If you do, if you don't
by JamesPotterwasntaseeker
Summary: Their romance is sought after, but it definitely didn't start out that way. He was nothing but a thorn in her side and she was everything to him. They were a perfect match, but try to convince her that.
1. Some things never change

**Author's note: **Hiya! I'm back. I couldn't stay away for long, I suppose. Since I am in love with Lily and James so much (it's become an obsession), I decided to try my hand at writing a fic about them. Well, I hope you enjoy this as much as my other story. :3

**Disclaimer: **Jo is everything.

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**Chapter one:**

**Some things never change**

James looked down at the small bundle in his arms. He looked over at his sleeping wife. She looked so peace, happy, serene. James' hazel eyes traveled back to the miniature human in his arms. He smiled to himself. The baby was beautiful. He had a bit of black hair like his father and his mother's gorgeous emerald green eyes.

"A perfect mixture of both of us," James said quietly looking from the baby boy and back to his wife.

The baby's green eyes stared into James' hazel eyes. James couldn't look away. It was like love at first sight. It was like the baby knew exactly who he was without James even telling him. They had such a strong bond already.

James heard Lily start to stir. Her delicate lids opened slowly revealing the gorgeous green eyes James fell in love with several years ago. She saw that he was sitting in the rocking chair next to the crib and she smiled at him. James' heart skipped a beat. No matter how many times he had seen that same beautiful smile over the years; his heart would always skip a beat. She had such a profound grasp on him that he felt like the luckiest man every day. The man was still madly in love with her, if not more so now. He always would be head of heels for her.

James smiled back at his wife. They didn't say a word, but merely stared into each other's eyes, each fighting for dominance to show who loved whom more. Lily finally broke the silence by getting up and sitting on the floor next to her husband.

"He's gorgeous, isn't he?" Lily said as her emerald eyes were wide with wonderment as she stared at their son.

"He's the most handsome baby I've ever seen in my life. I say we did a fantastic job," James said smiling down at his redheaded wife.

Lily playfully hit James on arm and smiled up at him.

"What? You've seen a better looking baby then our Harry! You're mental if you think so," James said with faux offense.

Lily's heart swelled with pride as James said _our Harry_. She couldn't help but smile at his words. Everything she ever wanted was right in front of her. She felt as if she were still dreaming.

"I was only teasing, you prat. Of course Harry is the most handsome baby I've ever seen," Lily said scowling.

"Oh, Lils. You're just as charming as our days at Hogwarts," James said with a light laugh.

"What is that supposed to mean!" Lily asked in a fierce whisper.

"Nothing," James said smirking at her.

Lily crossed her arms waiting for James to answer her question. James rolled his great hazel eyes and continued to smirk at her. He looked down at his now sleeping son and sighed.

"Fine. I'll tell you," James said pretending to sound annoyed.

"I knew I'd win," Lily said smiling her perfect smile as her emerald eyes smoldered with victory.

James let out a light chuckle and shook his head.

"My point. You've always been so, feisty. Granted, I loved it then as much as I love it now."

"You love my…feistiness?" Lily asked slowly.

"Well, it comes with the territory," he said pointing to her long, red locks.

Lily gave him a dirty look and re-folded her arms. "Prat," she said quietly.

"I heard that," James said.

Lily groaned. She always got in trouble that way. James and his extra sharp hearing always caught the things she didn't want him to hear. Lily stood up and walked behind the rocking chair. She looked down at her sleeping son and the man she loved, even if he can be a prat, a lot of the time. She sighed and felt her life was even more perfect than it had ever been before.

**

* * *

**

It was Lily's first year. She was so excited that she couldn't stand still. Elaine and Geoffrey Evans walked close to their youngest daughter as she nimbly walked through the crowd. Petunia sulked several steps behind. Lily made her way through the train station looking for the platform she needed. _7…8…9…10. Where was it? _Lily started to panic. She looked from platform 9 to platform 10. She looked back at her parents, who looked equally confused.

"Where is it, mum? Dad?" Lily asked as her eyes became emerald saucers full of worry.

"I told you it wasn't real," Petunia said snidely stepping from behind their parents.

"Shut up! It is real. I got the letter! Sev told me it was real!" Lily snapped back.

"Why would you believe that freak-ish little git, Lily? Why would you want to be a freak!" Petunia spat at her.

"Girls, stop it! Petunia, don't insult your sister, please," Elaine said to Petunia crossly.

Petunia looked up at her mother with a shocked look on her face. She couldn't believe that their mother was taking Lily's side. Petunia huffed and crossed her arms not looking at any of them.

Lily was on the verge of tears. She knew in her heart the Hogwarts was real. She knew it. Why would someone write her a letter telling her of this magical place if it weren't real? Why would Severus lie about such a place? She trusted him. So it had to be real.

"Lily!" She heard her name being called several feet away. Her long dark red hair floated around her as she turned around.

Severus Snape was standing there between platform 9 and 10 as if he was waiting just for her. She smiled at him. He walked quickly over to her and smiled at her.

"Where is it, Severus?" Lily asked sounding worried.

"I'll show you. Grab your things," Snape said smirking at her.

Lily turned towards her parents. She opened her arms and her Mr. and Mrs. Evans hugged and kissed their daughter like they'd never see her again. After her parents assault of affection, Lily walked over to her older, brooding sister.

"Well, goodbye Tuney. I'll miss you. I'll write you all the time! I love you," Lily said opening her arms to her sister.

Petunia looked at Lily's open arms as if she were road kill. Lily felt Petunia's rejection and lowered her arms. Lily gave one last look to her sister and turned slowly on her heel. Elaine patted Lily on the back as she passed. Lily gave her a small smile and went to grab her cart.

"Ready then?" Snape asked happily.

Lily nodded.

"Well, watch me first and then you try, ok?" He said.

Lily raised a red eyebrow. Snape just shook his head and gestured for her to watch him. He grabbed his cart and ran straight for the barrier between the two stations. Lily watched as he disappeared. Her mouth popped open to form an "o". Lily looked back at her parents, whose emotion mirrored her own. She turned back around and gripped the handle on her cart. She took a deep breath and did just as Severus did. She took a running leap towards what seemed like a brick wall. She kept reminding herself that it wasn't what it seemed. She closed her eyes when she was mere feet away from it.

She felt herself pass through what felt like silk. She opened one of her green eyes and saw that she was on a platform. She saw the sign above her that read "Platform 9 ¾". She gaped at it and quickly regained her composure. She didn't want to seem like amateur. Lily flicked her hair over her shoulder and looked around for her friend.

She spotted him loading his things onto the scarlet express. Lily felt like she was bubbling over with excitement. She let out a hysterical laugh. _It was real. She could never dream this up in a thousand years. _She pulled her cart up next to where Severus was placing his cart onto the train. He looked over at Lily whose eyes were large and filled with excitement. He couldn't help but smile at her.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" He asked her as he grabbed her trunk from the cart.

All Lily could do was nod. She was too engrossed in memorizing every aspect of the platform. Snape laughed lightly and shook his greasy, black mane. He placed all of Lily's belongings into a compartment he had procured for the two of them.

"Thank you," Lily said as he placed her snowy white owl onto the seat across from him.

"Anything for you," Severus said smiling.

Lily couldn't help but smile back. She couldn't contain her excitement.

The train started with a small start. Lily pressed her little face against the window as she watched the platform slowly start to disappear. _This was it; she was finally on her way. _

"Are you excited, Lils?" Snape asked looking at her thin form.

Lily turned from the window regrettably and sat down on her bench.

"I'm beyond excited. I just can't wait to see it, Sev. That's all I've been thinking about, all I've been dreaming about since I got the letter. I'm a bit sad that Petunia couldn't come. I'm really going to miss her," Lily said as her usually vibrant green eyes became dull.

"Yeah, such a shame," Severus said coolly.

"It is! I know you don't like her, Sev, but she's my sister. It just hurts that she has been so hostile towards me. I hope it doesn't last. Her taunting drives me crazy!" The redhead said frustrated.

Severus nodded and didn't say another word. He knew if he spoke, it wouldn't be anything nice. So, he decided it better to not say anything.

The two were quiet for a bit until Snape broke it.

"What house do you want to be in? I really hope you're in Slytherin with me," he said with a smile.

"Isn't that where all of the pure bloods go?" Lily asked biting her lip.

"Most of them. The most cunning, determined and ambitious as put there," Severus said happily.

"I don't think that's the best fit for me," Lily said apprehensively.

"You wouldn't want to be in the same house as me?" Sev asked.

"Of course I want to be in the same house as you. I just don't think I want to be in Slytherin, that's all," she said not meeting his gaze.

"Then what house do you want to be in?" Snape asked coldly.

"I don't know really. I think I may fancy Gryffindor," Lily said dreamily.

"Eek, why _Gryffindor_?" Snape asked distastefully.

"I've been reading about it in one of my school books. It sounds fantastic. Some of the bravest and daring witches and wizards have passed through that house. I want to be one of them," Lily said as she stared out of the window.

Snape crossed his arms and looked out the window also. He knew he was destined for Slytherin and he wanted Lily there with him.

"You know, you could be great in Slytherin also," Severus said quietly.

"Maybe, but I think my heart's already set," she said peering over at him.

"If you say so," Severus said.

Lily was about to retort when the door to their compartment slide open with great force. Two boys stood there talking to each other. The taller one of the two had a great shock of black hair and a pair of glasses to match. He was tall for his age and extremely skinny. The other also had black hair, but it was a lot longer than his companion. It gleamed in the sunlight pouring through the windows. The boy was only an inch shorter than his friend.

The second boy turned his head as his beautiful black hair flowed in a smooth as silk movement. His grey-blue eyes bore into the green eyes that stared holes into him. He smiled at her and nudged his friend. The first boy turned around and his hazel eyes fixed upon Lily's green. He smiled stupidly at her. As the boys stared at the redhead, they heard someone clear their throat. The two boys looked over at the other bench. The saw a boy with greasy black hair and a beak-like nose sitting there.

"May we help you?" Severus said coldly.

"Oh, sorry, mate. We thought this compartment was unoccupied, but we were terribly wrong," the first boy said with a laugh in his voice.

"Yes, terribly mistaken," Severus said continuing with his cool manner.

"I'm sorry, what has gotten your panties in a bunch? I've apologized for barging in here," the hazel-eyed boy said hotly.

"Nothing is the matter, except that you're still here after you can clearly see that the compartment isn't empty," Snape said as his black eyes blazed.

"Uh huh and what is your name, kid?"

"Severus Snape, but I don't see why that even matters," he said.

"I was just curious is all," the boy said as he turned his attention to the girl who was watching the exchange wearily.

"Oiy! You, girl, what's your name?" James asked.

She blushed as anger ignited in her emerald eyes.

"My name's Lily Evans and I'd appreciate if you never call me 'you' or 'girl' ever again, thanks," she said politely flashing him a dangerous smile.

"I'm sorry, _Lily Evans_," James said holding his hands up defensively.

"And what are your names?" Lily asked rounding on the two boys.

"Well, I am James William Potter and my new mate here is Sirius Orion Black. Please to meet you," James said bowing to her.

Lily tried to repress a giggle.

"Yes, pleasure to meet you," Sirius said smiling at her from James' right shoulder.

"I suppose it's nice to meet the two of you," Lily said.

"Well, now that we're all acquainted, you two can leave," Snape said with a snarl.

"Well, Snivellus wants us out, so we _must_ abide by his rules," James said with a grimace.

"Again, nice to meet you Lily Evans. You're a lot nicer than your _boyfriend_ here," Sirius said.

"He's not my boyfriend," Lily said defensively, "he's just my best mate."

Pain crossed Severus' face momentarily, but Lily didn't see it.

"I see. That's good to know," James said as he bowed once more and the two boys were gone as fast as they had appeared.

Severus looked at Lily. His pale face a mask void of emotion, but his black eyes were alive with hurt. He quickly looked out the window before Lily had time to see.

"Sev, are you ok?" Lily's quiet voice asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said quietly not looking at her.

"How about those blocks? They were interesting," Lily said looking at her friend with a smile on her face.

"Yeah, really _interesting_," Snape said sarcastically.

Lily didn't hear it. She turned and continued to watch the changing landscape.

**

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**

Lily sighed and looked down at James' lolling dark head as he had fallen asleep as she was remembering the first time they had met. Lily carefully grabbed the sleeping baby and placed him into his crib. She walked back over to James and kissed him on the cheek tenderly. Oh, the things she remembered when they were younger.

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**A/N: **All right! Chapter one done! What do you think? I'm really nervous about this, so feedback would be amazing. Good or bad. After this chapter, it's all going to be from the point when they were still in school. I'm going to work my way from a certain point and then move to the "present".

Reviews are like a large glass of water on a extremely hot day. Refreshing. Yeah, bad pun, sorry. As you were.


	2. Paralysis

**Author's note: **Hello, hello. The plot for this fic is still shaky, so bare with me. All right, on with the chapter, yo.

**Disclaimer: **Jo is air.

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**Chapter two:**

**Paralysis**

After the first time Lily met James, she hadn't been the same since. Three years had passed since that day and if anything, James was a starting to become a large part of her life. There was nothing romantic about it. If anything, James William Potter was a very large thorn in her side. All he did was make lewd and offensive comments to her on a daily basis. She would never understand boys. It seemed that James was the biggest prat Lily had ever encountered in her 14 years of life. And that statement would stand true for several years after.

"Lily Evans!" She heard the voice she didn't want to hear that morning.

Her red head turned around as a tall boy with unruly black hair and glasses gracefully loped towards her. She sat at the Gryffindor table with one manicured, red eyebrow raised. James stopped in front of her and smirked.

"What do you want now, James?" Lily asked uninterested.

"You, you silly little minx," James said with a wink.

Lily's gaped at him. His devilish smirk only got more mischievous.

"I was kidding, Evans. Can't you take a joke?" He asked blinking his hazel eyes at her.

"I can take a joke, thanks. Your little comment was a bit shocking and lewd, that's all," she said with a sniff.

"What's the matter, Evans, thought I fancied you? Would it be a dream come true?" James sneered down at her.

"No, not at all. That would be a nightmare, not a _dream_," Lily said blushing as anger rose to her cheeks.

An emotion flickered over James' face, but it was too quick for Lily to see.

"It's all right, Evans, I know you fancy me. You can tell me," James said smiling at her.

"Excuse me! Do I look like one of those mindless bimbos that follow you around like lost puppies? You know what, don't answer that because some stupid insult will come out of your mouth," Lily said starting to get frustrated.

"Well, I was going to say no, you don't look like 'a mindless bimbo'. You look better and you're a lot smarter," James said seriously.

For the second time that morning, Lily was shocked by James.

"But please, don't let that statement go to your head," James said rolling his hazel eyes.

"Believe me, it won't. Now, what do you want?" Lily asked crossing her arms.

"Oh, the last Hogsmeade weekend is coming up and I was wondering if you would like to go, with me," James said not looking at her," I mean, Sirius, Remus and Pete will be there, too. So, don't get any ideas that this is going to be a _date_."

"I wouldn't dream of you asking me out on a date," Lily said with a look of disgust.

"I'm sure. So, will you?" He asked looking down at her. His hazel eyes were more memorizing. The middle of his iris was mainly green with a few flecks of gold. Then as the color gradually went out towards the edges the brown, green and gold mixed together to swirl around like molten lava. Lily had never paid much attention to the boy over the years. She never allowed herself to. She could see why these dumb girls followed James Potter around like a lovesick puppy. She snapped out of it and looked up at him.

"I'll think about it and let you know," she said.

"Well, don't keep m–I mean, _us_ waiting," James said over his shoulder as he walked down the table towards where the Marauders typically sat.

Lily swung back around as she shook her thick mane of red hair. She heard her two friends giggle as she looked up at them across the table from her.

"What?" Lily asked incredulously.

"I think Potter has a crush on you," Tegan said knowingly.

"Why would you think something like that?" Lily asked widening her eyes in sheer disbelief.

"Oh, c'mon Lils! You can't see it? He just asked you to go to Hogsmeade with him. And may I add that it's the last weekend too. Are you daft?" Jenna said.

"It's not like it's going to just be he and I, Jen! The other Marauders will be there. Frankly, I like them all. They all may be mental, but their all sweet guys," Lily said digging into her scrambled eggs.

"Sure, whatever you say," Tegan said smirking at her.

"Are you two the daft ones?" Lily asked looking from one friend to the other.

"No, not at all. Once you're not blind anymore Lily, you'll see what I mean," Jenna said smiling.

"I don't believe the both of you. I _cannot_ believe the both of you. You two are mental," Lily said continuing to eat her eggs.

"When will she start believing us?" Jenna asked Tegan.

"Probably after this weekend," Tegan said with a smile.

The two girls laughed as Lily glowered at them.

**

* * *

**

James sat down on the bench next to Sirius. He looked up at his best mate with a question in his gray eyes. James nodded to him and smiled.

"So did you do it then?" Peter asked looking up from his plate.

"Ask her, you mean?" James asked Peter.

"Yes, what else could I be talking about?" Peter asked.

"A lot of things, Pete. Did I have sex? Did I go to the loo? Did I ask Lily Evans to Hogsmeade? See, the list goes on," James said with a smile.

Peter rolled his eyes and gave James a look.

"Well, the answer is, yes I did ask her," James said putting his elbows on the table.

"And?" Peter asked.

"She said she'll let me know," James said as the smile disappeared.

"I'm sorry, mate. Usually that means, no," Remus' light brown head said from the _Daily Prophet _that blocked his face from view.

"Moony, why are you always so depressing? You can't let me hope, can you?" James asked his friend.

"I'm sorry," he said putting down the paper, "I forgot you don't live in reality."

"Thanks, Moony," James said giving Remus the finger.

"Really mature, Prongs," Remus said laughing.

"Isn't he?" Sirius said.

The four boys laughed.

"Don't worry, mate. I'll butter her up for you," Sirius said smiling at his best mate.

"And what does that entail?" James asked eying Sirius.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'm simply going to talk to her. What else would I do? I know you like her, mate. She's off limits, even if she is delicious. Plus, she's become sort of like a little sister to me," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Damn right she's off limits," James said looking around the table to the three boys sitting around him.

The three boys all rolled their eyes. They had heard this speech for a year now. They knew exactly how off limits Lily Evans was.

"Prongs, we know," Remus said.

"I'm only reiterating the point," James said gruffly.

"When did you learn that word? Have you been reading the dictionary again?" Sirius teased.

"Fuck off Padfoot! Do you even know what the word means?" James asked raising a black eyebrow.

"I'm only teasing, mate. When any conversation comes up about Lily Evans you get all PMS-y," Sirius said wagging his black eyebrows.

The two other boys snorted.

"Sod off. That is not true. Is it?" James asked looking around the table.

The three boys nodded slowly as he caught their gaze.

"Shit," James said softly.

Sirius clapped James on the back, while the other two Marauders smirked at him.

**

* * *

**

The bell sounded as it was time for their first class of the day. Lily, Jenna and Tegan all grabbed their bags and slung it over their shoulders.

"You know, the books we have to get every year are steadily getting heavier," Jenna said swinging her shiny, chestnut brown hair over her shoulder as well.

"I think you're right," Tegan moaned.

"I don't mind, really. I mean, it's more for us to learn about," Lily said smiling at her two friends.

"Listen, Miss-treasured-student-in-Slug-Club, you're not normal. You should try to be a normal 14 year old girl sometime and not like you're 40. We haven't graduated, yet. You may like this back breaking 'learning material', but a lot of us normal people, do not," Tegan said holding out a brown hand.

Lily giggled.

"I assure you, I'm quite normal," Lily disagreed.

"Since when? The first day I met you in first year, all you talked about was how you were excited to learn. Don't get me wrong, so was I, but you took it to new extremes," Jenna said smiling at her best friend as they walked down to the dungeons.

"What's wrong with being excited to learn?" Lily asked as her lower lip turned into a pout.

"Nothing, but you're an over achiever," Tegan said laughing.

Lily rolled her green eyes and laughed. She loved her best friends no matter how much they teased her about her ridiculous work ethic. Her friends were quite smart, but they were happy with doing the bare minimal.

The three girls walked into their potions class that they had with the Ravenclaws. Lily, Jenna and Tegan sat right in the middle of the classroom. Lily wanted to sit in the front, but Jenna and Tegan thought it to be social suicide to sit in the front. Lily got them to agree to the middle of the class, but that was a struggle in itself.

Lily quickly got all of her supplies out as she happily waited for class to start. She bounced in her seat as her two friends watched in awe. Moments later, four very famous boys walked into the room. Lily rolled her eyes at their uniformed entrance. James and Sirius in the lead as Remus and Peter were two feet behind them lined up in perfect unison.

Lily always wondered how they always seemed so _perfect_. As the boys passed, Sirius gave her a sly wink. Lily covered her mouth and giggled. She and Sirius were fairly close. Unlike her and James, she and Sirius got on quite well. She felt extremely comfortable around him. They talked about anything and everything as well as being able to enjoy silence together. Whenever Lily was around James, he always filled their silent gaps with some kind of ridiculous story or comment.

Lily often asked Sirius how he could stand being around James. Sirius always replied that James is a lot different than he comes off. Lily refused to believe it. Until she saw that James Potter could be "different", she'd completely and utterly believe he was the biggest prat in England, maybe the world.

Her train of thought was broken when Slughorn made his way into the classroom. His large walrus-like mustache bristling as he panted. Lily assumed that he had briskly walked down from the Great Hall or he may have jogged. Lily couldn't help but smile at the thought. Slughorn looked up at his prized student and smiled back. Lily's eyes got huge for a moment when she realized Slughorn was smiling at her. He must have thought that she was smiling because of him. She was, but not for the reason he possibly could be thinking.

"All right class, settle down! Today I will be passing out cups of pumpkin juice to you all. Some of these cups will have paralyzing potion in it. I will not tell you which cups have it, but whoever isn't paralyzed must brew an anti-paralysis potion. All right, now come up and pick your partner's name out of this hat and grab your cup of pumpkin juice. Quickly," Slughorn said clapping his hand.

The class lined up in a single line. Lily, Tegan and Jenna were together in line as were the Marauders. Lily hoped she wouldn't get stuck with anyone she couldn't stand, like James. Lily realized it was her turn to pick a name out of the hat and grab a small glass of juice. She opened the small parchment of paper and read: _James Potter_. Lily almost screamed.

She couldn't believe this. Out of all of the names in the hat, she had to pull out the one person she didn't want to be paired with. She grabbed her glass of pumpkin juice and walked over to James. He raised a black eyebrow at her. She held out the paper for him to read. He looked up at her and smirked.

"I knew you couldn't stay away from me," he said seductively.

"You act like I wished to pull your name out of the bloody hat," Lily said through gritted teeth.

"I think you did," James said with a wink.

"Sod off, Potter," Lily said, "now, go grab a cup so we can get this over with."

James shook his head as he laughed at the frustrated redhead. He came back a moment later with his cup in hand. Lily was already seated next to her stuff staring at the liquid. James walked over to her table and looked at her.

"All right, ready to do this?" Lily asked glumly.

"I've been waiting _to do this_ for some time," James said with smirk.

Lily looked up at him appalled.

"What's wrong?" James asked innocently.

"Nothing, Potter. Let's get this over with," Lily said.

James held up his glass and waited for Lily to hit it. She rolled her eyes and hit it. They both drank the juice quickly. They both stood there waiting for something to happen. Moments later, Lily leg started to lock, then her arms. James quickly laid her onto one of the benches before she fell to the ground.

James looked down upon her face. A small smile spread upon his as he looked at her. Lily's mouth was also locked. All she could do was try look sternly at him. James smile got bigger.

"This is hilarious. Who knew it'd be you that got paralyzed. Well, I suppose it's up to me to fix this, huh?" James said devilishly.

James looked around and saw that Sirius was working with one of Lily's best friends, Jenna. Remus and Pete happened to be working together. And Lily's other best friend; Tegan was working with some dubious looking Ravenclaw. James turned back to Lily's lifeless form. Even if she couldn't move, her eyes were alight with anger. James quickly smirked and opened the potion book on the table to start.

"Don't worry, Evans. I'll take good care of you," James said smiling down at her.

Her green eyes were clouded with worry.

"Oh, Evans, have a little faith in me. I'm actually really good at potions," James said eying the book.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, you'll see," James said still looking at the book.

Lily wondered to herself how he had seen her do the small motion when he was staring directly at the textbook. The many wonders of James Potter.

As James was waiting for the potion to come to a boil, he sat down by Lily's head and talked to her.

"So, have you given my proposal any thought?" James asked,"oh, yeah. I forgot you can't speak. Um, blink once for yes and twice for no."

Lily blinked twice.

"Really, Evans? You haven't thought about it at all? That hurts. I've been thinking about this for some time," he said with a grin.

Lily rolled her eyes again.

"You know, Lily, your eyes are really pretty. Don't let that go to your head either. Your ego should be huge by now. I mean, the last two comments I gave you would have any girl in this school wooed. I wouldn't have to seduce her, not at all. That makes my job easier, you see," James said looking at her.

Lily's eyes were alight with anger. She didn't want to hear about how James extracurricular activities. James got up and checked the potion. He stirred it a few times and added something that Lily couldn't see. He then came to sit down next to her again.

"But really Evans, you should think about my question," James said seriously.

Lily balefully looked at James. He smiled down at her and got up to check on the potion again. He poured some in a vial and brought it over to Lily. He wafted it under her nose and slowly the potion started working. It started with her mouth, then her arms and lastly, her legs.

"I told you you'd be fine," James said with a smirk.

"Well, forgive me for doubting you," Lily said stretching her limbs.

"What? You're apologizing for something?" James asked shocked.

"Don't let it go to your head," she said smiling at him.

"Using my own words against me," James said shaking his head.

Lily nodded her head and smirked.

"Very funny," James said smirking.

"Oh, I know I am. Anyways, I don't ever want to hear about your extracurricular activities again," Lily said crossly.

James rubbed the back of his hair. "I won't. Promise."

"Good," Lily said crossing her arms.

Lily looked around the room and saw that Sirius was slowly regaining the use of his limbs again. Lily smiled at him and he smiled back. She also saw who he was working with. Lily secretly smiled to herself. She looked across the room and saw poor Tegan still paralyzed and saw she was paired with a Ravenclaw. Lily frowned and felt horrible for her friend.

She turned back and looked at James leaning on the desk. Lily walked over and stood in front of him.

"Thanks, by the way," Lily mumbled.

"What for?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Brewing a good potion," Lily said turning pink.

James rolled his eyes. "It's not that big of a deal, Evans, but you're welcome," he said laughing.

"Well, you could have been a big git and left me paralyzed."

"I wouldn't do that," James said quietly.

Lily looked up at him. James stood up to his full height and looked down at her. Lily was a tall girl (about 5 foot, 8 inches), but she wasn't nearly as tall as James. James felt as if her green eyes were x-raying his soul.

"You know what, James Potter?" Lily asked in a dazed voice.

"Hm?" He grunted.

"I will go with you to Hogsmeade this weekend," she said finally taking her eyes off of him.

James raised a black eyebrow. He was rather confused about this abrupt answer to his question he proposed at breakfast. Before he could inquire why, Slughorn clapped his hands together and the class grew quiet.

"I'm proud all of those who brewed a successful anti-paralysis potion. For those who have not, I would like you to write a 3 foot scroll on the importance of the potion and what you did wrong. I will come around and administer to those who still need the potion."

Lily was quickly putting her things in her bag and was hurriedly going over to her best friends. James decided to ask her why this weekend. He had to talk to his brothers to help him plan for the weekend.

* * *

**A/N: **Pretty long chapter (for only the second). Lots of James and Lily interaction. They're just so darn cute! Anyways, enough about that tell me what you think!

Reviews are a large bowl of mashed potatoes. Oh, goodness! I really want some.


	3. Starting anew?

**Author's note: **Good day everyone, I haven't slept yet because I've been up reading stories all night. And now I had gotten a bit of inspiration, so here I am typing away at this. I'm trying to write as much as I can so that I can update faster. Sound good? And thank you to Sareface and BlueJeanMistress for reviewing and a few others for favoriting. Thank you! All righty, on with the chapter!

**Disclaimer: **Jo is beautiful. And I would like to say thanks to **A lot like Birds**. They're fantastic and have a song title that refers to HP. :3 instant love.

* * *

**Chapter three:**

**Starting anew?**

It was lunch time and the four boys walked into the Great Hall as if they owned it. Typical. The boys sat in their typical area at the table. After the general hysteria of their entrance died, James beckoned them all closer.

"What's going on?" Remus asked raising a light brown eyebrow.

"She said yes!" James said in an excitable whisper.

"No shit?" Sirius asked shocked.

"No shit," James said with his perfect smile.

"How'd you get her to do it?" Peter asked.

"That's the thing, I have no idea. I'm totally okay that said yes anyways," James said.

"Hmm. I may have to do some snooping," Sirius said looking down the table at the redhead in question.

It was as if Lily felt Sirius grey eyes on her because she turned her auburn head to look at him. Lily gave him her heart-warming smile and Sirius couldn't help but smile back. He then sent her a look to say that they needed to talk. Lily looked a bit worried, but Sirius soothed her worries with just a look. Sirius then turned back around and continued the talk with his mates.

"So, what's the plan then?" Sirius asked.

"No idea. I was hoping that you lot could help me plan," James said rubbing the back of his head musing his already messy hair.

"I'm sure we can think of something," Remus said evenly.

The boys all smiled at each other. They knew how much of a love sick fool Prongs was and as his brothers, they were obliged to help him.

**

* * *

**

Lily was sitting in the library writing an essay for DADA. She heard footsteps coming towards her table and then stopping in front of her. She brushed her long ginger locks over her shoulder and looked at her company. It was Severus.

"Hey, Lils, mind if I join you?" He asked.

"Not at all!" She said moving her sprawled belongings out of the way.

Snape sat in the chair in front of her.

"What are you working on?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Oh, an essay on the basic spells one would need to protect their home and how they're properly used for DADA," Lily said rolling her green eyes.

"Sounds like a gas," he said as his black eyes greedily soaked up her actions like a dirty sponge.

"Oh, yes, definitely," Lily said flashing him a smile.

Snape's heart started to beat faster. She could win anyone over with that smile, him included. Even though he grew up with her, her beauty did terrible things to his body.

The two friends were quiet for awhile until Snape broke the silence.

"Are you going with anyone to Hogsmeade this weekend?" He asked not looking up from his book.

"Hm? Oh, yeah," Lily said brushing it off.

"Oh, with Tegan and Jenna?" Severus asked with his heart in his throat.

"Oh, no. I'm going with James," Lily said peering at him.

Severus was quite for a long time. Lily set her quill down and looked up at her friend who was visibly livid.

"Sev, don't be angry at me. I'm not going with just James. I'm going with all of the Marauders," Lily said reaching a hand out to touch his.

"So that makes it better, Lils! It's bad enough with Potter, but _all_ of them?" He said moving his hand before she could touch it.

Lily's face was full of hurt.

"Sev, what do you have against them? They're all really nice guys," Lily said trying to smile at him.

"I don't think these thugs as _nice_ people. They play pranks and torture people on a daily basis and I just don't understand how they're so loved by the staff," Snape said mostly talking to himself.

"Everyone plays pranks. I'm not saying that all of theirs are a good idea, but they're harmless," Lily said looking her oldest friend in the eyes.

"You're blind. You're blind like the rest of this damn school. Enjoy your weekend with, _Potter and company_," Snape said as he collected his things and left.

Lily sat there stunned and very hurt. She picked up the quill she set down and played with it. She wasn't really paying attention to what she was doing. Lily's mind was miles away. She didn't even realize when someone sat down at her table.

She finally came to when she saw a hand wave inches from her face. With a start, she came back to reality. She looked across the table and discovered it to be Sirius.

"Hey, babe," he said smiling at her.

"Hey," she said unenthusiastic.

"What's wrong? Who do I have to hex?" Sirius asked seriously.

"Don't worry about it, Sir. I'll be right as rain," Lily said smiling weakly at him.

Sirius gave her a skeptical look. Sirius knew her fairly well, almost as much as Tegan and Jenna, maybe even more.

"Lily-flower, you can't lie to me," Sirius said placing his large hand over her small, dainty one.

"I can try," Lily said smiling at him.

"Regardless, trying or not, I'll know. So spill," he said as his grey-blue eyes stared into hers.

Lily sighed and gave up.

"Since you're so charming and handsome and I think you cast a spell on me…"

"You're stalling, love," Sirius said with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. All right, I was minding my own business and doing my work when Sev comes in and asked if he could join me. Of course I said yes. So, we're having small talk when he asks me if I'm going to Hogsmeade with anyone this weekend. I didn't lie to him. I told him that I was going with James, you, Remus and Peter. So, Sev gets really angry with me and starts to freak out. I didn't see the big deal. I like you guys and I think you're all nice blocks. Sev went on about how your pranks are dangerous and he doesn't understand why you're all so popular. I told him that you all were harmless. Apparently that was the straw that broke the camel's back and he left," Lily finished in a rush.

Sirius sat there. His face was a cool mask of calm, but his eyes turned more blue than grey. Lily knew that as a dangerous sign. Lily grabbed Sirius' right hand and held it in both of hers.

"Please calm down. I stuck up for your honor!" Lily said with a smile that she hoped would help.

Sirius didn't move anything but his eyes. He looked at her with a look of rage. Not at her, but for her so-called best mate.

"After I'm done with him, he'll really believe that we're dangerous," Sirius said through clinched teeth.

"No, please. That would cause so many problems. You could get expelled. I love you too much for that to happen. Everything will be fine," Lily pleaded with the beautiful boy in front of her.

"He pisses me off, Lily. I don't understand why you hang out with that arsehole."

"He's been my friend since I was little. He told me I'd be coming here, Sirius. I can't abandon him," Lily said with a shrug.

"Well, maybe you should reconsider that," Sirius said with a huff.

"I'm not going to do that, Sir. We've been friends for too long. I'm not giving him up for anyone. I'm sorry," Lily said as her green eyes filled with agony.

"I know, Lils, but that doesn't make it any better," Sirius said.

"I know. All I can say is that I'm sorry."

"I know. Let's get off of this subject, please," Sirius said moving a bit from his statue-state.

"All right. Anything you want," Lily said flashing him a quick smile.

"So, I have a question," Sirius said as a shadow of his usual smirk was plastered on his face.

Lily looked up from her paper and urged him to continue.

"Well, what I want to is is why did you tell James yes?"

Lily once again placed her quill on the table and moved her thick hair out of her face.

"I don't really know, actually. I mean, after he brewed the antidote today in potions and he actually showed sincerity versus his usual pig-headedness, I felt that there's something more to James Potter," Lily said with a shrug.

"You got that right," Sirius said with a secret smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Don't worry your pretty ginger head about it, but aw! That's terribly cute. I reckon the two of you will be married by next week," Sirius said grinning at her.

"Sod off. I don't even like Potter _that way_. That's just an awkward thought," Lily said with a shudder.

"Right. One day you'll come around," Sirius said.

"Never in my wildest dreams or nightmares," Lily said going back to her paper.

"I don't believe you," Sirius said.

"You don't have to because it's not the least bit true. Don't you have a first or second year to torture?" Lily asked in mock annoyance.

"Oh, I think I can find someone to torture. Catch you later, Lily-flower," Sirius said kissing her hand and darting from the library.

Lily sighed and laughed quietly to herself. That boy was one of a kind.

**

* * *

**

Sirius dashed up to Gryffindor tower. He burst through the door of his dormitory. No one was in there, which was all right with Sirius. He knew the boys would want to know what he was up to and would probably want to join in, but this time, he wanted to do things alone. He walked over to the desk and tapped it to unlock it. The drawer sprang open and he quickly took the heavy parchment out.

He tapped the parchment and said the magic words: _I am solemnly up to no good. _The parchment quickly showed the layout of the school. He opened it and searched for the name he was looking for. He finally saw it. The person was walking to the Great Hall. Sirius put the map in his robes and rushed down to meet him.

Sirius took many shortcuts so he could reach him in time. As Sirius emerged from a shortcut right beneath the staircase, he saw his target. Sirius grinned to himself. He raised his wand and pointed it directly at the boy's back.

"Levicorpus!" He said stepping out of the shadows.

The boy was instantly lifted in the air, only hanging by an ankle. Sirius walked under the boy.

"Oh, hello there Snivellus," Sirius said with a smirk.

Severus didn't say anything, but looked down angrily at the boy.

"See, I don't appreciate you saying rude things about my mates and me. Yes, we prank a lot of people, but we're not dangerous. I could be if you cross me again. Now, do us all a favor and leave Lily alone. If I see you hurt her again, I will do a lot worse than I am now. I am going to set you down now, but don't say I wasn't ever nice to you," Sirius said and flicked his wand as Snape hit the floor.

Sirius gave him one more piercing look with his gray eyes and walked into the Great Hall.

**

* * *

**

It was finally the weekend. Lily didn't feel any differently than she would have any other day. She brushed her long, thick red hair and placed it in a high ponytail. Her best friends Tegan and Jenna were lounging on her bed as she got ready.

"For someone that isn't going on a date, you sure are taking a long time," Jenna said rolling her light blue eyes.

Lily glared at her in the mirror.

"I'm sorry that I like to make sure I look ok, _no matter _what I'm doing," Lily said as she stuck her tongue out.

"You mean no matter whom you're doing," Tegan said with a giggle.

Lily turned all the way around and looked at her two laughing friends.

"Why do I hang around you two again?" Lily asked crossing her arms.

"Because you love us and you'd probably live a sad, boring life without us," Jenna said with her award winning smile.

Lily rolled her dark green eyes and turned around to look at herself one last time.

"You look fine. Let's go! The boys are probably waiting," Tegan said getting up.

Lily sighed and followed the two girls out of the dorm.

The four boys were lounging on the couch as they waited for the three girls. James was extremely nervous, but you wouldn't be able to tell by the causal way he sat on the couch. Moments later, he heard the sound of the three girls' voices and he sat straight up. The other boys all raised their eyebrows at him.

Tegan's wild brown curls came first and then followed by Jenna's extremely straight, thick brown haired head and finally the girl he was waiting on. He stood up and the Marauders followed suit. The three girls stopped and waved at them.

"Ready to go then?" James asked as he looked at everyone in the group.

They nodded their heads and James led them downstairs. As they walked down to the entrance, they all made small talk. After a few minutes it became a lot more comfortable. As they made it to the entrance, they got in line with everyone else.

After they got the green line to go, the group of seven let out whoops of laughter as they were finally free. Lily and Sirius playfully danced their way down to the village. James couldn't help but watch them. As her hair caught the sun, he saw the tiny golden streaks that he never saw before. He saw her beautiful smile. He felt a pang of jealousy because he knew it wasn't for him, but he admired it anyways. He also admired her eyes. The eyes that caught his attention the first time he met her when he accidently barged into her train compartment.

Even then he was taken aback by her damn eyes and he didn't even know her. As she looked up at Sirius and laughed, her eyes were dazzling. The very sight of them did weird things to James.

The group made it down to the village in no time. James looked at the Marauders and they nodded at him. Sirius opened his mouth and stood in front of the group.

"Jenna, do you mind accompanying me to Honeydukes?" He asked her with his hand out.

Jenna looked at Lily and then to Sirius. Lily gave her a sly wink and shooed her over to Sirius. Jenna looked at Sirius and his grey eyes were blazing with seduction. Jenna felt weak at the knees and nodded. She grabbed Sirius' hand and they were off, running down the lane at a breakneck pace. Lily watched them go.

Next, Remus and Peter walked to the front of the dwindling group. They smiled at them and Remus opened his mouth.

"Tegan, would you like to accompany Pete and I to get a drink at The Three Broomsticks?"

Tegan put a hang on her slender hip and cocked her head to the side.

"I see what you're trying to do," she said shooting James a look, "and I'm totally okay with it."

Tegan walked between James and Lily, bumping into them, and lead the way to The Three Broomsticks. Tegan turned her head back to Lily as she went and gave her a wink. Lily rolled her eyes. She became fully aware that James was standing to her left. She didn't dare turn her head and look at him. That would just confirm things to be awkward.

"Well, that was odd," James said rumpling his hair.

Lily closed her eyes for a moment. _Why did he have to say anything?_

"I guess it was," she said turning towards him.

James had the same smirk on his face as he always did as his hazel eyes glowed with mischief.

"So, shall we go then?" He asked.

"Go where?" Lily asked as she arched an eyebrow.

James smirk widened into a smile and he grabbed her hand as he led her down the road. Lily had no choice but to follow him. The whole time she voiced her questions of concern. James ignored her and kept his hand wrapped securely around hers.

They eventually stopped and were now standing in front of the Shrieking Shack. James dropped Lily's hand. She looked at him with her arms crossed.

"So this is your grand scheme? You want to break into the Shrieking Shack?" Lily asked.

"No, not at all. I thought it was a good spot to…be alone," James said slightly blushing and running a hand through his unruly hair.

"Alone? I thought you said this isn't a date," Lily said as her green eyes blazed with anger.

"It's not! I just figured over the years we've gotten off a bad foot and I just wanted to…start anew. I guess, if you wanted to," he added.

Lily opened her mouth to say something back, but shut it after she figured she didn't know what to say. Once again, James Potter shocked her.

"I take that as a yes?" James asked apprehensively.

Lily held up a small finger to tell James to hold on. Her brain was going crazy. Why was James being so nice to her now? What was he getting at? What does this whole starting anew pertain? She finally lowered her finger.

"First, tell me what 'starting anew' pertains to?" Lily said looking up at him.

James' hand automatically reached up to his black locks.

"Well, I just feel that I've tortured you enough and decided it'd be better if we were on a lot better terms," he said not looking at her.

"Why?" Lily asked before she could stop herself.

"I don't know. I guess it just came to me," he lied.

"I see. I suppose that sounds like a good idea," she said shrugging, "no harm in it."

James instantly brightened and smiled at her.

"Excellent," he said.

Lily smiled back at him. _What was she getting herself into?_ She held out her hand to James. He looked at her hand with a questioning gaze.

"Usually when people come to a resolution or an agreement, they shake hands," Lily said with a smile.

"Oh," James said taking her hand gingerly as Lily began to shake it.

James slowly closed to the gap between them. Lily realized that he was rather close to her. She didn't quite know how she felt about it. James dropped her hand and looked at her. The look on his face was one Lily never saw before. She bit her lip.

In the next minute, she didn't realize what was happening. James Potter's lips were upon hers. They were warm, a bit moist, but mostly soft. Lily instinctively closed her eyes and kissed him back. It wasn't very romantic. When James pulled back, Lily's green eyes snapped open and a look of horror passed over her features.

"Um, we should probably go," Lily said not looking at him.

"Why?" James asked with a little hurt in his voice.

"I'm sure they're all wondering where we are," she said biting her lip.

James didn't say anything, but simply nodded.

The two didn't say a word to each other as they headed up the road. The silence was beyond awkward. Lily wanted to just run up the road as fast as she could straight to the castle, but she knew she couldn't do that. When the two arrived at The Three Broomsticks, a table of their peers all turned towards them with smiles on their faces. As soon as they saw the two weren't smiling back, their faces dropped.

Lily's two best friends' brows creased with worry as the Marauders stared blankly at their best mate. When the awkward silence grew to a maximum, Tegan spoke.

"Well, I suppose we should be off. Come, Lils. Thanks for a lovely time boys! We'll have to do it again, sometime," she said sliding off her stool and locking her arms with her two friends.

After the three girls left, the three boys waited for their friend to speak.

"Well, that didn't go as expected," James said lightly.

"What happened, mate?" Sirius asked.

"I really don't know," James said.

James took the seat one of the girls had been sitting in and ordered a butter beer. At least he had good friends to help him forget about this ordeal.

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**A/N: **Woo! This was a long one. I hoped you liked it.

Reviews are music to my ears.


	4. Summer

**Author's note:** Allo! I'm a beast, thus far, 4 chapters in two days. I'm sure it'll be more than that until I get hit with the dreaded writer's block. -_- Let's hope not. NOW, on with this shit!

P.S. I wasn't going to post this today, but you all compelled me. Now to hurry and finish a few more chapters. You are all the best. x3

**Disclaimer: **The Earth revolves around JKR.

* * *

**Chapter four:**

**Summer**

Lily tossed and turned. Her great red mane flailing out on her pillow as she tossed around. Lily sat up and woke with a start. Summer had been in full swing for over two weeks now and she's been dreaming about that damn kiss she had with James. She brushed her hair out of her face and lay back down on her bed with a thud.

She placed her arms behind her head and wondered why she had been dreaming about something that made her feel so uncomfortable. She always wondered why James had done it. She wanted to know the answer to this question, but she felt too awkward to talk to him on their last day at school. She wanted to write him and asked, but she knew that it'd be awkward. But it'd be a lot less awkward than it would be if she spoke to him in person.

Determined, Lily got up and grabbed a piece of parchment. She grabbed her quill and stuck it between her teeth in thought. What was she going to say? She quickly took the quill out of her mouth and wrote before her nerve went away.

_James-_

_How has your summer gone thus far? I know I haven't spoken to you since __that day__, but it's been on my mind. Before you get any perverted ideas, not in the way you wish it has been. Anyway, I was wondering something, which is what has compelled me to write to you. I was wondering why you had kissed me. Well, I hope to hear from you._

_-Lily_

She folded the note and tied it around her snowy owl's leg. She stroked Snowball's great head and then the owl was off. As Lily closed her window, she heard her bedroom door open. She spun around and saw Petunia standing there.

"Am I interrupting some freakish thing your _kind _does?" She spat at her little sister.

"Petunia, if you're going to be a bitch to me for no reason, you can leave," Lily said looking at her sister indifferently with her arms crossed.

"Well, I haven't come here out of my own accord. Mum made me come up here to tell you that breakfast is ready," Petunia said with spite in her voice.

"Well, I'm sorry for your inconvenience. It's sad, Tuney, we were inseparable, but now you can't stand the sight of me. My thoughts, my feelings have never changed towards you," Lily said biting her lip.

"That's because I didn't change, Lily! You changed. You left. You're not…_normal_," Petunia said bitterly.

"I'm the same person. I haven't changed! Yes, I left for _school_. You act like I left you and the family because I didn't want to be around the lot of you anymore. Not true. You're going to leave here too when you go off to university," Lily said as tears welled up in her eyes.

"I will be leaving here, but it'll be around normal people who don't do _m–things_. You have changed, Lily. You aren't my sister anymore," Petunia said turning and shutting the door.

Lily sat back down on her bed and put her face in her hands. She let out a great sob and then more. She had bad rows with Petunia whenever she'd come home from school during holidays and past summers, but never like this. Petunia had never told her she wasn't her sister anymore. That hurt the worst. After a few moments, Lily made herself sober up. She walked into her personal bathroom and washed her face. She couldn't let her parents see that she had been crying, again.

It was a lot of stress on her parents to see their two daughters fight. She didn't want them to stress out over something, especially something they all knew they couldn't change. Lily didn't want to change. She liked, no loved, being a witch. The thing Lily would change is that her sister could be one too. That way Petunia wouldn't feel left out. They would be close again, but Lily knew in reality that that could never happen.

Lily sighed and made sure her eyes were no longer red. She grabbed her robe and headed downstairs. As she walked into the kitchen, she saw only her mother and father.

"Good morning," her mother greeted her.

"Morning mum. Morning dad," Lily said sitting down in her usual chair.

"Morning, Lils," her dad said as he smiled at her over the paper.

"Where's Tuney?" Lily asked slowly.

"Oh, she left. She said she had something to do," Elaine said as she walked over to the table.

Lily nodded and started to put food onto her plate. She placed a good amount of scrambled eggs, pancakes and ham onto her plate. She dug in without another word.

After Lily ate her fill, she helped her mother clean up the kitchen.

"You know, Lil, I worry about you and Petunia a lot," her mother said as she dried off dishes.

"Why, mum?" Lily asked, but she already knew the answer.

"Because you two fight so much. I think your sister's jealous. I mean, after the whole ordeal about her writing to your headmaster trying to go to Hogwarts, she just turned so bitter about it. And it worries me. I don't want to see you two fall apart. When your father and I are gone, the two of you will only have each other."

"I know, mum. I don't want us to fall apart either. I love Petunia, I do. No matter how much I try, she always puts me down. I just wish she would see that I haven't changed. I'm still the same Lily she knew, except I grew up a bit. That's all," Lily said with a sigh.

"I think deep down she knows you're the same, but I think she refuses to see it because she's blinded by jealousy. I don't like seeing her that way. I've tried talking to her about it, but she won't have it. All we both can do is try, Lils," Elaine said wiping her hands on her apron.

Lily nodded and hugged her mother's small frame. The two looked so much alike. Their hair color was identical and so were their eyes. Petunia favored their father more. She obtained his blond hair and his brown eyes. Lily always thought that to be so strange. They favored each other a bit, but not much. Maybe they were a lot different than Lily had first thought.

Mrs. Evans kissed Lily on the head and released her. They smiled sad smiles at each other and Lily went up to her room. When she got there, she noticed Snowball screeching and clawing at the window. Lily hurriedly opened it as she soared and landed on Lily's bed.

"I'm sorry, girl. I forgot that I shut the window," Lily said giving the angry owl a treat. The owl was still a bit peeved, but extended its leg out to Lily.

Lily took the letter from the owl and opened it. She opened it with shaking fingers.

_Lily-_

_Summer's been going fairly well. Sirius moved in a few days ago, so that makes things a lot more entertaining around here. Sirius says hello and that he misses you. Um, well, as for the kiss. I don't know what came over me. Some start after we agreed to be friends, huh? Well, Sirius and I were wondering if you'd like to come over sometime this week. Well, let me know._

_-James_

Lily sighed in relief. She was dreading what James may have written, but was instantly glad that it was nothing. She hoped it was nothing. Lily quickly wrote him back and told him that she'd be happy to visit them sometime. She told him to pick a day.

Lily felt a lot more at ease now that one weight was off of her shoulders.

**

* * *

**

James was sitting in the longue of his house with Sirius when he saw an owl fly in through the open window. The owl landed on the back of one of the chairs and cocked its head at him. James and Sirius raised an eyebrow at the owl and then looked at each other.

James got up and walked over to the white owl. It held out its leg and he saw the letter was addressed to him. He took it and petted the owl to show his gratitude. The owl hooted in affection. James opened the letter and read it.

"Who's that from?" Sirius asked stretching.

"Lily," James said as he finished the letter.

"Oooh. A letter finally declaring her love for you?" Sirius said pretending to have been wooed.

James rolled his hazel eyes and laughed.

"No. She just wanted to know why I kissed her," James said placing a hand through his hair.

"Ut-oh!" Sirius said.

"At least she's communicating with me now," James said with a shrug.

"That's true. Well, when you write her back, tell her I said hello and that I miss the little bird."

"I will. I don't even know what to say," James said.

"The truth is freeing, so I heard," Sirius said.

"I don't think I could tell her, now," he said ruffling his hair.

"Sure you could, mate. Just write: Lily, I've been head over heels for you since our third year, maybe the first day we met. Love at first sight," Sirius said with a grin.

James looked at his best friend and flicked him off.

"I'm only teasing, James."

"Oh, I know. So was I," he said with a smile.

James sat down at the desk in the corner and grabbed some parchment and a quill. He tapped the quill on the desk for a bit and then began to write. He read it over and folded the letter up. He tied it to the owl and it was off.

"Did you tell her?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, I told her hello for you."  
"No, I mean, did you tell her the truth?"

"No and I'm going to keep it that way for awhile," James said.

Sirius nodded and went back to what he was going.

**

* * *

**

The day had come to when Lily was going to James' house. She didn't know what to expect, except one thing, Sirius. She smiled as she thought about seeing one of her closest friends.

That afternoon the three of them were to meet at the Leaky Cauldron and then they'd floo over to James' house. Lily quickly walked through muggle London and headed straight for The Leaky Cauldron. Once inside, her stomach threatened to drop. She finally felt the nervousness creep into her body.

She found a table at the back of the pub and waited. She tapped her toe as she looked around. With every sound, Lily became more and more paranoid.

"Hey, Evans," she heard a voice say next to her.

She looked up at where the voice came from and saw James Potter staring down at her. She smiled back at him, her nervousness turning it into a small grimace.

"Lily-Flower!" Sirius exploded as he walked over to her and hugged her.

Lily hugged him back and smiled at him as well.

"So, ready to go?" James asked.

"Mhm," Lily said getting up from her chair.

They all grabbed a handful of powder and went to James'. Moments later, Lily walks out of a large fireplace. She didn't have to stoop over, that's how large it was. She looked in amazement as she walked into the room. James turned around and smiled at her.

"Well, this is my summer home," James said opening his arms in a grand gesture.

"Summer home? You have more than one house?" Lily asked as her jaw dropped.

"Yes. Most old, pure blood families have multiple homes. This one, this one is my favorite," he said.

Lily finally picked her jaw up from the floor.

"It's gorgeous," she said.

"Thanks. My mother likes to decorate, _a lot_," he said with a chuckle.

"Where are your parents, by the way?" Lily asked.

"Oh, they went to go visit a few friends. They won't care if you're over. The rarely care about much."

Lily nodded not knowing what to say.

"So, can I get you anything?" James asked.

"More like can one of the elves get you anything," Sirius said with a grin.

"You have house elves, too?" Lily asked as if her eyes were going to pop out of her head.

James simply nodded.

"What don't you have?" She asked incredulously.

"Nothing much. I truly mean that," Sirius answered for him.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Um, no. I don't want anything. Thanks, though," she said to answer James' long lost question.

James nodded. The three looked at each other. Sirius cleared his throat. James and Lily peered at him.

"How about we play a game?" He asked with a devilish smirk.

Two pairs of eyebrows went up.

"What kind of game?" James asked.

"A drinking game, duh!"

"I'm not playing a drinking game," Lily said matter-of-factly.

"Oh, come on Lily-flower. Live a little?" Sirius pleaded.

"We're only 14!"

"So? James and I have been drinking since we were 13. No big deal. You don't have to drink much, if you can win," Sirius said with a smile.

Lily frowned at the two of the boys. She rolled her eyes and finally nodded.

"And I intend not to lose," she said.

**

* * *

**

The three friends lay on the floor all sprawled out.

"I thought you weren't going to lose?" Sirius asked with a laugh.

"I didn't lose!" Lily said with a hiccup.

"You definitely lost, Lily," James said sitting up.

"No, I didn't. You lost, Potter," Lily said sitting up as well.

"How did I lose! You lost because you haven't done anything!" James acussed.

"No, that means I win. You lost because you've done too much!" Lily said pointing at him.

James turned towards Sirius. "Tell her, mate. Tell her I won."

Sirius held up his hands as to say he's staying out of this one.

"Fine. I'll tell you anyways, I won, you lost. The end," James said smiling at her.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, James. You hate to lose so much that you have to change the rules to the bloody game all of a sudden," she said.

James sat there and fumed at her. Sirius watched from one person to the other.

James stood up and towered over Lily. Lily stood up and stared right back. They were both still super angry at each other.

Lily's cheeks were flushed. James didn't know if it was the fire whiskey or if it was the anger. Either way, it made her look even more beautiful. Her eyes were extremely bright because of the alcohol. James felt himself soften up. She was stunning even when she was pissed off at him and drunk. Could she ever not be pretty?

Lily saw James' features soften. Hers softened as well. They were fighting over something extremely stupid. Lily sighed and closed her eyes. She didn't see as James' left hand came up to lightly grab her face make her look up at him. Her eyes instantly opened. She looked up at him confused. Sirius thought that this was his cue to leave.

James' lips crashed down upon hers. They were hot, soft and completely driven by need. Lily was in shock, but her lips responded. She kissed him back like she had never kissed anyone. James clung to her as she clung to him. Lily's mind was numb as she let James kiss her.

She pulled back, but James only followed her and brought her back to the kiss. Lily's body finally relaxed and it started all over again. James' tongue darted to her bottom lip and she let him in. Her tongue danced with his as they continued. When Lily couldn't breathe any longer, she pulled away.

She and James both gasped for air. They untangled themselves from each other. Lily's body shook with the aftershocks of the kiss. James quickly turned around to _straighten_ himself out. He turned back around after he was fixed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Um, sorry about that," James said over at her.

Lily didn't say anything. For one, she no longer felt drunk. She was completely sober. She finally registered that James said something to her. She looked up at him.

"Oh, it's all right, but I should get going. It is getting late," she said with a small smile.

"Oh, Sirius and I will go with you," he said.

"No, it's all right. I'll be fine," she said still smiling.

"Are you sure? We won't mind," he said looking worried.

"James, I'll be fine. Thank you," she said as she walked over to the fireplace.

She grabbed a handful of powder and said _The Leaky Cauldron_. And she was gone. James stared at the fire as it turned back to normal. He sighed, ran a hand through his hair and walked upstairs to find Sirius.

**

* * *

**

Lily made it back to her house. She looked at the clock in the kitchen as she walked it. It read 10:00. Lily silently cursed under breath. Her parents were going to kill her.

"Lily, is that you?" Her mother's voice called from the longue.

"Yes, mum, it's me," she said bracing herself for the worst.

"All right, dear," she said.

Lily raised an eyebrow and wondered why her mother wasn't grounding her for the rest of the summer. She was all right with not being grounded for the rest of the summer, but it was a bit odd. She walked up to her bedroom and threw herself on her bed.

She lay back and looked up at her canopy. She had kissed James Potter, for the second time. This time, she had actually enjoyed it. She let herself enjoy it. What was happening to her?

She quickly got up and grabbed parchment. She needed to talk to someone about this. She wrote identical letters to her best friends.

_I did something terrible. I need to talk to someone about this. Please meet me at The Leaky Cauldron tomorrow around one. I'm in desperate need._

_Lils_

She tied them to Snowball's leg and laid back down on her bed. As she continued to stare holes into her canopy, she heard a great commotion. She sat up and saw a large eagle owl sitting on her windowsill. She got up and wearily went over to the owl. It held out its leg and waited for her patiently to take the paper off of it. She grabbed it and opened it quickly.

_Lily_

_I was just making sure that you got home safely. Please let me know._

_James_

Lily looked at the letter in shock. He actually cared that she got home safely. She grabbed a scrap of parchment and quickly wrote that she got home safely and tied it to the beautiful owl in front of her. It took off quickly.

Lily stood there dumbfounded and watched it as it went. After a few minutes, she deemed it safe to sit back down on her bed. She jumped when she heard a flutter of wings. It was her owl this time. She smiled at her and saw that she had letters attached. Lily walked over and stroked the owl's head. She took the letters and read over both of them.

_Lily_

_WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO! I hope it was something good. Cannot wait to hear about this tomorrow. See you then._

_-Tegan_

_Lily_

_It's killing me not knowing what you did. I'm so excited to hear about it tomorrow. See you then, love!_

_-Jenna_

Lily laughed at her two best friends. Two very different responses, but so ready to listen to Lily's story. She sighed feeling a bit relieved to have someone to talk about this to. She wished she could talk to her sister, but she knew that would be out of the question.

Lily lay back down and closed her eyes. Before she knew it, she was asleep.

**

* * *

**

The next morning, Lily woke up feeling a bit stiff. She had slept in the clothes she was in the day before. It's never a good feeling sleeping in jeans. Lily quickly discarded her clothes and headed for the shower. She hummed as she cleaned herself off. Feeling completely refreshed, she wrapped a towel around herself and went to look for something to wear.

Lily emerged moments later after she found her yellow polka dot summer dress and her wet hair hanging over her shoulder. She cheerfully greeted her parents as she came down to breakfast. Once again, Petunia was absent. Lily bit her lip and sat down. She quickly gobbled down her food and looked at her watch. It was about noon. She quickly told her parents where she was going and that'd she'd be home sooner than she was last night.

They told her goodbye and she was off. Lily made it through muggle London and to The Leaky Cauldron by 12:45. She walked into the pub and took the same table she did the day before. A waitress came up to her and asked if she'd like anything to drink. Lily nodded and asked for a butter beer. Just as her butter beer was delivered, her two best friends showed up. The two girls ordered the same and sat down.

The two girls had identical Cheshire cat grins on their faces. Lily couldn't help but smile back at them.

"So, don't keep us waiting!" Tegan said.

"All right, all right," Lily said smiling.

The two girls leaned in as Lily began her story.

"So, yesterday I decided to ask James why he had kissed me that weekend and he basically told me that he didn't know. He then asked if I would like to come over to his house. Plus, Sirius was there since he moved in with him days ago. Well, I decided to go over. We eventually played a drinking game. I won, despite what James says. So, we had a big heated argument and he kissed me. And I ended up kissing him back. I think I may have liked it," Lily said biting her lip.

"One, I think it's complete bollocks that he doesn't know why he kissed you. I believe that he fancies the pants off of you. Two, you fancy the pants off of him. Three, you actually drank!" Tegan said with a smile.

"Four, I knew this would happen sooner or later!" Jenna said with a squeal.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't know if I do fancy him or not. I don't know if it was the alcohol or if it was my true feelings. And every time we get close like this, I just want to run away."

"Why?" Jenna asked.

"I don't know. Something keeps telling me to run," Lily said.

"Don't listen to it! You and James would be perfect together," Tegan said.

"Now I know you're full of shit," Lily said.

"Am not. Honestly, you two are adorable and obviously there's some kind of passion!" Tegan said.

"Obviously! You said you even enjoyed it," Jenna said.

Lily bit her lip. She couldn't deny that she did enjoy the kiss. What was she thinking?

"I can't be with him!" Lily said.

"Why?" Both girls asked.

"I–I don't know," Lily said.

They gave her a dubious look.

"I seriously don't know why I can't do it," Lily said putting her head in the palm of her hands.

"Lily, stop being so uptight. Just live a little," Tegan said.

"Last time I 'lived a little', I kissed James bloody Potter," Lily said.

"My point exactly," Tegan said with a wink.

Lily shook her head.

**

* * *

**

The next few weeks went by in a blur. She would write James every once in awhile, asking how is summer was going. Never anything too serious. Lily spent time with her two best friends as well. The morning that her Hogwarts letter, she was in for a bit of a surprise.

She got her Prefects badge. And she would soon find out that Remus Lupin would be her partner. Lily was giddy and excited. Now to see what her 5th year would entail.

* * *

**A/N: **AH! All done. This chapter was pretty fun to write. I got stuck in some places. Oh, yeah. The drinking game they played was "Never have I ever". If you don't know what it is, it's when you say something you never did and if you have done whatever the person says, you take a drink. I also don't condone 14 year olds to drink. LOL!

Reviews are amazing as 11 pages of chapter!11!1!


	5. Fifth year, part one

**Author's note: **Hello, hello. I'm sorry the titles to these chapters are kind of boring. I guess my creativity has to lack somewhere. Still going strong, even after writing such a long chapter. That was my longest yet. Sorry it took me forever to update. Stupid school and its stupid projects. I'm writing chapter 6 now (asking for forgiveness in advanced because I'm having difficulties finishing it). Hurray! So, on that note, let's get this show on the road.

**Disclaimer: **Jo is the earth, moon and stars.

* * *

**Chapter five**

**Fifth year, part one**

**Denial  
**

Lily was safely boarded on the train. She had hugged her mum and dad goodbye moments earlier, but to Lily's dissatisfaction, her sister was nowhere in sight. Lily knew that she wasn't going to show, but part of her couldn't help to hope. So, Lily sat in her empty compartment thinking about the past few weeks.

It had been the most interesting summer, yet. She had experienced a few new things. One, she tried fire whiskey and ended up doing something that she didn't think she'd do again. Two, she rarely spoke to Sev. It seemed that they were slowly drifting apart. Ever since the fight they had a week before school ended, seemed to really take a toll on their friendship. Lily shook her head and sighed. She supposed she should talk to him about this.

The door to her compartment slid open and there stood the boy in question. He looked at her with his beetle black eyes and tried to smile at her. It didn't work. Lily sat there waiting for him to speak.

"Hey, Lils," Severus said.

"Hi," Lily said quietly.

"May I come in?" He asked.

"Sure," Lily said gesturing for him to come in.

Snape walked into the empty compartment slowly as if he was waiting for someone to pop out at any moment. Lily watched his behavior with a curious eyebrow raised. Snape sat down on the opposite bench and looked at Lily.

"So, how was your summer?" Lily asked politely.

"It was all right. How was yours?"

"It was kind of fun," Lily said with a shrug.

"Oh? Why is that?" Snape asked with a black eyebrow raised.

"Oh, I just got to hang out with Tegan and Jenna a lot," Lily said telling him only part of the truth. She knew if she told him that she got to see James and Sirius, he'd go ballistic and leave. She was trying to close the distance between them, not cause an even bigger rift.

"Oh, sounds fun," he said going quiet.

"It was. So, why didn't I see you?" Lily asked as her green eyes became sad.

Snape grew even paler than his usual paleness. His black eyes left Lily's face and rested on the ceiling. Lily waited patiently.

"You know how my mum is…she was even worse this summer. I have no idea why, but she barely let me out of her sight," he said still not looking at the pretty redhead in front of him.

"I see," Lily said.

She knew he was lying and she wanted to confront him about it, but once again she chided herself. She was trying to fix their friendship.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I wanted to hang out this summer like we usually did," he said as he turned his attention back to her.

"It's all right. You'll just have to make it up to me this year," Lily said with a small smile.

"It's a deal," he said returning her smile.

Snape got up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked puzzled.

"Prefects meeting, aren't you coming?" He asked just as confused.

"Oh, yeah. Wow, I really must not be thinking today," she said getting up.

The two friends walked down the corridor together to the front of the train. On the way, Lily saw her two best friends and told them that she'd visit after the meeting. Once they made it to the front of the train, the door to the meeting was open. They walked in and sat down on a bench close to the door. After several minutes, more Prefects walked in. Lily smiled when she saw Lupin was her partner.

As Remus Lupin walked in, he nodded to her. He knew not to approach her when she was around Snape. He took a seat a few benches away. When it seemed that every Prefect was there, the Head Boy and Girl commenced their speech. Lily sat attentively and soaked up everything they said like a sponge. Once the meeting was over, Snape left quickly and Lily was puzzled by this.

"Hey, Lily," Remus said with a smile.

"Hey, Remus," Lily said smiling back at him.

"I figured you'd get Prefect."

"As I figured you'd get it as well. Excited?" Lily asked.

"Of course. I can already tell you are. Well, I will see you later once we get to Hogsmeade," he said and he was gone, walking down the corridor back to the Marauders' compartment.

Lily slowly walked back towards her own compartment, when she remembered she promised her best friends she'd visit them. She slid open the door and the two girls smiled at her. Lily couldn't help but smile back. The two girls got up and followed Lily down to her compartment.

"So, how was the rest of your summer, Lily?" Tegan asked.

"Uneventful. I didn't see James, if that's what you're getting at," Lily said sticking out her tongue.

"Really mature, Evans," Tegan said laughing.

"I know," Lily said with a smile.

"So, who's the male Prefect?" Jenna asked.

"Remus Lupin," Lily said.

"Should have known," Jenna said.

"That's what I basically said to him when I saw him," Lily said.

The girls continued to talk about their last weeks of summer vacation when the compartment door banged open. The girls looked up in shock to discover James and Sirius standing there. Lily half smiled to herself as she remembered four years ago the very same scene. It was almost like the day they had met.

"Evans!" James called.

"Lily-flower," Sirius said as the two walked into the compartment.

"Hello," Lily said dumbfounded.

The two girls looked from Lily to James and Sirius and back. They smiled and decided to leave.

"Where are you two going?" Lily asked.

"Oh, to visit someone. We'll be back," Jenna called over her shoulder.

"Yeah, what she said," Tegan said following her.

Lily sighed and twirled a ginger lock around her fingers.

"Are we interrupting anything?" James asked innocently.

"No, not at all," Lily said.

"Good. I'd hate to interrupt," James said with a smile.

"What are you talking about? You always like to interrupt things. You did ever since the first day I met you James Potter," Lily said as her green eyes grew wide with accusations.

"What? So not true. The day I met you, I didn't know there were people in that compartment. So, that statement is false," he said holding a hand to his chest as if he were offended.

Lily gave James a doubtful look. Sirius watched the two stare at each other. Hazel to green, green to hazel. Sirius got up and stretched. The two pairs of eyes looked over at him.

"Well, I think I'm going to head back. The trolley should be coming soon and I rather not miss it. James, I'll see you soon and Lily-flower, I'll see you up at the castle," Sirius said kissing Lily on the cheek and nodding at James before leaving.

Lily and James watched him go before they resumed their staring match.

"Date me," James said quickly.

Lily's eyes grew wide. She thought she heard him ask her out, but she couldn't be sure.

"Wh–what did you say?" Lily asked as her voice shook.

"Date me," James repeated slowly.

"Why?" Lily asked swallowing audibly.

"B–because that kiss we shared at my place over the summer, there was something there. You can't deny it. I know you felt it. If you didn't, you wouldn't have snogged me back the way you did. So, what do you say?" He asked running a hand through his hair.

Lily gaped at him. She didn't know what to say. Did she even like him?

"We were drunk," Lily said crossing her arms.

"So? I've snogged loads of drunken girls and usually if they're not into it, they'll let you know. I've gotten slapped plenty of times," James said unconsciously rubbing his cheek.

Lily bit her lip. She tried not to smile. There were bigger things to worry about, especially James' proposition.

"Well, I've never been drunk before. Maybe I just let it happen. Who knows what I was thinking," Lily said quickly.

"So, you didn't like snogging me?" James asked a bit hurt.

"I don't know," Lily said adverting her eyes.

"How do you not know?" James asked.

"Because I wasn't in the right state of mind," Lily said,

"Well, are you in the right state of mind now?" James asked.

"Yes, but I hardly see how that matters," Lily said cocking an eyebrow at him.

Before she knew it, James' soft lips were upon hers. Lily freaked out, but James' hands were holding her face. She had no choice, but to kiss him back. Once again, her body relaxed and she kissed him back. She closed her eyes and let him slip his tongue inside of her mouth. She massaged his with hers. Just as Lily was really getting into it, James pulled back slowly.

Lily looked at him, her pink lips swollen with their vigorous snogging session. James smirked at her.

"So, do you like snogging me or not?" He asked sitting back down.

Lily stared at him. _What the hell was going on?_ She felt she was losing her mind. One minute they argued, the next he was snogging her into ecstasy. She needed time to think about all of this.

"I need time to think about all of this," Lily said.

James smirked at her and nodded.

"Well, as soon as you figure everything out, let me know," he said as he exited the compartment.

All Lily could do was stare at James' retreating back.

**

* * *

**

Lily looked out of the window and discovered it was becoming dark. She quickly changed into her school robes and waited until she could embark. Moments later, the train came to a stop and she quickly exited along with the masses.

She found Remus outside already directing everyone, except the first years, to the proper area. Lily walked up beside him and helped him out. He smiled down at her. She quickly flashed him a smile. She wasn't completely into her job at the moment, especially since her mind was mostly on what transpired on the train.

"Lily, are you ok?" Lupin asked.

Lily's red head shot up and nodded vigorously.

Lupin gave her a dubious look and continued on with their duties. He thought it better to not prod her in front of hundreds of students.

Lily tried her best to make sure she looked like she was at ease. If Remus noticed she wasn't all there, she knew Sirius, Tegan and Jenna would definitely notice. So, Lily smiled, even though her muscles in her face protested.

After they were done with their duties, Lily and Remus caught their own carriage up to the castle. It was a quiet ride and Lily was grateful. She watched as the castle grew closer and closer. Her excitement was starting to bubble over. She pushed everything that happened with James to the back of her mind. She had missed the castle and all of its glory. She sighed audibly as she stared at it.

Remus watched her in amusement. Lily had always been such an animated person. He always thought she was interesting to watch. He'd never admit it to James because James would have his balls in a vice before he could explain his statement.

Lily felt Lupin's eyes upon her. She turned and smiled at the boy sitting in front of her. She liked Lupin because he was quiet and knew when to speak and when not to, unlike his best friend. She admired him. He was one of the top students in their year and he was a rule follower, unlike the rest of the Marauders. Lily didn't understand why such an astute boy would want to surround himself with rule breakers like them. Lily didn't have room to judge. Her best friends weren't law abiding citizens either.

The carriage stopped in front of the steps that led into the atrium. Lupin got out super quick and held out his hand for Lily to step down. She thanked him and they were off. Lily was bouncing on the balls of her feet as they walked inside. She always loved the feast at the start of term and of course watching all of the new students being sorted.

She quickly found a seat next to her friends and waited for the feast to begin. After the sorting, the food appeared in front of the students and Lily sighed. She was finally home. As she ate and chatted with those around her, she couldn't help but feel like someone was watching her. Lily quickly scanned up and down the benches of her house when she finally spotted him.

James Potter was shamelessly staring at her from a few seats down. Lily couldn't help but blush as his hazel eyes, which gleamed in the candle light, never wavered from her face. Lily had a strange sensation run through her body. She couldn't quite put a hand on it, but it made her feel extremely warm all over. She shivered despite the feeling and turned back to her plate.

After the last of the food as disappeared, Dumbledore stood to and quieted the whole hall.

"I hoped you all enjoyed the feast. Now, Prefects please show the students to their appropriate houses. Thank you."

The hall was abuzz with Prefects yelling to the first years to line up. Lily and Remus had their group already lined up and were now maneuvering them through the sea of students. As they walked through the castle, Lily and Remus warned the first years about trick steps, the ghosts, and poltergeists and so on. Lily couldn't help but smile to herself as she looked at the poor frightened first years faces.

They finally made it to Gryffindor tower. She turned to the fat lady and gave the password (Bowtruckle). The door swung open and the first years all marched in. Remus motioned for Lily to go in and he followed. A job well done. The two parted ways and went up to their appropriate rooms.

**

* * *

**

As the weeks passed, Lily avoided James. She didn't know what to do about his proposition. Since she was ignoring him, he decided to bug her more so than usual. Every week, it never failed; there would be a surprise for Lily. It was always something loud, color and annoying. Lily had no idea how James thought up half of the things he did. No matter what he did, no matter how he said it, the answer was always no or I'll think about it.

It seemed that no matter how many times James asked Lily out, it seemed to never bruise his ego. Lily would just roll her eyes at him and except the worst. This weekly game had become popular among the students in the Great Hall. They seemed to be as eager as James was.

Today's ridiculous display consisted of fireworks, a few owls and a howler. Lily turned redder than her hair. James Potter was the very definition of prat. After that morning, she decided to skip breakfast all together.

She took to hiding in the library. He couldn't come up there making noises because he would be banned. Lily would win and she knew that was the last thing he wanted. As she worked on an essay, she heard someone clear their throat. Lily looked up and saw a boy that she had never talked to before.

She had seen this boy around before, but they never talked. He was a Ravenclaw in the same year as she. Lily smiled at him waiting for him to speak.

"H –hi Lily," he said smiling back.

"Hello. Not to be rude, but what is your name? I have seen you around before, but we've never talked," Lily said continuing to smile.

"Oh, I'm sorry! My name is Nathan, but you can call me Nate," he said blushing.

"Well, nice to finally speak to you, Nate. You can sit down if you like," she said gesturing to the chair in front of her.

As Nate sat down, Lily quickly observed his features. He was a nice looking bloke. He had dark brown hair that was tidy, unlike someone else she knew and large green eyes that rivaled her own. He was a few inches taller than she was, but he had an athletic build.

"I've wanted to speak to you ages ago, but I hadn't the nerve," he said blushing again.

"Why? I'm no one to be nervous about. I don't bite," Lily said starting to look over her essay again.

"Well, you're really pretty and smart. I didn't want to make an ass out of myself is all," Nathan said.

"Aw, thanks. See, you're speaking to me now and you're not making an ass out of yourself at all," Lily said slightly blushing.

"I'm glad. I don't want to mess this up."

"Mess what up?" Lily asked looking up at him.

"Well, I wanted to see if you'd ever go on a date with me," Nate said as his blush crept back to his face.

Lily was taken aback. _Was this national try to date Lily Evans month or something? Was this a joke? _

"Did James Potter set you up to do this?" Lily asked as her eyes squinted in suspicion.

"J –James Potter? No, no! I'm doing this out of my own accord," Nate said stammering.

Lily sighed in relief.

"Good because he's been trying to get me to date him for the past few weeks. I was just weary of your question since James is trying so hard. Why does he not get the hint?" Lily said mostly talking to herself.

"I don't know?" Nathan said scratching his head.

"Sorry, I was talking to myself, but I think I will take you up on your offer," Lily said smiling at him.

Nathan instantly brightened and smiled back.

"Brilliant! We will talk about when and where and all of that soon," he said as he stood up.

"Sure will," Lily said watching him.

Nathan gave her a wave and left the library practically jumping for joy.

Lily sat there uninspired to finish her essay. She pushed it aside and lifted her head back and stared at the ceiling. She mentally congratulated herself. This was sure to piss James off, but she also felt guilty. He had asked her, several times, but she agreed to go out with a boy she barely knew. Lily sighed to herself. Why was she so scared of dating James? Maybe because he was arrogant and beautiful, but also an asshole, but an asshole with gorgeous eyes, but he was still bad news.

When they snogged, it almost felt like it was supposed to be. Why was she so scared? She swiftly pushed all thoughts about James Potter out of her mind and quickly collected all of her stuff before the bell rung for her first class. She was determined to avoid James as if her life depended on it.

**

* * *

**

The day was pretty successful, in Lily's eyes. She ignored James Potter every time he tried to speak to her, get her attention or looked at her. It was brilliant.

By dinner, Lily thought it was safe to actually come down to the Great Hall. As usual, everyone stared at her entrance. She thought to herself, _why can't things just go back to normal? _She sat down by her two best friends who greeted her in great surprise.

"Honestly, I didn't think you were going to show," Tegan said spooning mashed potatoes onto her plate.

"Thanks, Teg. I'm glad you have so much faith in me," Lily said sticking out her tongue.

"Well, I'm just speaking the truth."

"Well, she had to show her face sometime. Lily couldn't very well hide in the library for the rest of the year," Jenna said with a shrug.

"At least someone has faith in me," Lily said holding her nose up to Tegan.

Tegan shooed Lily's statement away with her hand.

"So, I'm surprised the whole hall hasn't blown up yet since Potter's trying so hard to court you," Jenna said.

"I don't even want to think about that, honestly," Lily said rolling her eyes.

"I bet, but why won't you go out with him?" Jenna asked.

"Because Jen! Look at him! He may be attractive, but he's still a toerag," Lily said gesturing towards James.

"Well, he's not so much of a toerag anymore. He's matured a lot," Tegan butted in.

"I don't think so. Instead of being a _mature _boy, he does outlandish things to get my attention. Just come up and talk to me like a normal human being," Lily said.

"I think he tried that when we all went to Hogsmeade last year," Jenna said.

"Well, we talked, yes, but he snogged me right after. Who does that?" Lily asked aghast.

"Obviously James Potter," Tegan said.

It was like the devil summoned James himself. The next thing the girls knew, James was tapping Lily on the shoulder. They all slowly turned and stared up at the boy. Lily raised a ginger eyebrow waiting for the reason for the disturbance.

"Sorry to disturb you, but can I speak to you, in private?" He asked.

Lily was once again shocked by James' demeanor. She nodded and he started walking out of the hall. Lily ran to catch up with him. James didn't stop when they were out of the hall, he simply kept walking. He walked up the marble steps and towards a broom closet. Lily looked at the closet and then back to James.

"I thought you wanted to talk?" Lily asked with her arms crossed.

"I do. Oh, you think I'm going to try to snog or shag you here? I'm not ok with rape, Lily. It's just a private place to talk," James said opening the door.

Lily shook her head and headed into the closet. James followed suit and closed the door behind him. The closet was extremely dark and Lily couldn't help but feel a bit anxious. Soon James lit the tip of his wand with a simple _lumos_. Lily could see James standing a foot away from her.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Lily asked as she sat down on an overturned bucket.

"Well, I wanted to ask you why you have been ignoring me all day," James said furrowing a brow.

"You honestly don't know?" Lily asked as her mouth hung open in shock.

"If I knew the answer I obviously wouldn't have you here in a broom closet! In less you wanted to come here for…other reasons," he said smirking.

"Um, no. Anyways, I've been ignoring you all day in hopes that your little 'displays' would calm down. I'm not one for really extraordinary things. If you want my attention, just talk to me, like you are now," Lily said looking up at James who was still standing.

"I see. I'm sorry. Usually most girls are into extravagance," James said running his hands through his hair.

"Well, if you haven't noticed James, I'm not like most girls," Lily said.

"Oh, I've noticed," he said smiling.

Lily didn't say anything, but simply tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Ok, answer me another question," James said calmly.

"Shoot," Lily said.

"Will you go out with me?"

Lily looked up at him with saddened green eyes.

"No," Lily said.

James dropped his head and nodded.

"Why?"

"Because James, we're completely different people."

"Opposites attract, or something like that," James said desperately.

"Not this time."

"Why?"

"I honestly don't know, James. Now, answer me a question," Lily said peering up at the boy in front of her.

James grunted and Lily took that as a sign he was listening.

"Why do you want to date me so badly?"

James lifted his head and looked directly into her eyes.

"You honestly don't know?" James said echoing Lily's words for earlier.

Lily didn't say anything and waited for him to go on.

"There are many reasons that I like you, Lily. The main reasons are because one, you're beautiful. Your hair, your eyes (especially) and everything about you. You're flawless. Two, you're not like any other girl in Hogwarts and I fucking love that about you. I will never in a million years find another girl like you, ever. Three, I feel like trying my best when you're around. Not only for you, but for myself as well. So, you have to see why I have kept asking you out. And you know what Lily Elisabeth Evans, I'm not going to stop until you say yes," James said as his eyes became determined.

Lily just sat there in complete shock. She had never heard anyone say anything like that to her, ever. James Potter had changed and Lily was dumbfounded. She needed to say something. Could she say something?

"I understand if it's a lot to take in, but you needed to know. So, you better get used to me. I'll tone down everything, but I refuse to be without you," James said as he extinguished the flame at the tip of his wand with a simple _nox _and opened the door.

Lily saw his face and saw how calm, determined and beautiful it was. She needed to go, now. This was all so much. Lily slowly got up and walked past James. He didn't say anything else to her. He simply let her go.

**

* * *

**

Later…

Lily's mind was buzzing with everything James said to her as she sat there and tried to concentrate on her homework. To no avail, she couldn't sit there. She needed to go on a walk or something. She looked at the time and saw that it was past curfew. Lily didn't care, she need fresh air.

She went up to her dorm, grabbed her cloak and headed out of the portrait hole. She walked quickly as she could as she walked down the steps to the entrance. Before she could reach the last flight of steps, she bumped into someone. Lily fell on her bum and looked up.

"I'm so sorry!" The male voice said.

"It's all right. I wasn't watching where I was going. Hold on, Nate, is that you?" Lily asked.

"It is," he said holding out his hand for her to take.

Lily took it and stood up.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Lily asked.

"I could ask you the same thing, but you're a Prefect so it's kind of expected," Nate shrugged.

"That's true, but I'm not going to dock points from you, I'm just curious," she said.

"Well, I couldn't really sleep, so when I can't I wander around the castle until I exhaust myself," he said.

"That's terribly dangerous," Lily said.

"It is, but also thrilling. Care to walk with me?" Nate asked.

"Sure. I was heading out to walk anyways, but I guess it'd be a lot safer to walk around the castle. And if we get caught, I could always say you're with me," Lily said.

Nathan smiled at Lily and they took off. They walked around for at least two hours. They talked about everything and anything that came to their minds. Lily enjoyed talking to Nathan. His morals, beliefs and ideals were very similar to her own. He made her laugh most of the time that they walked around.

They stopped at Gyffindor tower. Lily smiled at him.

"I think it'd be better if I dropped you off at your house," Lily protested.

"One, we're already here and two, I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself," he teased.

"Still," Nate cut her off.

"I'll be fine, Lily. I'm touched you worry about my safety, but I'll be ok. Promise," he said.

"All right, all right, fine," she finally gave in.

"So, was this an unconventional date?" Nate said as his green eyes twinkled in the moonlight.

"I guess it could be," Lily said laughing.

"Well, I'm glad I bumped into you then," he said.

"Me too," Lily said.

They stood there for a moment longer, and then Nate closed the gap and kissed her cheek. Lily blushed in an instant.

"I'll see you," he said.

Lily nodded and watched as he walked away heading to his own house. Lily stammered the password and walked in. As she was swooning in her own world, she didn't notice that someone was sitting on the couch. Before she walked past the couch, she finally noticed.

"James, what are you doing down here?" Lily asked.

"Hm? Oh, your friends were worried when they discovered you weren't in your dorm. I volunteered to stay up and see if you turned up," he said watching the fire.

"Well, here I am," Lily said opening her arms.

"I see that. Did you have _fun_?" James asked.

"What? I mean, as much fun as you could walking around the castle," Lily shrugged.

"Evans, stop lying to me. I know that you were walking around the castle with Nathan Connelly," James said finally looking at her.

"But how could you know? I didn't see you out in the halls or anything. And so what if I was?" Lily asked defensively.

"I have my ways. And you can do what you wish, Evans. I'm just saying," James said getting up from the couch and walking past her.

"What do you mean 'you have your ways'?" Lily asked.

"Don't worry about it. Goodnight, Lily," James said heading up the staircase to his dorm.

Lily watched him retreat to his dorm before she did the same. She swore that James Potter would be the death of her, she just knew it.

**

* * *

**

The next three weeks past with Lily seeing more and more of Nathan Connelly. Lily supposed they were dating. She didn't quite know considering neither one of them asked the other out formally. _Did people ask each other out formally at their age_?

Lily saw that James had acquired someone of his own. Lily didn't know how she felt about this. Part of her was happy because she was happy with someone else and part of her felt sick about the whole idea. She had no idea why. She knew she didn't have any feelings for James. That would be one of the most absurd things of her life.

But this new girl that James was practically dry humping at breakfast wasn't even that cute. She was blond, with chocolate brown eyes, extremely tan with a large chest. Men were pigs, Lily decided. She quickly averted her eyes to the whole snogging session. Tegan and Jenna watched her as she would (very) often look down the table at the two and scrunch her nose.

"Honestly, Lils, if you don't like to see James' PDA, why do you continue to stare at them?" Tegan asked.

"I don't know. It's like a train wreck, you can't keep your eyes from looking at it," Lily answered.

"I guess, but I'm sure you're desensitized as the rest of us are, so I'm sure you can look away in less there's another reason," Jenna chimed in.

"What other reason could there be?" Lily asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well, that you have feelings for James," Jenna said.

"Absurd! Completely absurd! You're both barking mad. Plus, I'm happy with Nate. He actually gets me," Lily said.

Tegan and Jenna snorted.

"What?" Lily asked.

"Nothing," the two girls said in unison.

Lily looked at the two of them skeptically and then turned back to her breakfast as she sneakily stole glances at James and his bimbo.

Lily didn't know why she couldn't stop watching the two of them. She wanted to before she threw up her breakfast, but she couldn't stop. Every so often she would see James look over at her as his hazel eyes turned mischievous. Lily felt herself grow angry. She couldn't deal with much more of this. She gathered her things and told her mates that she was heading to the library.

**

* * *

**

Lily relaxed as she sat down at her favorite table. She was glad that James and his _girlfriend _were out of her sight. She was feeling nauseous just thinking about it. So she stopped thinking about it and opened one of her old muggle books, _Gone with the Wind_.

"Hi, Lily," she heard from above her book.

She set her book down and saw her oldest friend standing in front of her.

"Hello, Sev," Lily said.

"Why aren't you down at breakfast?" He asked as his black brows creased together.

"Oh, I was feeling a bit nauseous," Lily said with a small smile.

"Are you all right?" He asked not clearly getting her meaning.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. So, how have you been?" Lily asked.

"Oh, I've been fine," he said sitting down.

"That's good. I haven't really seen you around," Lily said sadly.

"I know, I'm sorry. I've just been busy with classes and studying for O.W.L.s," he said with a shrug.

"Understandable," Lily said.

"Mmm. So, can I ask you a question?" Severus asked.

_Oh, no. More questions._

"Sure," Lily said.

"Well, are you dating that Nate fellow from Ravenclaw?" Snape asked.

"I believe so," Lily said with a shrug.

"I see," Snape said.

"Mhmm," Lily said starting to read her book again.

They were both quiet. The air around them seemed to stand still. Lily knew that Sev didn't quite approve, but part of her didn't care. She could go out with whomever she wanted to. So she continued to read her book as Snape stewed.

"Well, good for you then. I should probably go so that I can make it to my class," he said getting up.

"The bell hasn't even rung yet," Lily said.

But as she said it, the bell began to ring. _How convenient. _

"Well, see you then," Lily said.

"Uh, yeah, see you," Snape said as he zoomed out of the library.

Lily sat there for a moment. She thought about how this was the second boy to act strange towards her. She seemed to have no luck with them lately, but then she remembered Nate and it brought a smile to her face. At least she had a tiny bit of luck.

**

* * *

**

That evening, Nate asked Lily if she would meet him outside by the lake. She obliged because she loved the grounds at night, especially nights like tonight. The moon was full and beautiful.

As Lily made her way down to the grounds, she admired the moon. She always loved nature as a kid and it just stuck with her. The sun and moon were probably her favorite things, ever. They were so mysterious and beautiful. She quickly walked down to the lake. She sat down by the tree that was popular amongst everyone when they were lounging at the lake.

Lily looked out over the black lake. It seemed so peaceful out there. It was completely still. The moon reflected off of it and she couldn't help but smile to herself. Lily wished she could live here, at Hogwarts, for the rest of her life. She'd really miss this place.

As she admired the nature around her, she saw a large stag and a huge dog, she thought, walking over to the other side of the lake. She sat completely still. She didn't want to scare them away. She was completely enthralled by them. The great silver stag dipped its graceful head and took a drink from the lake. The dog, or wolf (Lily couldn't tell since it was so large), sat patiently next to it and wagged its tail. Lily thought this was a bit bizarre. She just couldn't take her eyes off of the two of them.

As the two animals stood there, she thought she saw another animal join them. She couldn't quite tell because it was quite tiny compared to the other two beasts. After a few minutes of watching, another animal emerged. A very large and ferocious animal. She watched as the stag and dog charged at it. Lily clapped a hand to her mouth as she watched in horror.

She discovered the newest animal to appear to be a werewolf. She had always read about them, but never had she ever seen one. She feared for the other animals that were running straight towards it. She wanted to do something to help them, but she didn't know what. Lily also didn't want the werewolf coming after her either.

So she sat there in the shadow of the tree, fear gripping her as she watched these animals _playing _with the werewolf. Lily didn't know if she wanted to snort in laughter or scream in horror. As if the last few weeks hadn't been bad enough, she had to witness such a sight.

After the werewolf seemed to sulk off into the forest, she saw the dog and stag slowly walk towards the area she was sitting at. Lily didn't know what to do. She didn't want to bolt out of there and scare them away and possibly attract the werewolf back there. So she scooted closer to the tree, hoping that the shadows would hide her.

The stag and dog stood a meter away from her. As she looked a bit closer, she saw a tiny little rat sitting upon the dog's head. Lily almost let out a snort of laughter. It was such a strange sight. As she continued to watch she saw the three animals begin to shudder in a weird way. Lily thought they had been hurt by the werewolf, but she saw something else.

She saw three boys standing there completely naked. Lily wanted to advert her eyes, but she couldn't. The three boys picked up their clothes that they must have left by the lake and put them on. When the boys turned around, Lily couldn't believe her eyes. James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were standing there. James & Sirius had some explaining to do.

* * *

**A/N: **AND DONE! Gosh, for some reason this chapter gave me a bit of difficulty, but all-in-all, I think it came out pretty good. How about almost 17 pages of chapter! Getting longer and longer every time, it seems. So far, this is my favorite chapter (except the epilogue. I wrote a bit of it and it's already beautiful). A lot more drama to come in the second half of 5th year, so don't worry. Also, I don't think this fic won't be that long. I'm sorry. It all depends. I seem to always have an outline of my fics and then (mostly) change my mind on things. So we'll see! All right, enough gabbing. I'm going to go tweak this a bit and then start on chapter 6.

Reviews are truly and completely amazing. Thanks to all who have reviewed, means a lot to me.


	6. Fifth year, part two

**Author's note: **Hello! I haven't done anything productive today. I should be writing a stupid instruction manual for class, but alas! I cannot bring myself to do it. So, I am writing this instead. It's being productive, right? Exactly. Now, on with the chapter.

**Disclaimer: **Jo is a deity. (Plus, she's writing a new book. SO HAPPY)

* * *

**Chapter six**

**Fifth year, Part two**

**Shit hits the fan**

After seeing what she saw the other night, Lily didn't _quite_ care (she still cared, though) that her boyfriend didn't meet her outside like he said he would. She still couldn't get over what she saw. She didn't even tell Tegan and Jenna for fear that they make think she's more cracked than they thought. So, she kept this little secret to herself until she found the right time to speak to Sirius and James.

Every time Lily would try to talk to either boy, they were around Peter, Remus wasn't around because he was sick, or they had random girls fawning over them. This was proving to be a lot more difficult than she thought. She knew there had to be some way to corner them, at least one of them. Also, she needed to ask her boyfriend why he hadn't met her outside like he said he would. That seemed a lot more reasonable at the time than running after James and Sirius.

Lily walked down to the Great Hall with her two best friends. They didn't really question why Lily had been so quiet all day. They figured she'd tell them when she wanted. They knew not to bug her too much when she had a problem. The last time they tried, it was extremely ugly. A very livid Lily screamed and threw hexes at them until they ducked for cover and said they'd stop asking her what was wrong. So, they were ok with waiting for Lily to tell them.

As they entered the great hall, Lily's red head instantly popped up and started looking around for Nathan. She spotted him sitting in the middle of the Ravenclaw table, as he usually did. Lily told her friends she'd be right back and scurried over to his table.

When he saw that Lily had made her way over to him, he smiled up at her. Lily didn't return the smile. Nate's smile instantly fell from his face. Lily's green eyes blazed at him as she crossed her arms.

"So, I have some explaining to do," Nate said looking at her with his green eyes.

"Yes you do," Lily said acidly.

"First off, I'm sorry. Second, as I was sneaking out, Filch saw me. I have detention for the next week. And third, I'm sorry, again," Nathan said as his green eyes pleaded with her.

"I see. Well, you better make it up to me," Lily said as her features slightly softening.

"Of course I will," Nate said caressing her face.

Lily blushed slightly and smiled back at him.

"Well, I will see you later, ok?" She said getting up.

Nate nodded and turned back to his table.

Lily sighed with relief. One down, two more to go. She looked down the table as she made her way back over to her usual spot. She saw that Sirius was excusing himself from the table. Lily lit up with glee. This was finally her chance. As Sirius walked by her, she instantly followed. He didn't seem to hear her, so she ran to walk by him.

He turned his head to see her. She smiled at him, but he didn't return it. Something had to be terribly wrong for Sirius not to return her smile. This wasn't going to be easy.

As they made their way out of the Great Hall, Sirius and Lily didn't say anything to one another. He hadn't told her to fuck off or to go away, so maybe things wouldn't be so bad. Sirius was about to ascend the stairs when he turned and looked at Lily. She always ran into him as he abruptly stopped.

"Why are you following me, Lily?" Sirius asked as his voice became cold.

Lily was taken aback. One, he never called her just Lily. The last time he did was in their second year because he came up with his clever nickname for her. Two, he was never bitchy with her in less she did something to him or James. And he had been nice to her even though she was dating someone else. What was going on?

"I–I wanted to talk to you, Sir," Lily said stammering.

"Well, I can't right now. I have somewhere to be," Sirius said tapping his foot.

"Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you," Lily said biting her lip.

Sirius seemed to snap out of his spell and looked at her with his dark gray eyes.

"I'm sorry Lily-Flower. I didn't mean to snap at you. I–I'm just stressed, I guess. Whatever you want to talk about, we will later, ok?" Sirius asked quietly.

Lily nodded her head. She was still confused by his actions, but she'd question it later, before they talked about what was really on her mind.

With that, Sirius gave her a small smile and turned on his heel and ran up the stairs. Lily walked back into the Great Hall and sat back down. Tegan and Jenna gave Lily pointed looks. She shook her head to tell them she didn't want to talk about it. The two girls went back to talking amongst themselves and eating the rest of their meal. Lily would tell them a much edited story once she knew what the hell was going on.

Lily glanced down the table every couple of seconds. She was waiting for James to leave so that she could pounce on the opportunity. She silently groaned to herself. She prayed to whatever would hear her to make James Potter leave the table. After she almost gave up on there being a higher being, James got up from the table. Lily thanked whoever answered her and stood up as James made his way past her.

"James!" Lily called from a few feet behind him.

James stopped and slowly turned around. He raised a black eyebrow as his face was set into an emotionless mask. Lily swallowed audibly and slowly walked towards him. Lily gave him a small smile. James didn't return it, but continued to stare at her with the same expressionless look.

"Can we go somewhere private to talk?" Lily asked.

"What do you want to talk about?" James asked quietly.

"I rather discuss the subject in private," Lily said sternly.

"Oh, is it that embarrassing?" James asked with a smirk.

"Not for me," Lily said shrugging.

James sighed and started walking out of the hall. Lily took this as a sign that he was going to give her the chance to talk. She darted after him and walked by his side as they headed towards the same closest as the time they talked about his feelings. Lily felt an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach.

James opened the door and let Lily walk inside first before he walked in himself and shut the door. Lily and James both lit the wands and sat down on opposite sides of the tiny closet. James crossed his arms as he waited as Lily smoothed her skirt and crossed her legs.

"So, what do you want to talk to me about?" James asked sounding bored.

Lily bit her lip. This was the opportune moment, why wasn't she blurting everything out? Did she even know how to talk to him about this? What should she say? _Oh, last night I was outside waiting on Nathan and I happened to see you, Sirius and Peter change back from being animals. I never knew you were an __Animagus._ Smooth, Lily.

"Well, I'm waiting," James called.

"Sorry. I'm sorry ok? This is a rather weird subject matter and I frankly don't know how to bring it up properly," Lily said flustered.

"It can't be that bad. Now out with it, Evans," James said growing impatient.

"All right, but I warned you," Lily said.

James gestured for her to continue.

"Well, I was outside on the grounds last night and I saw something peculiar," Lily began. She noticed James' eyes became round and he became pale. She continued, "I was sitting by the tree next to the lake. You know, the one everyone sits by when during the last few weeks of school? Well, I was outside waiting for someone when I saw four animals 'playing' together. It was so strange. I've never seen animals of such unusual breed hanging around each other. As I watched, I was so scared that three of the animals would be attacked by the werewolf, but it seemed that this was natural to them. It seemed that these animals were mates. It seemed that this was a normal thing for them to do. I was in such shock and awe. It was endearing and frightening at the same time, but I couldn't stop watching. After the three animals seemed to drive the beast away, they celebrated and walked towards the very spot I was sitting. So, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to scare them off by jumping up and running and I was scared that the werewolf may come back. So, I folded myself as small as I possibly could and I hid in the shadow of the tree. I simply sat there and waited to see what these animals were going to do. You could imagine the shock I felt when I discovered them to be three boys, especially three boys I knew."

The closet was very quiet after Lily finished. She noticed James was deathly pale and wide-eyed. Lily bit her lip. She was waiting on him to say something, anything.

"I'm not appalled or anything. I just want to know when, how, why? Does anyone else know except you three? Does Remus know?" Lily asked in quick succession.

James seemed to finally come to. He stared at her for awhile and then seemed to finally remember his mouth actually worked.

"Well, this is a bit of a shocker," James stated," How? Well, that's a complicated story and so is the when and why."

"I have time. It's not like I have too much to really do, Potter," Lily said placing her hands delicately on her lap.

James' hand automatically started ruffling his hair, but this time he was quite violent about it. Lily watched him as she continued to bite her bottom lip.

"How- I'm not an Animagus by birth nor is Sirius or Peter, so we use very complicated magic. It's not all that pleasant when we change, either. When- we learned in our second year. Why- I don't think I can tell you that without it bringing a whole slew of problems. Remus knows, he knows very well. No one else knows except you, so congrats," James said holding up his hands in salute.

Lily was dumbstruck by this information. No one else knew? Of course they wouldn't know, the school would be in an uproar about it. Even though she saw the whole thing in front of her eyes, it was still hard for her to take in.

"It's a lot to take in, James. I still can't believe what I saw," Lily said flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Well, I can imagine," James said flatly.

"Are you mad?" Lily asked.

"I'm mad we were so careless. I should have known someone could have possibly found out sooner or later. I'm not mad at you as long as you don't tell _anyone_. And I mean _anyone_! I'm talking about not even telling your mates," James said sternly.

"I wouldn't dream of it. Even after seeing all that I saw last night, I haven't spoken to anyone about it," Lily said honestly.

James nodded and said," Why were you outside anyways?"

"I was supposed to meet someone out there," Lily said with a shrug.

"Who?"

"Does it matter? They didn't end up meeting me out there anyways because they got caught trying to sneak out," Lily said.

"It does matter!" James snarled.

"Why?" Lily asked squinting her eyes at him.

"B–because, Lily!"

"That's not even a proper explanation," Lily said getting flustered.

"Just tell me who the hell you were supposed to meet!" James yelled.

"If you don't keep quiet James Potter, someone will hear us. And why the bloody hell does it matter to you James!" Lily yelled back.

"You're telling me to be quiet when you're yelling back at me? You fucking know why it matters Lily!" James bellowed.

"Are you serious! You're using your feelings to get answers out of me?" Lily asked.

"Well, I'm sorry! It was safe out there last night and you know I care and I don't want anything to happen to you! If Nate lured you out there and you happened to get hurt, I don't know what I'd do with myself. I'd probably kill Nathan Connelly for being so irresponsible," James finished with a huff.

Lily saw that he was visibly red as his chest was heaving. She had really worked him up. Granted, it really wasn't any of his business who she was meeting out there last night, but he did have a point. Nate had lured her out there and if she wasn't careful, she could have really got hurt.

"It was Nate who asked me to meet him out there. You're right, I could have gotten hurt. I'm sorry, but for the record, I didn't know there was a werewolf out there. And now that I know, I won't go out on full moons at night, ok?" Lily said softly.

James nodded and slowly walked over to her. As he drew nearer, Lily felt her stomach doing summersaults. Now that she knew how he really felt, she kind of felt awkward around him for the mere fact that his feelings were unrequited. She bit her lip as he stopped a few feet away from her. James looked at her as the light from their wands reflected in his glasses. Lily looked back at him not knowing what to do.

"Lily, I don't know what I would have done if one of us hurt you. Just thinking about it now is putting knots in my stomach. I care about you too much for letting anything like that happen to you. So, promise me you won't go outside when there's a full moon," James said sternly.

"I promise. Do you go out there every full moon?" Lily asked quietly.

"We do," James said nodding.

"Why? You don't want me to get hurt, but you put yourself in constant danger. How is that fair?"

"Lils, life isn't fair," James said with a small smile.

"I know that, but I don't want you getting hurt either! Why do you do it?" Lily asked again.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you that. Let's just say, it's a favor," James said as he smiled at her again.

Lily gave him a disappointed look. James' right hand slowly came up to eye level. Lily watched as his hand came in contact with her cheek. His cool hands caressed her cheek that was still warm from her blush due to her anger. As much as Lily wanted to resist, the contact felt amazing to her. It was like a surge of electricity came over her as he continued to touch her. It was almost intoxicating.

She felt James walk nearer to her. She opened her eyes. She hadn't realized she closed them. He was so close to her now. Lily could feel his body heat radiating off of his body. Lily sighed quietly as she closed her eyes again. This was becoming dangerous –no it was already dangerous. Why couldn't she resist him?

She then felt James' warm mouth crash onto hers. It was an overload to the senses. James' mouth became needy and impatient. His tongue nipped at her bottom lip. Lily parted her mouth a bit as James' tongue launched into her mouth. Their tongues danced as James' hand explored her body for the first time. His hands played with her hair and roamed from there. Lily's hands hesitantly moved to James' hair. Something she saw him do many times, she finally got to do for herself.

James backed her into a wall and continued the assault to her senses. It seemed as if Lily's need was almost as large as James'. She didn't know what came over her. She just knew that this felt amazing. She hadn't even kissed her boyfriend yet and here she was snogging the boy that happened to have feelings for her. What was she doing? Lily came to her senses and gently pushed James back.

"I –I'm sorry, but this is wrong," Lily said shakily.

"But it doesn't feel wrong, I know you felt it, too," James said as he breathed hard.

"Mmm, maybe, but I do have a b–boyfriend," Lily stammered also breathing heavily.

"Right," James said as his face fell.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let this go on," Lily said biting her lip.

"Right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you," James said.

Lily looked at James and saw how down he was. She wanted to go to him and hug him, but she knew it'd only make things worse. So she simply walked out without another word. She wanted to cry. Her head was so confused. She knew one thing though, she had to tell Nathan.

**

* * *

**

Lily walked slowly up to Gryffindor Tower. She had so much on her mind it was insane. One, she needed to tell Nate and she knew that there was no excuse in the world to salvage their relationship. Two, kissing and caressing James felt way too good. It felt so right. Three, was she developing feelings for James? Lily shook her head and discovered that she was standing in front of the Fat Lady. She quickly gave the password and ran up the stairs to her dorm.

Lily quickly jumped to her bed and buried her head under the pillows on her bed. She wished the floor would swallow her up. She thought nothing could be any worse than this. Lily turned over and lay on her back. When did her life become so filled with drama?

"Are you ok, Lily?" She heard a voice ask.

Lily quickly sat up and saw a small girl sitting on her bed directly in front of her. Lily looked over at the girl. She knew her of course. They had been living in the same dorm for five years now, but she didn't talk to her that much.

"I'm fine, Mary," Lily said with a small smile she hoped looked genuine.

"Are you sure? You don't look all right," Mary MacDonald said smiling back.

"I'm sure I'll be all right. Thank you for your concern," Lily said smiling more genuinely at her.

Mary nodded her great mane of black hair and went back to her work.

Lily suddenly jumped off of her bed and darted for the bathroom. Lily decided to shower. Maybe it would clear her mind. Maybe it would relax her. She hoped against hope it would. After she finished showering, Lily did feel a little better. Not completely how she wished she felt, but it was a start.

Lily came back into the dorm and sat down on her bed. She grabbed her brush and brushed out her long red hair. It was a relaxing process. Lily looked at the clock and saw that it was only 7 o'clock. Lily felt exhausted even though it was still early. Lily decided to go to bed anyways. She hoped tomorrow would be a better day minus having to face Nate and also James. Such is life.

**

* * *

**

Today was the day. As much as Lily didn't want to do it, she knew she must. As she sat at the table with her mates, she seemed as if she couldn't concentrate. All Lily could do was play with her food.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Jenna asked.

"Hm? Oh, nothing really," Lily answered not looking up at them.

"Liar. You know you're terrible at it," Tegan butted in.

"I know and I'm not trying to lie to you," Lily said looking at them finally.

"I see. Then what's your problem?" Tegan asked.

"I really don't want to talk about it. At least not right now," Lily said going back to stabbing at her food.

"All right, but if you need to talk, we're here," Jenna said.

Lily nodded and mustered a small smile.

As Lily sat there and stewed, her head snapped up. Where was James? She looked up and down the table, but there was no sign of him. Lily got up and walked down the table to ask Sirius. She tapped him on the shoulder, his gray eyes shining up at her as he turned to look at her.

"Hey Lily-Flower," Sirius said smiling at her.

"Hey," she said.

"I'm sorry we couldn't talk last night, but, uh, James filled me in," Sirius said as his smile faltered.

"It's all right. I just needed to talk to one of you. Speaking of James, where is he?" Lily asked.

"Um, last time I saw James he was walking out towards the grounds. Why?" Sirius asked.

"I was just curious. That's all," Lily said.

"Did you want a repeat performance of last night?" Sirius asked with a wink.

Lily's mouth opened in shock. She instantly turned red from embarrassment and anger.

"No, I do not. With yesterday's performance it has really brought a lot of shit into my life," Lily said flustered.

"I see. Well, you could have said no at any time, Lily-Flower," Sirius said looking her directly in the eye.

Lily hated when he did this. It was like he x-rayed her soul. He knew more things about her than she realized. This was a good thing and a bad thing. Lily sighed.

"I know, but it was as if I couldn't," Lily confessed.

"Hmm, interesting," Sirius said as his eyes twinkled knowingly at her.

Lily hated that look as well. Sirius knew more than she had let on.

"I hate that look, Sirius!" Lily said punching him in the arm.

"Why?" Sirius asked with a smirk on his lips.

"You know why," Lily said quietly.

"Why? Because I know more than you do? Because I know more about your life through observations and stories I hear from James?"

Lily didn't say anything; she simply crossed her arms and walked away. He didn't know anything, she swore to herself.

Just as Lily walked back to her seat, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She turned around and discovered it to be the last person she wanted to see. Mainly because she didn't want to have a certain talk.

"Hey," Nate said smiling down at her.

"H –hi," Lily said.

"Are you ok?" Nate asked as his face became concerned.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. How are you?" Lily asked trying to sound more cheerful.

"I'm all right. I was wondering if you'd accompany me with a midnight stroll around the castle tonight," he asked with a hopeful smile.

"Uh, sure, Nate," Lily said slowly.

"Excellent! I'll see you around 11. I'll meet you in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady," Nate said as he kissed her cheek.

Lily nodded as her cheeks turned red. She quickly walked to her seat and sat down without another word. This would be it, she could do it. She could break Nathan Connelly's heart. Could she?

**

* * *

**

James grabbed his broom as he headed out of the locker room. He really needed to clear his mind. He really needed to stop thinking about Lily Evans. It was just so hard though. Lily was constantly on his mind.

As James kicked off from the ground, the cool air whipped through his hair. No matter the weather, the sensation always felt amazing on his skin and hair. James closed his eyes for a few minutes as he flew straight up. The feeling of fear that lay in the pit of his stomach was thrilling. He opened his hazel eyes and stopped his climbing. He looked around and discovered he was higher than the goal posts. He looked at the field and the castle and just felt that he was so extremely small. He never really realized it before.

As James sat there, he gently turned his broom around and spiraled down towards the stands. He kept his eyes open the whole time. As he got closer and closer, the fear and adrenaline mixed as he pulled up at the last second. The only other place he felt in such danger and also so safe was when he was with Lily.

He felt so reckless around her because things with them were never planned. They would be cordial one moment, arguing the next or snogging each other's faces off. Also, he felt extremely safe with her. She made him want to strive to be a better person. He wanted to protect her from anything and everything, and mostly himself, especially himself.

Thinking back to yesterday about how she was so close to being in danger, it really shook him. He didn't ever want her to be that close to him and the Marauders again, especially when they were in their animal forms. He didn't ever want to hurt Lily, nor did he want anyone else to.

In a way, he was hurting her. He had hurt her. He knew she didn't say no when they were snogging last night, but he knew she had a boyfriend. Now, she had to tell Nate and possibly break up. He was ruining her happiness, as she was ruining his.

As much as they snogged, James thought Lily felt _something _for him. Lily wasn't a slag. She wouldn't just snog him on a whim just because he fancied her and he wanted to snog her and caress her, would she? James shook his head, Lily wasn't like that. She was a great girl who was sort of prude-ish (but not when he was involved), but that's what he liked about her. She wasn't willing to snog and fuck someone randomly in less she had feelings for them. So did that mean that she had feelings for him? Every time James would ask her out, she would always decline or tell him she'd think about it. It was really hurting him, even though no one knew this except the Marauders.

As he promised to her that he wouldn't give up. And he wasn't going to. For both of their sanities, he would back off a bit. Maybe that was the key. He'd still be waiting on the sidelines for her, but he wouldn't constantly be in her face. Maybe that's what he needed to do.

After James came to his decision, he kept doing complicated tricks in the air just to relax himself a bit more. He did feel a bit freer, lighter. He let himself smile as he landed on the ground. He quickly walked into the locker room and showered himself off. James felt completely refreshed and decided he could face whatever was coming his way.

**

* * *

**

Lily waited outside of the portrait of the Fat Lady nervously. Her palms were sweating, she couldn't stand still and she was starting to get a headache. _Perfect._ Lily almost jumped out of her skin when she heard Nate call her name.

"Hey Lily," Nate beamed.

"H–hi N–Nate," Lily stammered.

"Are you ok, Lily? You look a bit pale," Nate said as his eyebrows pulled into a crease.

"I'm fine. I have just a bit of a headache," Lily said brushing it off like it was nothing.

"If you don't feel well, we can always take a walk another day," Nate said rubbing her back.

"Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it," Lily said with an awkward smile.

"All right, where do you want to walk to?" Nate asked.

"We really didn't plan it out last time, we just kind of walked," Lily said with a shrug.

Nate nodded and motioned for them to walk.

As they walked, Nate's hand kept brushing against Lily's. Every time it brushed her hand, Lily felt worse and worse. She was glad he couldn't read her mind. After a few minutes of light chit chat, Nate finally held Lily's hand. It took everything in her not to take her hand back. She already felt horrible about what happened, but by him holding onto her hand it made it feel even worse. She didn't deserve his affection.

Lily felt her face heat up. She knew she had to tell him soon before things got anymore out of hand. Nate grew quiet suddenly. He squeezed Lily's hand. Lily's head quickly snapped up to his.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Nate asked again.

Lily merely shook her head. Nate stopped walking, making Lily trip over her feet.

"Maybe we should sit down," Lily said not looking at him.

"Is it something bad? Did I do something wrong?" Nate asked panic stricken.

"No, of course you didn't do anything wrong, Nate. It –it's my fault," Lily said quietly.

"What's your fault? Lily, you're starting to scare me," Nate said scooting closer to her.

"I –I'm sorry," Lily said as her courage finally left her.

Lily started to have a panic attack causing tears to well up in her eyes. Nate noticed and instantly scooted closer to her. He put an arm around her and rubbed her back.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it isn't that bad. You can tell me, Lil," Nate said urgently.

Lily shook her head. "It is really bad. And I'm terribly sorry! I didn't mean for it to happen. I know it's such a lame excuse. I know people use it all the time," Lily said dissolving back into tears.

"Lily, it's not a lame excuse. Just tell me what happened," Nate said.

"I –I snogged James," Lily said quietly, so quiet Nate had to strain to hear her.

Nate stopped rubbing Lily's arm. He had frozen. Lily peeked at him through her hair that was currently covering her wet, red face. She saw his look of pure shock. Then it slowly went from realization to anger. Lily quickly looked away. She couldn't handle seeing him like this. She felt completely like shit.

"Why?" He asked simply.

"W –what?" Lily was taken aback.

"Why'd you do it?" He asked through his teeth.

"We were arguing and h –he kissed me and I didn't stop him. I wanted to so badly, but I –I don't know why I couldn't. I'm not asking for your forgiveness and I'm beyond sorry. You have no idea. I thought it was better to tell you now v –versus not at all," Lily finished with a sob.

"Well, thanks for at least telling me, but I should have known something was up. James Potter was after you and I should have known. It was pretty stupid on my part. I should have figured you fancied him in some way. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you," Nate said starting to stand up.

"That's not true! You were good enough for me. I don't fancy James Potter! I never have and never will," Lily said looking up at him.

"Could have fooled me, Lil. You snogged him for Pete's sake! If I were good enough, you would have pushed him away or you wouldn't have done it at all. I'm not going to argue about this anymore. What's done is done and no one can take it back," Nate said starting to walk away.

"Nate, I'm still so sorry," Lily whispered after him.

He didn't turn back, he just kept walking.

Lily drew her knees to her chest and buried her head in them. She sobbed, a very painful, heartbreaking sob. Who was she becoming? Some slag who snogged James Potter every time they argued. James Potter was going to be the death of her. She didn't even have control of her own actions when she was around him. It was as if he infected her with some sort of madness.

As she sobbed in the dark corner of the 6th floor, Lily heard approaching footsteps. She looked around wondering where she could hide or otherwise run to so whoever it was didn't see her. A part of her welcomed the person to discover her so she could get caught and serve some sort of punishment. Lily looked up as the footsteps grew closer. When she heard them turn the corner in the current corridor she was residing in, she didn't see anyone.

Lily rubbed her red eyes and looked around. Had she imagined it? She couldn't have. She HAD heard someone coming towards her. As she looked around the corridor once more, something caught her eye. It was a disembodied hand. The hand was slowly revealed to be connected to an actually person. Lily sighed in relief.

"I came to look for you to see if you were all right," James said quietly.

"Well, I'm not all right," Lily said gesturing to her tear-stained face.

"I can see that and I'm terribly sorry," James said running his hand through his hair.

"I'm sure," Lily bit back.

"I am! Lily, you have to believe me. I know what I did was wrong and I know you didn't say no or pull back, so we're both at fault. I should have known not to get close to you because I can't help myself around you. I'm sorry," James said lowering his head.

"It's whatever, James. Nate and I are over and I'm sure you're over the moon about that," Lily said with a bitter laugh.

"Lily, I'm sorry about that. I only want you to be happy, with or without me. I didn't mean for this to happen. Like I said, I can't help myself when I'm around you," James said again.

"Well, it's bloody hard for me to resist you either. I don't fucking know why, either. It's like you cast a spell on me and I just can't resist," Lily said looking down at her feet.

"What?" James asked.

"You heard me, James. I'm not repeating myself. I don't know what it is! Why do you do this to me?" Lily asked angrily.

"I don't do anything to you, Lily," James said.

"You have to! Why else would I be snogging you even when my mind was screaming for me to stop?" Lily asked bewildered.

"I don't know. I swear, I don't do anything to you," James said defensively.

"I'm sure. The famous James Potter gets what he wants," Lily said standing up abruptly.

"That's not true! If it were, I'd have you long before any of this shit happened!" James said fuming.

Lily looked over her shoulder at him.

"At any rate, James, you'll never have me. You've just been ruining my life. I just can't deal with you right now," Lily said running off in the direction of their dorms.

James stood there staring at the spot where Lily had been standing second ago. He was right; he had been ruining her life. As of today, James plan was to go into action. He was going to back out of Lily Evan's life.

**

* * *

**

Months have passed. James hadn't spoken to Lily since that night and nor has she spoken to him. Every time James got a glimpse of her, she'd instantly turn away. He couldn't help but look at her. She was still very integrated in his thoughts even if they weren't on speaking terms. It was hard for him to be so close to her, but yet so far away.

The distance of Lily Evans in James' life took a toll on him. The other Marauders noticed it as well. James wasn't as lively, wasn't as fun. He was still James, but maybe a ghost of his former self. The Marauders were extremely worried about their mate, but they knew there really wasn't anything they could do to help. As time flew by –as they entered the last month of term–James still hadn't come around.

Everyone was outside. It was beautiful out, why wouldn't everyone be outside? Plus, the 5th year students had just finished their O.W.L.s. It was time to relax and recuperate. The Marauders were under the shady beech tree talking and generally horsing around.

Lily and her mates were a few yards away basking in the sunlight and laughing together. James couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness at the sight of Lily forgetting about him. He was happy she was happy, but he couldn't help but feel that way. She looked positively radiant. Her red hair glowed in the sunlight as did he skin. James sighed to himself as he turned back to his best mates.

Moments later, something caught his eye, his arch enemy, Severus Snape. James hated him, completely and irrevocably. One, Snivellus was in Slytherin. Two, his friendship with Lily always seemed odd to James. Lily was perfectly fine being his mate, but James could tell that Snivellus fancied Lily. He knew he loved her. It really got under his skin. James saw that Snape was staring at Lily over his book. The prat didn't even try hiding it.

Before James knew what he was doing, he quickly got up to his feet. His best mates all stared at him in his suddenness. James straightened his back and gracefully walked towards where Snape was sitting. Once the Marauders figured out where he was going, they all jumped up and followed him. Snape's eyes grew wide as he saw James and his mates coming towards him. He quickly began packing his things up and trying to get out of there, but it was too late.

"So, Snivellus…why are you staring at Evans that way?" James asked as a smirk was set on his lips.

"Sod off, Potter. I haven't done anything to you. Leave me alone," Snape said trying to walk past the four boys.

"Sorry Snivellus ole boy. You've pissed me off for the last time, actually this probably won't be the last time," James said as his smirk turned into a full grin.

Snape didn't say anything; he simply continued to try to move past the boys. The three boys in front of James blocked his way. Snape slowly backed away from them. James flicked his wand.

"_Levicorpus_!"

Snape's right leg instantly flew up into the air. As he flew into the air, his pants slipped revealing his underwear. He hung there with by his ankle, helpless. Just as the Marauder's burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"Good one, James," Sirius said clapping him on the back.

"What the hell is going on here!" They heard as a voice cut through their laughter.

The four boys turned on their heels and looked to see who had come over to the scene. Lily Evans was standing there looking pissed. James had never seen her this mad in his life. Her face was beet red and she had her fist clenched at her sides.

"Oh, hello, Lily! Come to have a laugh?" James asked.

"Put him down, Potter," Lily said through gritted teeth.

"No," James said simply.

Lily grabbed her wand out of her pocket and flicked her wand. She slowly lowered Snape down to the ground. She pushed through the laughing boys and walked over to her oldest friend.

"Sev, are you ok?" Lily asked desperately.

"Yes, I'm fine and I could have handled it. I don't need a Mudblood like _you_ to help me," Severus said turning red.

Lily looked at Severus in a how-could-you look. Snape's anger slowly lessened from his face as he realized his mistake. Before he could say anything, Lily was darting off towards the castle. She ran as if her life depended on it. James and the Marauders turned towards the boy sitting on the ground.

"You're going to regret every calling her that you fucking git," James said through clenched teeth.

He quickly raced after Lily.

**

* * *

**

James pulled out the map and quickly searched for her name. He saw her little dot racing up towards Gryffindor tower. James stashed the map back into his robes and took off. He could make it up there faster if he took a few shortcuts. He had to get to her.

When he got up to the tower, he quickly gave the Fat Lady the password and headed into the common room. Lily had sprawled upon the couch. He saw her back vibrating as she silently sobbed. James' heart broke watching her. He quickly walked over to her and leaned down.

"Lily? Lily?" James called.

She didn't look up. "G–g –go away, James," Lily stuttered.

"I refuse to go anywhere. You're hurting and I want to be here to help you in any way I can," James said sternly.

"I don't need you here," Lily said still not looking at him.

"I don't care. I know you need _someone_," James said.

"No, I don't need anyone," Lily said in a whisper.

"Look at me, Evans. LOOK AT ME," James bellowed.

Lily finally looked over at him. Her face streaked with tears as her eyes grew dark green.

"Lily, don't let him get to you. I know that he was one of your oldest and best mates, but he's changed. He's not the bloke you thought he was," James said quietly.

"I noticed he was changing, but I couldn't help it. I just wanted to salvage our distancing friendship," Lily said sobbing again.

"I know, I know. Sometimes some friendships are unsalvageable. You don't need him. Especially after you've been such a good friend to him and then he basically spits on you. Come here," James said slowly pulling Lily to him.

Lily didn't protest. She simply let him hug her. She hugged him extremely tight and cried into his neck. This is what she needed regardless of what she told him. She needed someone to hug her and tell her it was okay even if she didn't believe it herself. Lily and James turned around to see Tegan and Jenna busting into the common room.

"There you are! We've been looking everywhere for you," Jenna said.

"Well, here I am," Lily said in a small voice.

"I'm going to go. I'll let your mates take it from here," James said getting up.

"James!" Lily called.

He turned around and looked at her.

"Thank you," Lily said with a small smile.

James gave her a small smile back and nodded his head. He turned and continued to walk out of the common room. He knew her mates would take good care of her. He was just happy that she had good friends to care for her. Even though they hadn't spoken in months, she still let him comfort her. There was still hope.

As James walked out of the castle, he hoped the Snape was nowhere in sight because he might not be able to control what he would do to him. He also hoped that his mates at least hexed him a few times. All he cared about was the girl in Gryffindor Tower. His heart ached as he thought about how upset she was. It made him think about the night they stopped speaking to each other, but this time was different. He got to comfort her. He got to show her people actually care for her. He showed her that she didn't need that slimy git. He showed her that she's stronger than she thought. He knew Lily Evans would be ok. It would just take some time.

* * *

**A/N: **ALL DONE! Another long 17 pages. I hoped you enjoyed it. This chapter was quite difficult for me to write. I don't know how I really feel about it. It's all right at best. Maybe once I get a good night's rest, I will tweak some things. ANYWAYS, tell me what you think.

Reviews are classy.

I'm sorry, I'm not quite that witty at 1 a.m. Apologies all around.

P.S: I wasn't going to publish this until the weekend, but I'm writing chapter 7 right now. :D


	7. Goals

**Author's note: **Hello dearies. I've been so busy it's insane. D: School is killing me this semester. It seems that every teacher wants a paper or to take a test. Not so fun. Anyways, enough complaining.

**Disclaimer: **Jo is the greatest.

* * *

**Chapter seven**

**Goals**

The end of the year brought several changes for Lily. One, Lily and Sev were no longer friends. Her oldest and dearest friend had called her a "Mudblood". That was the worst name anyone could call a Muggleborn.

With the war going on, it was common for many people to hate her kind, but she didn't expect Sev—of all people—to call her that. It was worst than betrayal. She still couldn't wrap her head around that day.

Snape had sent her several letters during the course of the summer. Lily read them, but she never wrote back. Lily avoided their usual haunts because she knew that he'd be there. She knew that he hoped she would turn up so he could talk to her and she didn't want to give him the chance. She knew couldn't forgive him, ever. So, Lily either stayed close to her house or in Diagon Alley.

She didn't see Severus and she was happy about that. She didn't know how she would react to him. Would she hex him? Would she just fall to her knees and cry? She didn't want to find out.

Two, she and James were back on speaking terms. For her and James, their relationship had always been a strange one. They have been "enemies" for several years. They always seemed to find something to argue about until last year. Things weren't so bad, in the beginning. Towards the end, things became increasingly worse. They had got along for the most part, minus the debacle.

After what happened with the Marauders, Snape and her, everything that happened was almost forgotten. Lily was still cross with James for many things that happened last year, including her break up with Nate and James' unnecessary taunting of Snape. She knew that it wasn't James' complete fault about her break up. There was also a long history between the Marauders and Snape. She knew either one wasn't innocent.

But when she arrived home for the summer, Snape wasn't the only one who sent her a lot of letters. James sent her dozens. He asked her if she was feeling all right and that he and Sirius were worried about her. Lily thought it was quite sweet. She did happen to write him and Sirius back. She wasn't quite ready to visit them just yet. She could wait until September.

Three, Lily had changed. Not in a bad way, but for the better. After losing Sev as a mate, she learned she was much stronger than she thought. She thought he'd always be there by her side, as she was always going to be by his. She was utterly wrong. She didn't need him after all.

No matter what, it still hurt her. Someone that she shared so much of her childhood with wasn't there anymore. Lily knew she couldn't dwell on this subject. She knew it'd bring her down. So she focused on having fun for the rest of her summer. She would put Severus Snape in the back of her mind and focus on herself.

* * *

The day arrived to go back to Hogwarts. Lily didn't know how she felt about this. One, she was excited to be going back to school for another exciting year. Two, she didn't want to run into Snape. That frightened her more than anything.

She boarded the train after hugging her parents goodbye and putting her trunk on board. She went to her usual compartment. She, Jenna and Tegan have had the same one for six years now. Lily was the first one of arrive. She placed her owl on the seat next to her and waited for her mates to show up.

Ten minutes later, the door banged open and Lily saw Tegan smiling down at her. Lily smiled back at her and got up to hug her.

"I like how we act like we haven't seen each other in ages, but really I haven't seen you since last week," Tegan said giggling.

"I know, but sometimes it does feel like ages," Lily said giggling as well.

Before either one could say another word, Jenna came through the door next. She beamed at her two best mates as she sat her stuff down.

"Hello, lovelies," Jenna said as she sat down herself.

"Hello," Lily and Tegan exclaimed.

"How was the rest of your holidays?" Jenna said throwing her thick brown hair behind her shoulder.

"Uneventful," Lily said with a shrug.

"Boring. How was yours?" Tegan asked.

"Fantastic," Jenna said with a smirk.

"Ut oh, spill!" Lily said eagerly.

Jenna let out a small laugh and smiled at them both mischievously.

"Well, if you two MUST know. I had quite the songfest with Robert Burns," Jenna said smiling brightly.

Lily and Tegan both gaped at their best friend. Jenna was the more tamed version of the group. It wasn't unlikely for her to snog a bloke or two sometime, but a _songfest_? Jenna is starting to come out of her shell a bit. And they love it!

"Excuse me, Miss Jenna Thorne, care to repeat yourself?" Lily asked.

"I believe you both heard me," she said with a wink.

"Wait, what have you done with our best mate? Whatever it is, you can keep her. I like this more slagg-ish mate better," Tegan said smiling at Jenna.

The three girls burst out laughing.

"I'm not turning into a slag, Tegan! I simply can't help it if I fancy snogging him," Jenna said with a shrug.

"You can call it whatever you want. You're still a slag in my eyes and I love every minute of it," Tegan said.

As the two girls bickered with one another, Lily saw Remus outside of the compartment door. He signaled for her to come out. Lily looked at her mates and saw that they were busy and slipped out.

"Hey, Remus. What's going on?" Lily asked.

"Nothing much. I just came to collect you for the Prefects meeting," he said.

"Well, that's quite nice of you," Lily said smiling at the boy next to her.

"Plus, I wanted to talk to you," Remus said shifting uncomfortably.

"What about?" Lily asked sobering up.

"I was just wondering if you're still peeved at the lot of us because of the end of last year," he said looking over at her.

Lily's face instantly went pale. Everything she put in the back of her mind came flooding back. Her breath caught in her throat. She looked over at Lupin and stared at him. His facial expression was grim and patient. Lily finally spoke after what seemed forever.

"No, I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at the Marauders anymore," Lily said flatly.

"Good. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry regardless," Lupin said giving her a small smile.

Lily returned the smile. It felt stiff and unnatural. She hoped he couldn't tell. She didn't feel like explaining anything she was thinking about.

The pair made it to the front of the train. Remus opened the compartment door and let Lily enter first. She saw on the first bench available. Lupin sat down next to her. They waited for the meeting to begin. She didn't look around. She feared looking around. She knew once she did and her eyes would lock with someone's she rather not be bothered with. As she sat there, she swore she felt like someone was staring at her. She knew who it would be so she kept her body facing forward.

The meeting was otherwise uneventful and passed quickly. As soon as it was time to leave, Lily waved goodbye to Lupin and walked out of there as quickly as she could. She didn't want to be in close proximity to him any longer. As she walked back towards her compartment, she wasn't paying much attention to her surroundings. The need to get away from the compartment won her focus over paying attention to anything surrounding her. With that said, Lily didn't notice when she walked head first into someone's chest.

"I –I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention," she stammered out.

"Lily, it's all right," the voice said back.

Lily recognized the voice; of course she recognized the voice. She looked up and saw James Potter smirking at her. Lily instantly started biting her lip. She wasn't truly ready to see him yet. Sure, things with them were fine, but seeing him could have waited until they were back at the castle. That way she had time to run and hide from him. Seeing him on the train, hiding had very limited options.

"Oh, well, I'm still sorry," she said with a shrug.

"Stop apologizing. I said it's all right," he said with a small smile.

"Sor –I can't help it!" She exclaimed as her face burned as the blush quickly covered her embarrassed face.

James just merely looked down at her as he shook his head.

"This year, I'm going to have to teach you not to apologize for everything. I'm going to give you a backbone, Evans," James said.

"I have a backbone, Potter," Lily said sternly, but she could hear the uncertainty in her voice.

James let out a soft chuckle.

"Convincing," he said.

Lily chose to roll her eyes instead of giving him an answer.

"Well, I hope you're ready for your lessons then," he said smiling at her.

"I don't need them," she said trying to walk past him.

James instantly blocked her path.

"Let me go through, James!" She said looking up at him.

When she looked up at him, he was no longer smiling at her. James' face was serious, completely and utterly serious. The trace of mirth moments ago were gone. Lily stopped struggling with him and stood back.

"I wanted to talk to you, actually," he said slowly.

Lily couldn't really do anything. She was shocked by his sudden mood change. What could he want to talk about? She thought everything was cleared up. They had cleared everything up, right?

"About?" She finally asked.

James began to fidget about –his hand going to his hair as he played with it. Lily couldn't help but watched as he performed his well-known nervous tick. James seemed to be thinking that about whatever he was going to say. Lily folded her arms over her chest and waited for whatever he was going to say to her.

"I –I was just wondering if Snape said anything to you while in the meeting. I mean, when you ran into me it seemed you were thinking about something rather hard," James said finally looking down at Lily.

Lily froze. She rather not talk about this matter, especially on a train. Lily's gut instinct was to just push past James and run away. But one, she knew he'd catch her before she could push past him and two, she supposed she could talk to someone about all of this. Lily shook herself mentally and sighed heavily.

"No, he didn't say anything to me in there. And I'm glad he didn't. I don't know what I would have done, honestly," she said looking down at her shoes.

James was quiet for a bit. Lily saw his feet step closer to her. She looked up and saw that James' facial expression changed again. It was still quite serious, but it was also worried. Lily quickly looked down again, but James' fingers gently slid under her chin. He guided her face back up to look at him. With the same arm, he wrapped it around Lily's middle as the other encompassed her head.

He was hugging her. James Potter was comforting her. He wasn't trying to snog her stupid, he was being a gentleman. Lily stood there not knowing what to do with herself. Did she hug him back? Did she pat him on the back? Did she just stand there like a dolt (just like she was now)? Lily opted with putting an arm around James' back and patting him on the back.

James let out a low chuckle. Lily could hear it rumble his chest.

"I'm supposed to be comforting you, Lily. Just..just enjoy it. Can you do that?" James asked with humor in his voice.

Lily thought about that. Could she enjoy it? Could she let herself for once be comforted? She hated being so stubborn sometimes, but she knew that was the only way things wouldn't get to her. If she let herself truly and completely get lost in her emotions she'd crack. There was already so much she was dealing with besides everything that happened the year before that she could feel the unfamiliar, dull ache in her chest. She knew if she stayed like this in James' arms she would surely lose it. She couldn't let herself do that.

Lily quickly pulled back. She looked up at James for a moment and quickly averted her eyes.

"Um, thank you," she said quietly.

"It's no problem at all, Lil. If you need to talk or anything, you know you can come to me, right?" He said cocking his head to the side.

Lily turned her head to look at him. She quickly nodded her head and gave him a wave goodbye. James waved back at her as she zoomed down the corridor.

James knew that Lily was holding a lot in and that was another goal of the year, getting everything that was plaguing her out.

* * *

The whole way to the castle, Lily acted like nothing was wrong as she sat and chatted with her mates. In a way, she knew that they knew something was off, but they weren't going to question her now. So, they continue to chat and laugh about silly things. Everything was going to be great.

Before they pulled into Hogsmeade, Lily, Jenna and Tegan all put on their robes. Lily gave them both a wave goodbye and quickly walked to the front of the train. It was almost duty time after all. As she made her way towards the front she saw most of the students getting ready to depart. She quickened her pace.

When she made it to the front, she saw Remus was already there. She smiled at him in greeting as he smiled back at her. The two didn't say anything else to the other until the train stopped and they got out onto the platform. Lily and Lupin worked quickly and efficiently. As the last few students caught carriages, Lily told Remus he could go on ahead of her.

"Are you sure, Lily?" He asked hesitantly.

"I am. I just forgot something on the train," Lily lied easily.

Lupin looked at her dubiously. She gave him her biggest and most reassuring smile (she hoped). Remus finally sighed and shook his head.

"I'll see you up there, then," he said looking at her before he left.

Lily nodded and smiled at him. Remus gave her a nod and strode to the carriages. Lily watched him go, as soon as his carriage was out of sight; she turned back around and sighed. She just wanted a few minutes alone before she had to be surrounded by so many people all at once.

"What are you still doing here?" James said from behind her.

Lily almost jumped out of her skin.

"Me? What are you doing here?" Lily asked.

"I asked you first," he said striding towards her.

She rolled her eyes.

"If you must know James Potter, I am, was, having a quiet moment," she said with a sniff.

"Well, I'm sorry for interrupting. I can leave if you want," he said.

Lily thought about it. She wanted to be alone for a bit, but James wasn't bad company. She could handle him for the moment.

"No, you don't have to," she said with a shrug, "but you still didn't answer my question."

"I'm always the last one to enter the castle," James said as he put his hands in his pockets.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I've always done it. It's become a tradition for me now," he said standing next to her.

"I see," Lily said.

"So, what's your _real_ reason for staying down here? I heard that terrible excuse you gave Remus," James said with his trademark smirk.

"It was terrible, wasn't it?" Lily asked.

James nodded his head. Lily smiled at him.

"Well, I just wanted a few moments to myself really before I stepped into the castle. That's all," Lily said looking over at James.

James was quiet for a minute. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.

"I know it's going to be hard for you to step in there and just remember that no matter what, you have people that care for you and that will always be there for you. I know Tegan, Jenna, Sirius and of course, I will always be there. Don't forget that, ok?" He said looking at her.

Lily couldn't help but stare at him. Where was all of this coming from?

"I'm glad you told me that, James. It makes me feel better, at least. I know it's going to be hard, but I know I'll be able to do it, I think," Lily said talking mostly to herself.

"I know you can do it. You're a strong girl, Lily. I believe in you and I know your friends do as well," he said smiling at her.

Lily smiled back. She did feel a bit better. Maybe she needed reminding that she was strong enough to face whatever may come. Plus, she had some pretty fantastic mates by her side. She mentally wrote herself a note to remind them exactly what they mean to her.

"We should probably head up there," James said after awhile.

Lily nodded. They walked over to the last carriage. James opened the door and helped Lily into it as he hopped in after her. The carriage instantly started its way up to the castle.

Lily and James didn't say anything as they made their way to the castle. The silence wasn't awkward and for once James wasn't constantly trying to fill it. When had that changed? As Lily dwelled on this change, she secretly took glances at him.

He was staring out of the window, taking in the whole of Hogwarts. Lily couldn't help but smile at this. He looked like a first year. His features lit up as they grew closer. Lily could easily sympathize. She felt the same exact way, every year. Maybe they had more in common than she thought.

The carriage came to a stop in front of the castle. James opened the door and held out his hand. He helped Lily out and shut the door. They walked towards the doors together. James heard Lily sigh heavily. He quickly squeezed her hand with reassurance. A small smile lit up her features as they continued to walk into the Great Hall.

They quickly took their seats and waited for the Sorting to begin. Lily tried to pay attention to the Sorting, she really did, but it seemed that other things were on her mind. James, James was on her mind. Why had she never noticed he always was the last one to enter the castle? Why hadn't she realized that Hogwarts meant so much to him as it meant to her? Well, truthfully, she hadn't quite paid much attention to James Potter.

Throughout the six years they've come in contact with each other, they always mickeyed the hell out of each other. Well, until last year. James had asked her out time and time again. She had turned him down every time because she just didn't fancy him, nor liked to be in the same room as the bloke, but she wouldn't deny that he was a brilliant snogger. If anything, Lily could snog James for hours.

Lily's slaggish thoughts brought her out of her ravine. Why was she concentrating on James so much anyways? Part of her sensed he changed a bit, a tiny bit, from the prat he used to be. They've had in depth conversations, but mostly it was about James' life, not hers. Of course, he fancied her and would want to know about her well-being, right? So, all-in-all, this shouldn't come as a surprise, but it does.

She never knew why he fancied her. She was the complete opposite of him. He was carefree and not the least bit astute. She on the other hand, was always in control of her actions and was always conscious of her studies. She made a mental note to ask him about this someday.

"Earth to Lily Evans," Tegan said waving a hand in Lily's face.

Lily snapped out of her thoughts and blinked owlishly at her.

"Sorry, I was, er, thinking," Lily said slightly blushing.

"We figured that. Well, you blanked out before the first first year could be called and I didn't think I could let you miss dinner," she said with a smile.

"Thanks," Lily mumbled.

"So, what were you pondering about so hard?" Jenna asked joining the conversation.

"Hm? I'll explain later when we're a lot more secluded," Lily said quietly.

The other two nodded as they started piling things on their plate. Before Lily knew it, dinner was over. She and Remus along with the rest of the Prefects guided the new first years to their proper houses. Lily wasn't as into as she was last year. She was still thinking about everything from earlier. After she and Remus showed the first years to their proper dorms, she was quick to say her goodnights.

"Lily, wait," Lupin said quietly.

Lily pivoted around on the step and looked down at him.

"Yes?" She asked flatly.

"A–are you ok?" He asked hesitantly.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?" Lily asked walking back down the common room.

"I don't know, you just seemed a bit out of it," he said squirming around.

"Oh, um, I'm just a bit tired," she lied as gave him a small smile.

"All right, just making sure," he said continuing to fidget.

"Well, goodnight, Remus," Lily said starting to turn again.

"Night Lily," he said back quietly.

As Lily made it up to the 6th year girl dormitory, she took a deep breath and opened the door. Jenna and Tegan were already sitting on her bed in their pajamas. Lily smiled a bit to herself as she walked over to the bed. She crawled onto it and sat in between her best friends.

Instantaneously Tegan closed the bed curtains as Jenna casted a Silencing Charm. Lily gapped at their quick work. They both sat back down and smiled at her.

"We really want to know what's going on," Jenna said with a shrug.

"I can tell," Lily said smiling at them.

"Well, go on. Tell us! We know you want to," Tegan said mockingly.

Lily rolled her great green eyes and sighed.

"Well, after everyone got off of the train, I hung back a bit. I wanted some time alone. I needed to get my head straight before I walked into the castle. As I did, I discovered James to be there too. Well, he discovered me. I guess he always was the last one to enter the castle, every year. I had no idea. So we talked and he told me that I'll be fine and I'm stronger than I thought. It really helped, it really did. He told me that I have the two of you, Sirius and him to help me through all of this. And I'm extremely grateful for that," Lily said sending her two mates a smile," I then started thinking about James, a lot while we were at dinner."

"Oooh, do tell," Jenna said.

"I never realized how much we were alike. I watched him as we made our way up to the castle and he genuinely loves this place. Maybe as much as I do. And that he's a brilliant snogger," she blushed severely," and maybe he isn't so bad."

"Excuse me? Did you just say James Potter 'isn't so bad'?" Tegan asked.

Lily blushed as she shrugged.

Tegan and Jenna both gave each other significant looks before they turned back to Lily.

"What was the look for?" Lily asked crossing her arms.

"Nothing, nothing," Jenna said.

"Oh, come on! I'm telling you about things, you two _have_ to share, too," Lily said cocking an eyebrow.

Jenna and Tegan looked at each other again having a silent battle with each other. They both sighed and turned back to Lily.

"Fine," Tegan said defeated.

Lily smiled smugly at the two of them.

"It's about bloody time that you stop thinking James is such a shitty prat. He's far from it, if you got to know him!" Tegan said as Jenna nodded in agreement.

"I never said he _was_!" Lily blurted out.

"That is such a lie. All of last year, you totally ignored him and thought him horrible," Jenna said.

Lily bit her lip. "I didn't think he was horrible, but I had good reasons to ignore him!"

"Oh big deal, he asked you out!" Jenna said.

"It _was_ a big deal, thank you," Lily defended.

"Why? You didn't fancy him, _did you_?" Tegan asked cocking an eyebrow.

"NO! I couldn't stand him. If I did fancy him, don't you think I would have gone out with him then?" Lily posed.

"Maybe, or you thought you'd die in embarrassment," Jenna said.

"I wouldn't have died in embarrassment!"

"So you admit it then, you fancy him?" Tegan asked.

"Guys, I don't fancy him! Get that through your heads," Lily said crossly.

"Whatever you say," Jenna said laughing.

Lily shook her mane of red hair at them. She couldn't believe them. She didn't fancy James. Why would she do that? Just because he fancied her, doesn't mean she _has_ to fancy him back. Lily sighed and looked at her two cackling best mates.

"Well, I must go to bed, classes and all that," Lily said firmly.

Still laughing, Jenna and Tegan opened the bed hangings and returned the bed back to normal. They said their goodnights as they walked back to their respective beds. Lily quickly went to the bathroom and changed and climbed back into bed.

She needed new mates, as soon as possible or at least someone that believes her when she tells them she doesn't fancy a certain someone. Lily closed the curtains again and lay back in bed. She prayed sleep would come soon because she didn't want think about James Potter anymore.

* * *

The next day, Lily got up earlier than usual. She only slept for five hours, but she felt rested. So, that couldn't be so bad. She quickly put on her uniform and gave herself a messy braid. Her two mates were still asleep. She didn't want to wake them, so she grabbed her rucksack and headed down to the Great Hall.

Lily hummed to herself as she walked down to breakfast. Despite her best mates picking on her last night, she was in a pretty good mood. When she made it to the Great Hall, she headed over to the Gryffindor table. The table was mostly empty as she sat down at the middle of the table. She grabbed a blueberry muffin, sausage patties and a glass of pumpkin juice. Just as she was about to dig in, she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

She turned around and discovered it to be Sirius. She smiled up at him as he smiled down at her. He quickly sat down next to her, still beaming. Lily couldn't help but feel a jolt of happiness as Sirius sat down.

"Well, good morning," Lily said taking a bite of her food.

"Good morning to you, Lily-Flower," he said starting to pile things on his plate.

"What are you doing up so early and so alone?" Lily asked referring to his lack of mates.

"James, Remus and Peter are all still asleep. I was too hungry to sleep any longer," he said sending her a small smile.

"You and your damn stomach. You're always hungry," she said.

"I can't help it. I'm a growing bloke who happens to need nourishment," Sirius said pseudo-shock.

Lily laughed as did Sirius. They continued to eat, this time in silence. It wasn't awkward, but simply enjoying each other's company. A thought crossed Lily's mind and before she could stop herself, she blurted it out.

"So, Tegan and Jenna have gone positively mad. They think I fancy James," Lily said with a small laugh.

Sirius stopped eating and looked at her quite seriously. Lily gulped. She knew they look he was giving her and she didn't like it. Sirius had something to say, she knew it as well as her own name. She waited.

"Honestly, maybe they aren't so mad," Sirius said slowly as Lily cocked an eyebrow at him," I mean, no offense, but you ignored James most of the year and now you two had a _moment _yesterday."

Lily took his statement into consideration. They did have a moment yesterday. It was strange to think about really. James knew the right things to say to her as if he knew her better than she did. Was the possible?

"It's a lot to take it, really. I mean, if you told me years ago I'd be having a moment with James Potter, I'd think you were a nutter," Lily said quietly.

"It is a lot to think about, but honestly, it's about damn time!" Sirius said happily.

Lily groaned. "You sound like Tegan and Jenna. Traitor!"

"I'm not a traitor. I've been rooting for this for awhile," Sirius said cheekily.

"Awhile?" Lily's eyes squinted suspiciously.

Sirius looked at her as if he didn't say anything out of the ordinary.

"What constitutes as awhile?" Lily asked slowly.

"Seriously, Lil. That's the only thing you worry about?" Sirius asked.

"You're avoiding. Now, spill it!" Lily yelled.

"Fine, fine. I guess you could say awhile is four years ago," Sirius said thinking about it," yeah, four years ago."

_FOUR YEARS AGO! FOUR YEARS…_

"Excuse me? Four years! Why didn't I know about this?" Lily asked turning red.

"That's the worst question I expected you to ask. You should know the answer to that," he said rolling his eyes.

Lily bit her lip as she thought about it. Why was she so stupid? Of course she knew the answer to her own question.

"Well, excuse me for being completely thrown off by this bit of information," Lily said in a huff.

Sirius let out a quiet chuckle.

"And I'm quite glad you think this is funny."

"I'm sorry, but I've had years to prepare for this moment," Sirius said turning to look at her.

"What moment?" Lily asked.

"That you finally admit you fancy James!" Sirius said as if she was playing dumb.

Lily almost chocked on her pumpkin juice.

"W—who says I fancy him! I never admitted nor do I fancy James bloody Potter. You're all mental!" Lily said quickly.

Sirius rolled his grey eyes. "Whatever you say."

"Exactly! Whatever I say! I don't fancy that nitwit," Lily said loudly.

"And what nitwit are we talking about?" Lily heard a familiar voice behind her.

Lily's eyes grew wide as her face became maroon. _Fuck_. She quickly turned around and saw James Bloody Potter standing behind her.

"N—no one," Lily said simply.

"I beg to differ, you were getting quite riled up about this 'nitwit'," he said with a knowing smirk as he took a seat next to her.

Lily bit her lip and looked back down at her plate and then over to Sirius who was smiling from ear-to-ear. _Arsehole_. Lily peeked back over at James who was placing food upon his plate.

"All right there, Lily?" James asked smiling at her.

She was beginning to hate that smile. _He thought he was so suave and just so bloody lovely, didn't he? Well, he wasn't! HE WASN'T! He was annoying, childish and completely and utterly rubbish. Yes, rubbish. _Lily seethed to herself as James and Sirius had a casual chat around her back. At this point, Lily didn't care anymore. She was already cross. She grabbed her rucksack and quickly got to her feet. James and Sirius looked at her in alarm. She flashed them back a stern, angry look and marched off.

She showed them. They wouldn't make her feel stupid any longer. She would simply go and sit outside of Charms until she could go inside. It beat sitting down there with those two prats.

* * *

The day was finally over and Lily had survived, even if she had to deal with her two ex-best mates and the Marauders. Least she survived. After Lily's last class, she walked up to her dorm. She felt like a truck had hit her. She guessed that her lack of sleep had finally caught up with her.

She threw her rucksack down and leapt for her bed. She almost moaned as her body landed upon it. She sprawled out and closed her eyes. As she did, she heard the door bang open. _Bloody hell can't a girl take a nap?_

"There she is!" Lily heard.

Lily groaned. She felt two indentions on her bed.

"It's almost dinner time," Jenna said.

"Your point? I'm too tired to eat dinner," Lily mumbled into her covers.

"One can never be too tired to eat dinner, Lily dear," Tegan said happily.

"Sure they can, I am, in fact," Lily said.

"Nonsense, come with us!" Jenna said.

"Why should I? And you two are rotten mates! One, you two mickey me all last night and now you won't let me rest in peace," Lily said holding her head up and looking at the two of them.

"Lily, you're being quite dramatic right now. Honestly, we're still you're best mates in the whole universe!" Jenna said.

Lily scoffed.

"Did you just scoff at us? Fine, be mateless. See how long it takes you until you come groveling back to us," Tegan said.

Lily rolled her eyes and sat up.

"And I thought I would have to resort to worse threats," Tegan said smiling at Lily.

Lily got up and stretched.

"Just for the record, I hate you both," Lily said as she walked towards the door.

The two girls quickly followed her, laughing all the while. Lily shook her head as they walked down to dinner. Once they got there, Lily was kind of, kind of, glad that she did come. All of her favorite things were for dinner, macaroni and cheese, brussel sprouts and ham. She didn't tell her best friends she was happy they dragged her out of bed, mainly because she knew they'd gloat.

As she sat down and quickly piled food on her plate, she didn't pay attention to anyone else around her. She knew this was probably a bad idea, but she couldn't help it when glorious food was sitting there in front of her. It's quite easy to get distracted.

As she began eating her delicious food, she felt someone sit down next to her. She looked over with her peripheral vision and almost groaned in frustration. James sat down next to her like nothing had happened this morning. Lily decided it was best to ignore him and continue to eat dinner.

"Hello, Lily," he said still placing things on his plate.

Lily grunted in response.

"That's not very lady-like," James said as his lips started to smirk.

"Well, James, I'm not very lady-like then," Lily said turning to finally look at him.

James finally stopped placing food on his plate and held up his hands. "It was a joke, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes and went back to shoveling food into her mouth.

"Besides, lady-like or not, I like you how you are," he muttered.

Lily almost dropped her fork on her plate. _Holy hell!_ _Did he have to bring things up like that during dinner, nonetheless, around a whole hall full of people?_ Lily turned completely red as she looked at James. He shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating.

Lily was shocked and cross all at the same time. How can he bring something like that up and be so nonchalant about it? It was truly maddening. Then she thought about what Sirius said, _four years_ he's been after her, so that's the only way that can be explained. Still, it was new to her and completely unnerving. Could she get used to his comments?

"James, I have a question to ask you. It's really been bugging me," Lily said shocking herself.

"Wut es et?" He asked with a mouthful of food in his mouth.

"Um, well, I was wondering w—why you liked me, is all," she said instantly turning maroon. _How attractive_.

James swallowed the food in his mouth and looked at her with an eyebrow raised. Soon his other eyebrow went to meet the other. _Ut oh!_

"Why do you ask? Are you starting to fancy me, Evans?" James said with a wink, but his voice still sounded shocked.

"N—no, I-I don't know! Just answer the damn question!" Lily yelled looking back down at the table.

James let out a chuckle. "Always so impatient. Well, if you _must_ know, I told you while we were in the broom closet. You're different, Lily. Unlike anyone I know and frankly, you don't give yourself as much credit as you should. You're completely brilliant and lovely and I'd be a fool to think otherwise," he said starting to stand up.

Lily watched him as he walked down the table towards his friends. Lily's mouth fell agape. How could she forget about everything he said in the broom closet? Frankly, she hadn't forgotten, but she supposed it still hadn't sunk in. Would it ever sink in?

* * *

After that night, Lily felt strange when she was around James. She didn't want to haul off and kill him for just being in her line of sight. She didn't fancy him—she couldn't—could she? Things were just becoming more complicated than they should be. It was their 6th year; it was a breather in between O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. It wasn't time to be thinking about stressful things as a change of heart towards James Potter, if that's what was going on, but it wasn't.

Things were going at the same leisurely pace as they always had. Lily fought Tegan, Jenna and Sirius off with their constant persistence of her feelings towards James. Lily noticed that James wasn't being as much of a nitwit as he usually was and it was almost alarming, but interesting at the same time. Lily was working diligently as a Prefect and also on her school work. Everything was basically normal, sort of.

The day before they left for Christmas break, Lily was minding her own business as she sat on the window seat in the common room. She was reading one of her favorite Muggle books, appropriately enough, _A Christmas Carol_. She hummed to herself and turned the dog-eared pages.

"Hey, Lily-Flower!" Sirius said walking over to her.

She put the book down, marking her page. She smiled up at him and moved her feet from the other end of the seat so Sirius could sit down.

"Hey, Sir. What's going on?" She asked smiling.

"Nothing, hence me coming to steal you away from your book."

"Where are the other boys?" Lily asked looking around the common room.

"Hm? Oh, they went down to the kitchens," Sirius said brushing it off.

"And you didn't go with them? You're Sirius Black who is ALWAYS hungry. So, what's wrong then?" Lily asked sitting up more.

"Nothing's wrong, silly goose. I went down earlier," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Sirius Orion Black, I've known you far too long to know if you're lying to me or not!" Lily said with a stern look.

Sirius rolled his grey eyes and gave her a pointed look.

"I assure you that I'm not lying, thank you," he said flatly.

Lily sighed and scooted closer to Sirius. She placed a loving hand on his shoulder.

"Sirius, it's just you and I, what's wrong?" She tried again.

Sirius seemed to think about what she said. He finally turned towards her and nodded his head.

"It seems usually around this time, I get a bit depressed. I usually mask it well. I mean, the lads can usually tell that I'm not my 'usual' self, but by now they know there isn't much they can do. It's been two years since I haven't lived with my 'family' and I'm not upset about that really. You know how I've had such problems with them. And I'm beyond happy the Potters took me in. I'm really grateful, but it's still strange to be without a real family. The Blacks hate me as much as I hate them. The Potters love me as much as I love them. It just makes me feel so strange. The family whose blood runs in my very veins _hates_ me, while a family who doesn't have any sort of ties to me except that their son is my best mate, and they absolutely adore me! Like I was their own son. How is that possible? How could someone that has no ties to me think of me as amazing when my own family hates me because I refuse to be like them? With most Pure families, being the same—ruthless and conniving—is what's desired. The Potters are a Pure family and they don't give a shit about what or who I want to be as long as I'm happy. And I _am_ happy. I could never say that when I was living with the Blacks, never. It makes me wish that I was born into a family like James' or Remus' or Pete's. They were allowed to be whomever or whatever they wanted to be without constantly living up to their families' credo. I know you don't know how that feels, but in a way I suppose you would. I can compare it to your parents pressuring you into a certain career and you don't want to do it at all, but it's what is expected of you and you must, if not, they'll disown you. And it seems like around the holidays and I don't know why, maybe because this is the time everyone goes home to their family, I get this way. I constantly wonder what would happen to me if I hadn't met my mates or you or anyone that showed me I could be whomever I wanted," Sirius finished in a whisper.

Lily wrapped a comforting arm around Sirius' shoulders and squeezed him. She never knew he felt this way. Like he said, he usually hides it, how could she have known? Sirius never really talked about his family anymore because he didn't want to be reminded of all the shit he went through with them. It didn't help that there was a walking, talking reminder here in school—his brother Regulus. Sirius hated Regulus more than anything. His younger brother was almost a splitting image of Sirius. Unlike Sirius, Regulus was lived up to the Black credo.

After chewing a bit on Sirius' speech, Lily finally spoke.

"Sir, you don't have to wonder who you would be if you stayed in that house, you know why? Because that's not even a remote choice anymore. You're not living there any longer and you're surrounded by the people who love you most. And quit thinking you're such a bad person because your relatives are shite. You're far from it. You're the one who broke the cycle and I hope that more people from your family do the same. Pure Blood families don't have to be like yours, you don't have to be like them. You can be whomever you damn well please! Just because you were born into a Pure family doesn't prove you were inborn with those terrible traits. And you showed them that. You showed everyone that being a Pure Blood doesn't mean you have to be cold, ruthless and conniving. If anything, it shows you can do whatever you put your mind to. And I'm proud of you, Sirius. I'm extremely proud of you! You told them to shove their damn credo up their arses and leave you the fuck alone. I bet you that some Pure Bloods who don't agree with Voldermort's ridiculous ideas wouldn't have half the gall to tell their families to fuck off. You have balls, Sirius Black and you're one of the best people I know," Lily said looking at him straight in the eyes.

Sirius' mouth fell open as Lily finished her speech. Lily simply smiled down at him.

"So, no more of these thoughts. You're basically a Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew or whatever last name you choose. They all took you in because they think you're great and I frankly think they wouldn't if they thought you were a terrible person. So, no more beating yourself up. We can't pick our families, but we certainly can pick our friends," Lily said smiling.

Sirius nodded and hugged her, like a bone-breaking type of hug. Lily welcomed it.

"Thank you, Lily. I n—needed to hear that. Thank you and I'm glad you're one of my mates," he said smiling at her.

"It's not a problem at all. I'm glad we're mates, I really am," Lily said.

"Now that I spilled my guts to you, your turn!" Sirius said laughing.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked.

"You heard me, no spill!" Sirius said starting to poke her sides.

Lily wriggled around and started laughing.

"No. Sirius! Stop! I. Won't. Tell. You. Anything. If. You. Don't. Stop!" Lily said between giggles.

Sirius finally stopped but held up his hands menacingly to show he meant business. Lily rolled her eyes and fixed her jumper.

"There isn't much to tell, really," she said flashing him a look.

"Doesn't matter, there's still _something_," he said.

Lily let out a sigh and nodded her head.

"Fine, since I know I have _no_ _choice_!"

"That's a girl," he said smiling at her.

"Prat. Anyways, I've been thinking about James and just him fancying me and I can't seem to get it out of my head," Lily confessed.

Sirius crossed his arms and urged her own with a look.

Lily blushed and went on," and I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing anymore. I feel it's neither good nor bad. I mean, I don't want to strangle the kid whenever I see him now, so that's good. But I don't want to snog him either, so that's bad? Or good. I don't know, honestly."

Sirius seemed to think about this for a moment.

"Sounds like to me, that you're _starting _to fancy James," Sirius said with a devious smirk.

"Oh, bloody hell," Lily simply exclaimed as she placed her face in her hands.

"And that's not a bad thing, even if you may think so. I'm not being biased because honestly, I love you both as my good mates, but James wouldn't be bad for you. If anything, he'd probably be a lot better for you considering that you don't have much fun," Sirius said the last part quietly.

"I DO TOO HAVE FUN!" Lily bellowed.

"With that statement, I'd like to say you don't. Now back to what I was saying, oh yes, you and James would be fantastic together. Two of my favorite people _finally_ in a loving relationship? Brilliant!"

Lily stared at Sirius as if he grew another head.

"You have to be kidding me. I'm just coming to grips that I _may_, _may_, fancy James and you're talking about LOVE? Kill me why don't you," Lily said putting a hand on her chest.

"Come off it, Lil. You do fancy him, maybe just a bit, but I bet you that he'll grow on you," Sirius said with a wink.

"You've lost your mind. You're completely mental. I'm turning you into St. Mungo's as soon as possible," Lily said.

"Please, you would be so bored and lonely without me," Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"You wish. I have other mates!"

"Not as great as me, though," he said getting up from the seat and stretching.

"And where are you going?" Lily asked in alarm.

"I'm going to go find the lads. I'm feeling a ton better thanks to you and I've decided I'm hungry. Plus, you have a lot to think about," he said waving at her and leaving.

Lily simply stared at his retreating back. _Blokes, I'll never understand them. _

Lily grabbed her book in a huff and went back to reading. At least it'd keep her mind off of things.

* * *

Lily packed up everything she needed for holiday. She walked down to the Great Hall with Tegan and Jenna as they chatted and what not. As they made their way, Lily spotted James, Sirius, Peter and Remus standing over by the wall next to the doors. Lily told her mates she'd be right back and headed over to the four of them. Sirius, Remus and Peter quickly dispersed as she grew near. When she finally reached James, she had an eyebrow cocked.

"What's up with them?" She asked.

James simply shrugged. "Beats me."

"Well, I wanted to wish you a Happy Christmas and such since I won't be seeing you," she said fidgeting.

"I was planning on writing you, at least," he said fidgeting a bit as well.

"Really?" Lily asked shocked.

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know," Lily said blushing.

"Plus, how else are you going to get your present?" James asked as his lips quirked into a grin.

Lily stopped fidgeting at once and looked up at James. "What! You don't have to. Oh my god, I feel like such a dolt. I should have gotten you something. You should have told me!" She prattled on.

James put a finger to her lips to silence her. He bent his head down to whisper in her ear, "You already got me something."

Lily's eyes grew wide with confusion and shock.

"What did I get you?" She asked confused.

James didn't say anything, but simply bent down once more and kissed her softly on the lips. After he pulled away he smiled at her as she turned beet red. She couldn't believe him. He continued to smile at her and then ran a hand over her cheek.

"I'll write you soon, ok?" He said as his eyes sparkled behind his glasses.

Lily felt like she couldn't speak, so she opted for bobbing her head like an idiot.

"Brilliant," he said as he dropped his hand and went to find his mates.

Lily pivoted and walked back towards her friends. They cheekily smiled at her as she stopped in front of them.

"Happy Christmas to you, huh?" Tegan said laughing.

Lily finally snapped out of her trance and looked at her two cackling best mates.

"Oh, bugger off! It was just a small peck. It didn't mean anything," Lily said turning red again.

"Oh, please, you may be able to lie to yourself, but you can't lie to us. Plus, I don't go around kissing people goodbye like that," Jenna said with a wink.

Lily rolled her eyes and turned away from the two of the laughing idiots she called mates. The kiss didn't mean anything and also, he bought her a Christmas present. Lily's mind wondered about that for awhile until the line to leave started moving. Things were moving quickly and she wasn't talking about the line.

* * *

The holidays went as such:

Several letters from James, Sirius, Tegan and Jenna, along with James, Sirius, Tegan and Jenna's presents.

Had several very awkward dinners with Petunia and Vernon.

Got to visit Tegan and Jenna some.

Thoughts of James Potter never seemed to cease.

Christmas came and went. Lily received her gifts from her usual mates, but the prospect of receiving a gift from James made her stomach do all sorts of strange things. He never bought her anything for Christmas until now. What had changed?

Tegan got her several books that she always wanted. Lily got her Harlequin novels. Jenna got her a gorgeous pair of teal gloves and a hat to match. Lily got her a gorgeous, heavy purple scarf. Sirius got her large box of her favorite assorted candies from Honeydukes that also came with a taunting note (_Dearest Lily, Happy Christmas and I hope you're enjoying your holiday. James won't tell me what he got you, so you better write me the instant you get it and tell me what it is! Love, Sirius)_. Lily got him a large container of homemade fudge. Lastly, James' gift, he got her a locket. It had a group photo of Jenna, Sirius, Tegan and himself smiling and waving at her. Lily loved it. All of her favorite people together close to her heart. Did she just think of James as one of her favorite people? _Shit._

After she received her gifts, she quickly ran to her room and wrote each one of them a note.

_Tegan-_

_Happy Christmas! Thank you for all of the brill books. I hope you liked yours as well. _

_Love & Kisses~_

_Lily_

_Jenna-_

_Happy Christmas! The hat and gloves are gorgeous! I hope you love the scarf! _

_Love you~_

_Lily_

_Sir-_

_Happy Christmas to you as well! I wonder why he didn't tell you about what he got me, hmm. How did you know I was craving sweets from Honeydukes? I swear you know me better than I think sometimes. I hoped you enjoyed the fudge. I didn't make it since I'm crap at baking. Anyways, James got me a locket with a picture of all of you in it (You, Tegan, Jen and James). I love it, I really do. Well, I'm going to write James._

_Hugs~_

_Lily_

_James-_

_Happy Christmas! Thank you ever so much for the locket. It's beautiful! How the bloody hell did you take a photo of everyone without my knowledge? Anyways, I'm so sorry for not getting you anything! I blame you for this, if you __told__ me you were getting me something, I surely would have done the same. Now I feel terrible, but you said I got you __something__. What would that __something__ be, hm? Well, hope you're enjoying the holidays._

_~Lily_

Lily sighed happily to herself and walked back downstairs. Her mum was starting to make breakfast. Lily sent her a cheery smile as she sat down at the table.

"Have a good Christmas, Lils?" Her mother asked.

"Yeah, it was really brill this year," Lily said still smiling.

"Is it because you got that beautiful locket? So, who is _he_?" She said smiling wickedly back to her daughter.

Lily's mouth gaped open. Oh no, her own mother was making fun of her. Lily audibly groaned.

"Not you too!" Lily said.

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone is mickeying me about James. I'm sorry the kid has fancied me for four, FOUR years and now that I MAY be taking an interest in him, everyone gets on my case," Lily said exasperated.

"Oh, Lil, I was only teasing you, but tell me about this James," her mother said sitting down at the table.

Lily couldn't help but smile at her mother. Her mother was definitely one of her best friends. So, Lily told her mother about James. After telling her about him, her mother smiled a very knowing smile at her.

"Well, he sounds like a lovely boy. I'd like to meet him sometime," she said getting up to finish breakfast.

"Really?" Lily asked shocked.

"Sure he sounded a bit rough around the edges when you were younger, but it sounds like he's maturing to me," Elaine said turning to look at her daughter.

Lily wanted to roll her eyes, but she ignored the urge.

"You really think so? I mean, I thought he was as well, but you never can be too certain with James."

"Well, to be honest, he kind of reminds me of your father as his age," she said with a laugh.

Lily smiled at her mother. She always liked hearing stories about her parents around her age.

"How so?" Lily asked.

"Your father was always getting into trouble when we were your age. He was always trying to impress me and frankly, it didn't. I didn't like your father much at all, then. He annoyed me with all of his daft antics, but eventually he changed. He matured. He saw that acting like a dolt didn't pay off and he changed. He showed me how much he changed. Of course, he played pranks and made rude jokes now and then, but I fell for him," Elaine said smiling.

Lily smiled back. How strange, her father did remind her of James. Was James doing the same thing?

"You should go get ready while breakfast is cooking, your sister and Vernon will be over soon," Lily's mother said shooing her.

This time, Lily let herself roll her eyes. She got up slowly and headed up to her room. When she got there, she discovered a familiar owl perched on her bed. She opened a drawer in her vanity and gave it a treat. The large owl quickly flew out of the open window. Lily saw the two notes that were on her bed. She instantly knew they were from James and Sirius. She quickly opened the one of top.

_Lily-Flower-_

_Of course I know you better than you thought, how else would you explain the way you can't possibly hide a single thing from me? Anyways, I knew about the locket the whole time, I just wanted to hear your reaction to it. Why __wouldn't__ James tell me about it? He's my best mate after all! I'm glad you enjoyed your presents, especially James'. I knew you would. Happy Christmas again, hope to see you soon!_

_~Sirius_

Lily then picked up the next note and opened it:

_Lily-_

_I'm glad you enjoyed my present to you. Don't feel horrible because you didn't get me anything. And yes, you're right I did tell you that you already got me something. In fact, you gave me hope. Hope that I'm not chasing after you in vain. Your mates (I'm not specifying whom) told me that you may fancy me, a little. It's better than I thought. Plus, the kiss before holiday was also a nice gift as well. Hope your holidays go smashingly._

_~James_

Lily read the note again for a second time. _Holy hell!_ _Who had told him? _Lily quickly stopped thinking about it since she had to hurry and be "presentable" for Petunia Vernon. _Joy_.

Breakfast went as painless as possible. Lily only spoke when spoken to. She never volunteered information simply because she knew Petunia would kill her. And there was no need for squabbling, honestly. So, Lily kept quiet and ate her breakfast in peace.

Lily didn't like Vernon, not because he looked like a large boar, but because he was a right prick. Petunia loved him—she could tell—and if he made Petunia happy, who was she to ruin that? She knew deep down that Petunia was happy Lily hadn't ruin the morning, but she would never tell her that. Also, Lily knew if the roles were reverse—Lily came home with J—_someone_—Petunia wouldn't give her half of the respect she was showing her. It saddened Lily, but there wasn't much she could do about it.

Once everyone had cleared their plates, Lily instantly jumped up and volunteered to wash dishes. Anything to get out of the dining room. She couldn't handle Vernon going on and on about things that she never would care about in a million years. Lily's father helped her carry dishes into the kitchen.

"Thanks, dad," Lily said beaming at him.

"It's a great excuse to get out of there. I couldn't take Vernon's prattling anymore," he said sending Lily a smile.

"This is why we get along so well," Lily said laughing. Lily loved her dad to bits.

"I guess I should go back in there. I don't want your mother to have to deal with him all on her own," he said kissing the top of Lily's head.

"Good luck," Lily called after him. She could hear her father laugh as he went back into the dining room.

Lily quickly washed the dishes and put them away. Lily always liked doing things with her own hands. Magic was brilliant and everything, but sometimes it feels good to do something on your own.

* * *

A week passed. Lily invited Tegan and Jenna over for a sleepover since it was New Years and all. They happily obliged and would be over the next day. Lily made sure that Petunia wouldn't be present. She didn't want her best mates to be ridiculed. Her parents were going to celebrate with friends for once.

The next day came as Lily waited anxiously for her two best mates to arrive. At noon, there was a knock at the door. Lily ran to it excitedly. When she opened the door it wasn't completely who she was expecting. There stood Tegan and Jenna looking extremely guilty and mischievous at the same time. Behind them stood James and Sirius. Lily's jaw dropped.

"What's going on?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"That's a really good question," Jenna said quickly.

"Well, do explain," Lily said crossing her arms.

"Before we do that, may we come inside? It's a bit nippy out here," Tegan said smiling.

Lily finally let the four of them inside.

"Much thanks!" Tegan said.

"Uh huh, now, explain," Lily said still cross.

"It's all my fault, really," James said.

"I can believe that," Lily said raising an eyebrow at him.

"Well, I saw your mates here in Diagon Alley and I thought I'm pretty chummy with them, why not say hello. So, Sirius and I say hello and we discover they're coming to visit you and I thought why not tag along and say hello," James finished.

"That was the worst explanation ever, James Potter," Lily said shaking her head.

"Well, I'm sorry I thought you may want to see Sirius and I," James said shrugging.

"I could have waited until school," Lily retorted.

"Ouch! That really hurts me, Lily. I thought we were better mates than that," Sirius spoke up.

"We _were_," Lily said smiling at him.

Everyone seemed to laugh now that the tension was gone. Lily still shook her head.

"What am I going to do with the lot of you?" Lily asked rhetorically.

"Entertain us!" Sirius said.

"It was a rhetorical question," Lily said smiling.

"Regardless, you're stuck with us now," Sirius said laughing.

"Lily, did your friends arrive?" Her mother's voice came from the dining room.

Lily instantly starting biting her lip. "Yeah, mum, they're here!" Lily called back.

Lily heard her mother walking towards the kitchen. Lily starting fidgeting around.

"Hello, everyone," Elaine said smiling at them.

The group said hello in unison.

"Well, this is my mum, Elaine. Mum, this is Sirius and James. You know Tegan and Jenna," Lily added.

"Hello, Sirius. _James_," her mother said smiling at the two of them.

Lily's face turned as red as her hair. She and her mother just had the talk about James and there he was, standing right in her kitchen. Things could only get worse.

"Hello, Mrs. Evans, it's nice to finally meet you," James said bowing.

"We've only heard great things about you," Sirius added also bowing.

Lily placed her palms on her face. She was right. She was so right. Things are getting worse.

"Oh, really? Lily talks about me a lot?" Elaine said with a slight blush to her face.

Sirius and James nodded.

"That's sweet. I've heard a lot about you, James," Elaine said smiling.

"Oh? All good things, I hope," he said looking over at Lily who seemed to be steadily growing red.

"Of course, dear. Well, it was nice meeting and seeing you all. Lil, your father and I have some errands to run. Would you like us to bring anything back for tonight?" She asked turning to Lily.

Lily looked up at her mother and gave her a quick glare and then shook her head. "I'm sure we'll be fine," Lily said trying to smile at her mum.

"All right. We'll see you soon, then," her mother said patting her on her shoulder as she left.

Once they were all alone again, Tegan and Jenna let out loud guffaws of laughter. Lily turned to look at them.

"I'm glad you think that was funny," Lily said flatly.

"Oh…Lily…that…that…was…brilliant! Who…knew…your…mother…was…such…a…tease! She…embarrasses…you…as…much…as…we…do!" Tegan said in between giggles.

"She's such a traitor. I can disown my own mum, can't I?" Lily said with a sniff.

"So, what were you saying about me, eh?" James asked wagging his eyebrows.

"For Merlin's sake! I hate you all!" Lily screeched as Tegan and Jenna wiped tears from their eyes.

"I don't hate you, Lily-Flower, even if you _didn't_ mention me to your mother," Sirius said putting an arm around her shoulders.

Jenna and Tegan started up again. Lily rolled her eyes and patted Sirius' hand that rested on her shoulder. This was going to be a long day.

Later that evening, the five of them sat together around the fireplace. They were sitting around drinking butter beer—that Sirius and James brought with them—and having a relaxed chat. The excitement from the afternoon had died down considerably and Lily was totally okay with this fact.

They were all quiet for awhile until Lily snapped up and looked around. Everyone looked at her as if she had grown another head.

"What time is it?" Lily asked.

James pulled back the sleeve of his jumper and looked at his watch. "It's 11:50."

"It's almost New Years!" Lily said excitedly.

Everyone sat up from their slouched positions and sat Indian style.

"So, what are everyone's New Year's resolutions? Tegan you start," Jenna asked.

"Well, to actually pick a career and stick with it. You're next Sirius," Tegan said shrugging.

"Mine? Hmm. I—I want to change a few negative thoughts I have about myself. You're next Prongs," as he took a swig from his butter beer.

James smiled. "I'd have to say this year I want to work past hope and go for something more solid," he said looking at Lily. Lily's mouth gaped open as she resembled a fish for a few seconds until she quickly shut her mouth and blushed instead.

"Your turn, Lily," James said still smiling.

Lily sat there for a minute thinking about what her resolution actually would be. She finally came to a conclusion. "Mine…to rethink the way I view things," Lily said twisting the ends of her hair, "your turn, Jen."

Oh Merlin, she said it. She said it quite cryptically, but she still said _something_. James' resolution was totally about her. The way he smiled at her when she said it. Maybe she was losing her mind. Today, this whole break—the year so far—has been too much already.

"Well, my resolution would be for Lily and James to _finally_ get together. You have no idea how long we've all been waiting!" Jenna said winking.

James spit out his butter beer and Lily turned a horrible shade of red and turned to look at Jenna.

"_Jenna_!" Lily screeched.

"What? I'm only telling the truth. Everyone here was thinking it, maybe even you," she said smiling.

"Here, here!" Sirius said raising his butter beer as Tegan joined him.

Lily hid her face in her hair. _Loons, all of them. _

"Happy New Year!" She heard Tegan yell.

Lily looked up as they had their bottles of butter beer raised. Lily grabbed hers and they clanked them together.

"Happy New Year, everyone!" They all said.

Soon hugs and kisses on the cheek were being distributed. When Lily hugged Sirius, he whispered in her ear how excited that she finally admitted to herself and everyone she fancied James. Lily slapped him on the arm, but smiled regardless. Lily felt a bit strange when it was her turn to hug James. It seems so much as transpired between them in such a short time.

After they all chatted for a bit longer, James and Sirius decided it was time to leave. Tegan and Jenna waved goodbye to the boys. Lily got up and showed them out. She hugged Sirius as he walked out of the door. James stood there in front of her.

"Were you serious, about your resolution?" James asked.

Lily nodded and then smiled.

James smiled back and leaned down and kissed her. It was a chaste kiss, but James put a lot of passion into it. Lily felt herself relax and reciprocate. He pulled away, his hazel eyes bright behind his glasses. He smiled again and waved goodbye. Lily shut the door behind her and walked back into the den.

* * *

Holiday seemed to whiz by. Previous holidays past with a snail's pace, but that was because Lily was usually stuck in a house with Petunia. So Vernon was a godsend, almost. It kept the two of them away from each other, thus decreasing the number of rows, and Petunia wouldn't have to be plagued by the sight of Lily.

But this holiday was different because Lily actually had fun. She got to see her mates and then some. She wasn't expecting to see James, nor Sirius, but she did. She was happy she saw them.

As she came back to school, things were a lot less stressful than they were when she entered the castle in August. This is how 6th year should feel—light, carefree and fun. And that's exactly how Lily felt, for once. Her mates noticed the change in her and welcomed it with open arms. They chalked her new change of mood to James. And they weren't far off.

Lily's views had changed, just as she proclaimed her resolution to be. She decided it was time to relax more—the calm before the storm. And she was. She wanted to look back on her years at Hogwarts and to see that not only did she work hard, but she did take time to enjoy her time there.

And then there was James. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe he wasn't such a horrible bloke. Maybe he mother was right, he seemed to be maturing a lot. He'd always be that snotty, prankster deep down, but Lily has come to know that as James.

Things were looking up. It seemed as if nothing could go wrong. But we all know that that is the worst statement anyone could speak aloud, let alone think. That's when someone that Lily dreaded ever seeing or hearing from, came back into her life.

Lily was working by herself in the library. She was writing an essay on Muffling Draught when_ he_ appeared. She was lost in her own little world, humming and writing, when _he_ cleared his throat. Lily looked up expecting to see James or Sirius, but she was dead wrong. She almost fell out of her chair at the sheer shock of it all.

There stood Severus Snape. He hadn't really changed. He was still lanky and thin with his greasy straight hair, but if it were possible, he looked even paler. Lily didn't know if it was because he was attempting to speak to her or if it was because of other reasons. Either way, Lily didn't want to know.

"Lily, I—I've wanted to speak to you for a long time," he started.

"You don't deserve to speak to me at all, Sev. You broke my heart. I thought you were better than that," Lily said through her teeth.

"I am, Lily! It was a mistake, a horrendous mistake. I would take it all back if I could go back in time. I've been trying to apologize all summer, but you ignored my owls. And you wouldn't come to the playground or anywhere near me," he said in a fierce whisper.

"You wonder why I wouldn't come near you, Sev! Are you thick? Has calling me a _M—Mudblood _made all logic fall out of your head!" Lily said progressively getting angrier.

"I wanted to explain. I need to explain, Lils!"

"No, Severus! You showed me your true colors. You lost all right to apologize. If you were truly sorry, you wouldn't have let it come out of your fucking mouth!" Lily yelled not caring anymore.

She quickly put her book, parchment, ink and quills into her bag and quickly stood up. Snape watched as she stood there with her fists clinched. Lily grabbed her bag and pivoted around. Just as she did, Snape grabbed her wrist. Lily quickly pulled it out of his grip.

"Leave me alone, Severus. You ruined our friendship and I couldn't possibly forgive you for such a thing," Lily said not turning around. Severus could hear the unshed tears in her voice and knew not to grab for her again.

Lily quickly strode out of the library, almost breaking into a full run once outside of it. She wanted, needed, to distance herself from that place. From him. She run as far as her legs could carry her. As she reached the 7th floor, she bent over in exertion.

"Hey, Lily. Are you okay?" She heard a male voice say. She almost wanted to run off again just so she didn't have to deal with anyone at the moment.

She slowly straightened herself to a standing position and shook her head not looking at him. James quickly strode around to face her. He saw that her face was red and so were her eyes. He gently grabbed her shoulder.

"What happened, Lily?" James asked quietly.

For a few moments Lily just bit her lip as her tears silently slid down her face.

"He…tried…talking…tome," Lily said through her tears.

Lily didn't have to explain who it was. He already knew. James grabbed Lily and wrapped her in his arms.

"I'm sorry, love. He didn't try to hurt you did he?"

Lily shook her head.

"What did he want?" James asked sounding angry.

Lily pulled back from him. "He wanted to apologize. I—I didn't want to hear it. I—I don't want to be his friend ever again. I don't know why he doesn't understand that!" Lily yelled.

"Lily, you don't have to ever be his friend again. I hope you would never trust that git ever again. I'll make him understand that you don't want him to speak to you," James said clinching his right fist.

Lily grabbed his fist and shook her head. "No, don't fight him. I just want it all to go away. I finally felt good enough to not worry about him and there he was, standing in front of my table in the library."

James grabbed Lily again and wrapped her in his arms. He couldn't stand by and watch as this arsehole could walk up to Lily whenever he bloody well pleased. He wanted to do something. Even if James didn't do something directly to him, he could still scare him enough not to fuck with Lily anymore.

James gently pushed Lily back. She looked up at him with a watery smile. James smiled down at her and returned the smile.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

James played with her hair. "You don't have to thank me. It's what I'm here for," he said matching her tone.

Lily nodded. "I think I'm going to go lay down for a bit."

"All right. I'll see you soon?" James asked.

Lily nodded and headed for the Fat Lady.

James waited until she climbed through the portrait hole until he took off down the stairs. He quickly whipped the map out and muttered the password. As soon as the map came to life, he searched for him. After a moment of searching, he found him. He was pacing around the dungeons.

James sped up and took a few shortcuts down to the dungeon. He didn't have a plan, but he didn't care. He just wanted to give that greasy git what he deserved. As James neared the end of the secret tunnel he was running down. He slowed his pace and quickly peeked out from the corner of a tapestry.

He spotted him. Snape was pacing the corridor with his hands behind his back. A plan finally formed in James' mind. He stayed where he was and as soon as Snape turned his back, James casted Petrificus Totalus. The spell hit Snape full in the back as his body began to lock up. James smirked to himself and started to walk over to Snapes' body.

James quickly cast Obscuro to place a blindfold over Snapes' eyes. He turned him over and watched the fear set in. Severus blanched. James held his wand to his neck and used a voice changer charm.

"Severus, this is to teach you a lesson. Now, listen well, if you ever go near, talk or look at Lily Evans again, I will do worse things to you than I currently am now," James' new voice said.

He took his wand away from his neck and bent over Severus' body. He smiled at his handy work and decided it needed something else. He raised his wand and slowly etched the word: MUDBLOOD on his forehead. James stood up straight and smiled. This should teach the ruddy prick. After he was done admiring his work, he quickly walked back to the tunnel he had come out of.

* * *

Lily lay on her bed. She almost wanted to draw her curtains and fall asleep. It was true she felt a bit better—thanks to James—but she couldn't help to still feel a bit down about the whole situation. As she lay there, she heard the door to her dorm open. She didn't bother looking to see who it was, she just didn't care.

"Lil?" Jenna called.

Lily sat up to look at her friend.

"Are you ok? James informed me you were a bit down," she said coming to sit on Lily's bed.

"I'll be all right," Lily said flatly.

"What happened?"

"I'll tell you the short version, Severus tried to speak to me. He tried to apologize while I was in the library. I freaked out on him and left in a hurry. I was doing so well and things were going quite well. Then he had to just show up out of nowhere," Lily said quietly.

"Are you serious? Why does that stupid prick think he can just speak to you after he said such unforgivable things! Honestly, I never liked him Lily, but I put up with him because he was your friend. I refuse to hold my tongue," Jenna said crossly.

"I don't want you flying off the handle because of this. I think he got the message. I hope he got the message. I just don't want to deal with him nor do I want others to make it bigger than it is," Lily said looking at Jenna sternly.

Jenna sat there playing with her hands. Lily quirked an eyebrow at her.

"What's wrong, Jen?" Lily asked slowly.

"Nothing. Why?" Jenna asked.

"Whenever you play with your hands like that, something's wrong," Lily said.

"Nothing's wrong. I swear," Jenna said with a strained smile.

"Jen, I've known you for 6 years now. You can't lie to me," Lily said with a small smile.

Jenna sighed. "You aren't going to like this."

Lily's smile slowly faded. Oh shit.

"Go on," Lily said stiffly.

"Okay, so someone may have already gotten to Snape. I don't know who, but I still think it's brilliant," Jenna said with a small smile.

"What do you mean 'someone's already gotten to Snape'?" Lily asked quietly.

"Well, someone bound his body, blindfolded him and wrote Mudblood on his head," Jenna said quickly.

Lily paled. She couldn't believe this. Who could have done this? Before she had to really think about it anymore, it popped into her head. James. Lily quickly stood up, alarming Jenna. Lily quickly walked to the door.

"Where are you going!" Jenna asked.

"I have to murder someone," Lily said simply and walked down the stairs to the common room.

Once she got down there, she looked around for the arse. It didn't take her long to find him. He was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room with all of his mates around him. Lily took a deep breath and marched right over to the group.

James looked up and smiled at her. "Hello, Lil."

"Don't 'hello Lil' me, Potter," Lily said sternly.

"Sorry? What's wrong? Feeling better?"

"No, I am not feeling any better. And you bloody know what's wrong with me!"

James looked worried. He quickly ran a hand through his wild mane. "Let's talk about this somewhere else, alone."

Lily nodded and followed James out of the common room. After walking for a bit, Lily started to get annoyed. She just wanted to go somewhere so she could yell at him. After a minute, they stopped in front of a large wall. Lily looked at James impatiently not understanding.

James didn't look at her, but simply began to pace. After his third sweep, a door materialized in front of their very eyes. Lily's eyes almost bugged out of her head. She looked at James who seemed unfazed.

He walked over to the door and opened it gesturing her to come inside. Lily walked over to it hesitantly. James didn't say anything, but simply rolled his eyes. As Lily walked in, the lights came on. She realized she was standing in a very comfortable sitting room. It had several comfortable chairs and a few tables. Lily was in complete shock. James came in and shut the door behind them.

"What is this place?" Lily asked looking around.

"The Room of Requirement," James said jumping into a chair.

"The Room of what?" Lily ask sitting down.

"The Room of Requirement. It's quite a nifty place. Imagine what you want, walk past the wall three times and tad ah," he said gesturing.

"You thought up this place?" Lily asked.

"Well, I modeled it after my den at home," James said with a shrug.

Lily nodded impressed. Lily shook herself mentally. She mustn't get distracted, she had a goal.

"Anyways, we need to talk," Lily said sounding business-like.

"What about?" James asked crossing his arms.

"You tell me. Jenna told me what you did," Lily said sitting back in her chair.

James' hand came up to ruffle his hair. It was almost as good as an omission.

"I haven't done anything," James said not looking at her.

"James, cut the shit. Just admit to it already."

For a moment it looked as if James was going to fight it. "All right. I messed with Sni—Snape."

"See, was that so hard? Why?"

"Be—because I didn't like him messing with you, ok? I don't want that slimy git talking to you. He doesn't deserve to," James said defensively.

"I know that and I'm grateful that you're willing to defend my honor, but I didn't want this to get out of hand. I lashed out at him when he tried to apologize to me earlier, but from now on I'm going to ignore him. Thanks, but no thanks."

"Why Lily? He fucking deserves it and you know it!" James bellowed.

"I know he deserved it, but it's not your fight. It's between Severus and me. I can handle this on my own," Lily said quietly.

"That isn't fair. Your fights are my fights. Plus, if I hadn't fucked with him, he wouldn't have called you that filthy word!"

"You don't know that and neither do I. He could have called me that at any time. Why do you think my fights are your fights? James, we aren't dating and even if we were, I'd still handle this on my own."

"Why? Why are you so hardheaded? I want to be there to help you and you aren't letting me. For years I've waited to be there to protect you and you still won't fucking let me?" James yelled getting to his feet.

"It's not about letting you or not. It's about sticking up for myself. You can't be around all the time. So what am I supposed to do, play damsel in distress all the time? No, I wouldn't even let myself do that. I'm not that type of girl."

"I know you aren't Lily, but as whatever I am to you, I want to protect you as much as possible," James sighed.

"And I appreciate that, I really do. I thank you, but I have to be strong for myself. I have to learn to protect myself. I'm tired of getting stepped on. It's my turn to do it. I'm not saying I won't ever let you protect me. Just let me learn, please?" Lily asked scooting to the end of her seat and looking him straight in the eye.

James looked at her for the longest time until he nodded his head. "Fine. As much as I don't like it, I'll let you, but don't think you'll be completely on your own."

"I know that. Somehow you're always lurking around somewhere," Lily said with a small smile.

James smiled back. He stood up rather abruptly and strode over to Lily's chair. She looked up at the boy in front of her. Her breath caught in her throat. He was beautiful. Over the years, James grew out of his nerdy look that he had as an eleven year old and grown to be actually quite good looking. Lily silently sighed to herself.

James grabbed her by the arms and lifted her up to standing position. They continued to stare into each other's eyes. He slowly bent down and placed his forehead on hers.

"You know you're the most stubborn, infuriating woman I have ever chased after," James said softly.

"I can only imagine. I infuriate myself, believe it or not," Lily said just as softly.

James let out a low chuckle. Before Lily knew it, James' mouth was upon hers. It was needy and warm. Lily quickly reciprocated. She couldn't help herself if James was an excellent snogger. Who was she to deny herself of such pleasures?

As their kiss deepened, Lily's brain began to turn into mush. It seemed James had the power to relax her, to take away all of her worries and stressors. He was intoxicating in a way.

As Lily really began to enjoy their snogfest, she felt James quickly pull away. Lily opened her eyes and stared at him confused. James' feature seemed to light up.

"Lily," he breathed.

"Hmm?"

"Go out with me," he said smiling brightly.

Lily's jaw almost dropped. Things were going fantastic and now he brings up dating.

"Lil, what's wrong?" He asked as he watched shock, horror and something else pass over her features.

"It's just so sudden," Lily said robotically.

"What do you mean? I've been asking you out for a year straight."

"Yes, but I just really came to the conclusion that I fancy you, James. I need to get used to this whole thing. We used to hate each other and now I fancy you. It's a lot to take in. Plus, you've had years to think about this. Four years to be exact."

"How did you know that? I suppose I understand. I have had a long time to think about this, but what's the matter? You fancy me and I fancy you."  
"Sirius told me. It's not that black and white, James. I want to get to know you better. I don't want to just rush into this and then you find out that I'm not what you thought or something," Lily said desperately.

James looked over Lily's left shoulder for awhile. Lily looked at him biting her lip.

"It's just so hard. I've wanted to be with you for so long. And now it's as if I'm living in a dream. You actually fancy me back. Lily, I hate to break it to you and I know who you are and I know being with you is the right choice. And I'm sorry that I'm rushing. I just want to be with you," he said looking back into her eyes.

Lily kissed James briefly on the lips. "And we will be together. I promise you that. Just let me get to know you better like you seem to know me. And I'll feel better about this. I won't feel like we're rushing into this."

James nodded. "I can live with that."

"Thank you," she said hugging him.

"Anything for you," he said softly into her hair.

They pulled apart and smiled at each other.

"We should probably get out of here. Our mates are probably looking for us," Lily said stepping back.

"Possibly," James said walking over to the door.

With one last look at each other, they left the Room of Requirement.

* * *

In the next few weeks, the dynamics of Lily and James' relationship changed. It was more flirty and carefree instead of the usual arguing and forcefulness. It seemed as if everyone in the castle had noticed this subtle change. Lily didn't care in the least. She was happy and didn't care who knew it.

One night after dinner, the Marauders, Lily, Tegan and Jenna began walking out of the Great Hall back to Gryffindor Tower. As they made their way there, the Marauders stopped on the staircase on the 4th floor. Lily, Tegan and Jenna all stopped and looked at them confused.

"Aren't you guys coming?" Tegan asked.

"Nah, we have to stop and do something. You guys go on without us," James said.

"Prongs, it's almost time," Peter said.

"I'll be right there, guys. You can go on without me," James said as he looked at Lily.

"Um, Lil, we'll see you back in the dorm," Jenna said grabbing Tegan's arm and whisking her up the stairs.

After everyone was out of sight, Lily turned to James. "What's going on?"

"The lads and I have to take care of something," James said slowly.

"What kind of something?" Lily asked back just as slow.

"You know the thing you saw last year—that."

"I see. Why?"

"Again, that's complicated. Maybe I'll get to explain one day."

"Hopefully. Well, please be careful. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" Lily said biting her lip.

"Of course. Sleep well," James said hugging her and giving her a swift peck on the lips.

Lily nodded and continued up the stairwell. The whole time she ascended the stairs she looked down at James as he looked down at her. When he couldn't see her any longer, he ran down to the hospital wing.

* * *

It was almost midnight as Lily sat on her bed with one side of her curtains open. She was lying on her stomach as she read of the novels Tegan got her for Christmas. For some reason she decided to walk over to the window. It was as if something was calling to her.

She slowly got off the bed and walked to the window. As she did, the clouds slowly exposed the moon. It was full and beautiful. She closed her eyes for a moment basking in the moonlight. As she slowly opened them again, she saw a silver stag standing on the hill beneath her window.

Lily quietly gasped as she watched the stag. It had to be James. She knew it. The stag seemed to look up at her. It was James.  
She continued to watch the stag until the large dog came up to it. They both took off towards the woods. Lily wanted to watch the stag/James more, but he was gone. She could always go down to the lake and wait for him to re-emerge. She wasn't the least bit tired and the March air would do her some good.

Lily quickly walked over to her bed. She put on a pair of sweat pants and a jumper. She grabbed one of her cloaks and put on her trainers and she was off. After she cleared the portrait hole, she slowly walked down to the entrance. Thankfully she didn't run into Mrs. Norris or Filch. She quickly and quietly unlocked the door and slipped out.

As she walked on the dew covered grass, she took a deep breath in. With fresh air in her lungs and the thrill of seeing James, Sirius and Peter in their Animagus form. She reached the tree next to the lake and sat down on her cloak. She brought her book out with her simply because she didn't know when she'd see them.

She didn't have to wait long. Lily heard several sounds coming out of the woods. She quickly set her book down and scooted closer to the tree. First she saw the large dog sprint out of the Forbidden Forest first, after him was the stag and chasing after them was the werewolf. Lily almost cried out in shock. She wasn't expecting the werewolf again. Yes, it was a full moon, but she didn't think James, Sirius and Peter were stupid enough to provoke it again.

Lily sat back watching as the werewolf chased the stag and dog around. Trying to scratch and bite them as many times as it could. Lily's stomach was in knots. She was worried that the werewolf would get them. Soon it seemed the werewolf was directly behind Sirius. Lily always jumped up in fright. She had to do something. James seemed to come out of nowhere and ram the werewolf with its horns. Sirius scampered away as the werewolf turned on James.

This time Lily did jump up in fright. She made a small noise. She quickly clapped a hand over her mouth. She hoped against hope that they didn't hear her.

The werewolf stopped in its tracks. It cocked its head back and howled. Lily shivered as the eerie sound went through the crystal clear night. The werewolf seemed to forget about the stag and dog. It looked around and seemed to look over at area Lily was hidden. Oh shit.  
Lily didn't know what to do. Did she make a run for it? Werewolves were quick and even though Lily was pretty fit she didn't stand a chance. Did she stay there? Could she charm the beast if it came over to where she stood frozen?

The werewolf slowly stalked around the lake. It was now or never. Lily sprinted for the castle. The door wasn't that far away. She ran with all of her might. She heard the werewolf howl again and start chasing after her. Lily let out a whimper as she pounded her legs as fast as she could. As she ran, she could see the door looming closer and closer, but as she ran around a bush, she slipped on the wet grass.

Lily panicked. She tried to get herself up as quick as she could. She could hear the werewolf mere feet from her. She got up and continued to run. As she did, she heard a great bark and a clatter of hooves. Sirius and James. Lily quickly looked over her shoulder and saw Sirius bite the werewolf on one of its hind legs. James quickly ambushed the werewolf and rammed into its left side.

The werewolf whimpered in pain. Lily didn't dare look back again, even if her brain told her to. She made it to the door. She quickly opened it and rushed inside. She locked it as fast as she could. Lily wanted to collapse on the ground, but she had to get back to her bed. She didn't want to get caught by someone.

Lily slowly climbed the stairs up to Gryffindor Tower. She was so out of breath. She hadn't run like that in her entire 17 years of life. When her heart finally started to calm down, she tried looking out of every window she came to, to see a glimpse of James or Sirius. They weren't anywhere on the ground. Lily was worried.

Lily finally made it to the 7th floor. She gave the Fat Lady the password and almost collapsed on the floor of the common room. Instead, she started walking over to the couch. She could rest there for a few moments and then head up to her bed. When she looked at the couch, someone was already sitting there. It was James.

"How are you here?"

"That doesn't matter," he said harshly.

Lily winced. She wasn't ready for this conversation.

"I know it was stupid of me to be out there," Lily stated.

"No shit, Lily! What the fuck were you thinking?" James asked almost ripping his hair out.

As Lily sat down on the opposite side of the couch, she noticed James had several cuts and bruises. Lily almost let out a gasp.

"You should get looked at. Those cuts and bruises look nasty."

"I'll be fine, Lily. What were you thinking?" He asked again turning completely towards her.

"I wasn't thinking. I saw you out of the window and I just wanted to see you close up again. It was a stupid idea."

"It really was. You could have gotten bit or worse, kil—I don't want to think about it! If Sirius and I hadn't realized M—the werewolf was after you, terrible things could have happened!"

"I'm sorry! I saw the werewolf going after you and Sirius and I got so worried. I didn't think I'd make a sound, but I was wrong."

"Lily, this situation is terribly dangerous. You must know that. You're a smart girl. Please don't ever do that again!"

"I won't, I promise," Lily said looking into the fire.

She felt James scoot over to her side of the couch. He placed a hand around her shoulders.

"You're not cross with me?" Lily asked flatly.

"I'm extremely cross. I thought you were smarter than that? But I was also scared for your safety! You have no idea. As soon as I saw him going for you, I went crazy."

Lily leaned into James. "I'm so sorry. I just wanted to see you again. I'm sorry I put you in danger."

"Me? I was fine Lily. I know how to handle him. You, on the other hand, need to worry about yourself. We had that talk didn't we? And look, I had to save your arse. Maybe I should be protecting you more," James said the last part mostly to himself.

"Maybe, but I'm not giving that a serious answer right now. Where's Sirius and Peter?"

"They're still outside," James said casually.

"What! You left them to deal with that thing alone?" Lily asked in horror.

"They'll be fine for a bit. I just needed to speak to you. Now, no more going outside on full moons. Go to bed. I'll see you later," James said kissing her temple.

"Be careful. And you don't have to worry about me coming out there."

"Good."

Lily stood up and started for the girl's stairwell. She stopped and turned around. "James?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"You're fucking lucky I fancy the hell out of you," he said with a smile.

Lily shook her head and walked up the stairs.

* * *

After that night, Lily never brought up anything about their little talents. Things seemed to simmer down and go back to normal. It was the end of the year now. The year went by quickly. So much had happen.

Lily started fancying James, she almost got bitten and/or mauled by a werewolf and Sev had tried speaking to her. She couldn't believe it. Years at Hogwarts had never been this busy and "exciting". What was happening to her?

She wouldn't change it for anything except maybe not seeing or talking to Severus, but in a way it was ok. She finally got to give him a piece of her mind. It was needed so she could stop thinking about it as well as Sev getting the picture.

Lily felt a lot closer to James and the Marauders. She knew a bit more of their secrets. She got to know more about James. He wasn't as obnoxious as he was years again. He still had his quirks—pranking and ruffling his damn hair—and Lily grew to love them. Lily seemed to like James more and more as the days went by.

Whenever they were together things almost always seemed to fit into place. She always felt great around him. And her mates loved him. What more could a girl ask for? She could almost say she loved James Potter. And that was terrifying to her. One year she hated the bloke and now she may love him…

Lily was ready for her last summer as a Hogwart student. She was ready for her last year at Hogwarts. She was ready for a lot of things. She felt as if this year expedited her growth, knowledge and maturity. Lily Evans was ready to dates James Potter and finally give him everything he wanted. And everything she wanted.

* * *

**A/N:** OH MY GOSH! I'm finally done with this chapter. This is the longest thing I have EVER written. It makes up for the time I haven't updated. So, I hope you love it. Sorry it took me so long, but I think 41 pages makes up for it. It's like I couldn't stop if there's spelling/grammar errors. It's 3 am. :D

Well, reviews are freaking amazing. Keep em coming! Especially after this monster of a chapter. Let's see if chapter 8 is as long as this. Well, I'm done. My wrists hurt. LOL


	8. Bitter Sweet

**Author's note:**

Hello! Now for my apology:

My laptop decided it wanted to be an ass, so I needed to get it fixed. (It is now fixed, thank goodness)

I'm sorry it took over 2 months. I had no intention of waiting that long. D:

I'm sorry this took so long! I love you all who are still waiting and reading this.

Wah! All right, enough complaining from me.

ALSO! This is a big one, mature content this chapter. Just a heads up!

P.S. - This is the last chapter. (Don't worry there'll be a epilogue)

**Disclaimer:** The wonderful JKR owns all things Harry Potter.

* * *

**Chapter eight: **  
**Bitter Sweet**

This was Lily's last summer being a Hogwarts student. It was a bitter sweet feeling. She was sad that she had one more year, but kind of happy it was all almost over. She'd be on her own soon. _On her own._

Lily got quite a bit of news over the summer. One, Petunia and Vernon announced their engagement. Needless to say, no one was surprised. Two, James and Sirius were heading to France for the summer. Lily was quite dismayed by this bit of news. She wanted to see James and Sirius over the holiday. Especially James. She wanted to tell him that she was ready. Three, she found out Snape was missing. She saw posters with his face on it. It worried her, but she then remembered everything that happened between them.

Petunia and Vernon's engagement wasn't a shocker to anyone in the family. It was just a matter of when for them. Neither Lily nor her father liked Vernon. The two of them would always have a laugh at his expense when he and Petunia came over for dinner. Lily's mum tolerated Vernon mainly because he made Petunia happy. She would always give Lily and her husband stern looks whenever they would poke fun at Vernon. Lily couldn't stand Vernon. It was okay because he didn't much care for Lily either. Lily was at least happy that Petunia was happy even if she didn't much care about Lily anymore.

"So, Petunia, Vernon, have you picked a date yet?" Elaine asked one night over dinner.

"We were thinking either August of September," Petunia answered.

"That s not very far away," her mother said thinking.

"If it's in September, I'll be back in school," Lily blurted out.

Petunia glared at Lily. Lily averted her eyes and looked down at her plate.

"That s true. Plus, in August it'd still be rather warm," Elaine said shrugging.

Petunia continued to stare at Lily and answered her mother.

"We'll think about it," Petunia said stiffly.

They all returned to eating. Lily felt the tension and awkwardness in the small room. She ate as quickly as she could so she could get out of there.  
She ran up to her room and leapt on her bed. She lay on her back and stared at her purple ceiling. As she laid there and thought, she heard a tap at her window. She slowly sat up and saw a familiar eagle owl tapping its beak on her window. Lily smiled to herself and quickly walked over to the window. She opened it and the gorgeous bird flew in and landed on the end of her bed. She grabbed an owl treat and offered it to the bird. It took it as it gave her his leg. She took the letter and quickly opened it.

_~Lils_

_I know it has been only a week and I miss you already. I have bad news, Sirius (who says hello and misses you as well) and I are heading to France with my family for the summer. I don't want to go because I rather lounge about with you and the Marauders. We haven't seen the family in years (my mum's side). I was half tempted to apparated over to your house, just so I could see you. Well, owl me back. I want to at least hear from you._  
_-James_

Lily smiled and quickly grabbed parchment and a quill.

_James-_  
_I miss you as well! I d love to see you before you left. So, apparating here isn't such a bad idea. Hopefully I'll hear from you or see you soon._  
_~Lily_

She tied the note to Henri, James owl, and he took off. Lily lay back down on her bed and re-read the letter. She couldn't help but smile as she read it over and over. It wasn't long until she got a reply back from James.

_~Lil_

_I'll see you at midnight._  
_-James_

Lily couldn't help it. She jumped for joy. She'd get to see James before he left for France.

* * *

Lily paced around her room as she saw the clock creeping ever closer to midnight. He'd be there soon. What she going to do? Hug him? Kiss him?

She heard a popping sound and saw James Potter standing there. She was glad she had used a silencing charm earlier. She quickly ran over to him practically leaping on him. James wrapped his arms around her. She pushed him gently back. They smiled at each other broadly.

"I'm so glad to see you," James said grinning from ear to ear.

"Me too," Lily said kissing him.

James was taken aback a bit and then launched full force into the kiss.

They both snogged the other into mush. When they pulled back, they were both out of breath and flushed.

"Merlin, Lil," James said panting.

"That was brilliant," Lily said smiling.

"You know blind apparition isn't as bad as the professors made it out to be. I just kept thinking about your bedroom and you. Sure, I know where you live, but I've never been in your bedroom."

"Obviously," Lily said sarcastically.

They both went to sit on her bed.

"Does Sirius know you left?" Lily asked lightly.

"Yeah, he didn't care. He was pretty happy that you wanted to see me," James said smirking at her.

"Oh, Sirius," Lily said smirking back at him.

"You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you while I m gone," James said sounding serious.

"I'll miss you as well. It just sucks that you and Sirius won't be here for my sister's wedding," Lily said looking down at the quilt on her bed.

"Why's that?" James asked cocking his head to the side.

"Well, she and my soon-to-be-brother-in-law don't quite like me. Petunia dislikes me for one reason and Vernon, because I'm strange. I rather not endure that alone," Lily said with a weak smile.

"Why does your sister dislike you?" James asked scooting closer to her.

Lily sucked a large breath in.

"Well, because I m a witch. She calls me a freak and it's been this way since I was eleven."

James hugged her to him.

"I'm sorry, Lil. I had no idea."

"No one really does except Tegan and Jen. I don't talk about it much," she said with a shrug.

"I'm still sorry. I couldn't imagine that if I had a sibling."

Lily simply nodded and nestled into him. They were quiet for awhile until Lily broke it.

"So why are you going to France?"

"Oh, visiting the family. I love my mum's side of the family. I m excited because I don t get to see them very often, but I'm upset that I won't be able to stay in England for the summer. I don t want to leave you," he said tenderly.

"I don't want you to leave me either, but I want you to spend time with your family. Especially since you don't get to see your mum's side of the family very often," Lily said biting her lip.

"I'm sure time will go quickly and you'll be too busy to miss me," James said with an over exaggerated sigh.

"Bollocks! You're going to be too busy to miss me," Lily said with a fake pout.

"That's the most ridiculous lie you've ever told Lily Evans," James said with a chuckle.

"So you won't be too busy to miss me?" Lily asked with wide eyes.

"I'm never too busy to miss you," he said kissing her gently.

Lily deepened the kiss and before they knew it, they were having a snogfest. After awhile, they pulled apart so that they could breathe. The two teenagers looked at each other and smiled broadly.

James looked at Lily s clock and gasped.

"Shit! It s almost 2 am. I should go," he said sorrowfully.

"Right," Lily said biting her lip again.

"I'm sorry, Lil."

"I know," she said with a small smile.

James kissed her one last time and apparated. Lily lay back down on her bed and sighed. James Potter brought out the very best and worst in her.

* * *

The next morning, Lily drug herself out of bed. She looked at her clock and saw it to be only 9:16 am. She groaned and slowly walked downstairs. As she walked towards the kitchen, she heard her mum and sister arguing.

"I don't want her in my wedding! She'd muck it all up!" Petunia practically screeched.

"Petunia, she's your baby sister; you're only sister at that! Why wouldn't she be in your wedding?" Elaine asked as her temper rose.

"Because she's a freak!" Petunia bellowed as if her mother hadn't heard her the first time.

"Petunia, your sister is not a freak. Stop calling her that!"

"She's a freak! But you and dad don't see that. She's your perfect gifted, _freak_ of a daughter!" Petunia spat.

Lily heard Petunia storm off and slam the front door behind her. Lily instantly started nibbling on her lip.

It was no secret that she and Petunia don't get along. Nevertheless, it still hurt hearing Petunia saying she didn't want Lily in her wedding. It still hurt hearing her call her names even though she's not eleven anymore.

Lily loved Petunia regardless of what she thought or said about her. She knew their relationship would never be the same again. She knew Petunia would always be her older sister in a sense, but not the way Lily wanted her to be. It was heartbreaking. No matter how much time has passed, the rift between them only grows larger. It seems no matter how much Lily tries to salvage their relationship, Petunia resists. So Lily gave up. She couldn't take this constant cycle of trying, resisting and fighting. Lily keeps the Old Petunia in her memories as Petunia keeps the Old Lily in her memories.

When Lily got out of her thoughts and entered the kitchen, her mother wasn't present. How long was I thinking? She shrugged and thought it was probably a good thing her mother wasn't there. Lily quickly poured herself a bowl of cereal and ate in silence as her thoughts whirled around in her head.

* * *

Elaine entered the kitchen and discovered Lily picking at her breakfast.

"Hello, Lily dear," she said brightly.

"Morning mum," Lily said flatly.

"What's wrong?" Elaine asked as her brow puckered.

"Nothing," Lily said with a small smile.

Elaine put her hands on her hips.

"Lily Elizabeth Evans, I know when something's wrong. Now talk to me."

Lily bit her lip and nodded.

"Well, I overheard your conversation with Petunia," Lily said slowly.

"Oh. Don't mind her, darling. The stress from planning the wedding is getting to her," Elaine said rubbing Lily's back.

"Mum, you don't have to cover up for her. She hates me and I've come to terms with it," Lily said looking at her soggy breakfast.

"Lily, don't say that! Your sister loves you," her mum said softly.

"I want to believe that. I really do, but the evidence is there. She's hated me since I was 11!"

"No, dear. She doesn't hate you. You know how it was when you got your letter from Hogwarts. Deep down you know she loves you."

Lily nodded and continued to pick at her food.

"I love you, Lils."

"I love you, too, mum."

They sat there for a few minutes in silence until Elaine broke it.

"Are you bringing anyone to the wedding?" Elaine asked with a wink.

Lily smiled at her.

"I was going to, but they'll be out of the country."

"Are you talking about that bloke with the black, unruly hair and the spectacles that was here during New Years?" Elaine asked with a cheeky smile.

Lily blushed to the roots of her auburn hair.

"Ah ha! I see. Tell me about him."

Lily blushed again.

"Well, I'm waiting," her mum said with a smile.

"His names is James Potter. He's in the same year and House as me. He's a Pure Blood, but he's not into the whole Pure Blood Mania. He's liked me for years, but I couldn't stand him. Now, that's changed," Lily said quietly.

"Are you dating him?" Elaine asked with wide eyes.

"No, not yet. I haven't told him about how I really feel yet."

"What are you waiting on? He's a good-looking bloke!"

"Mum!" Lily said covering her face.

"What? He is," Elaine said with a shrug and a smile.

"I can't believe my own mum thinks James Potter is good-looking."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"You're just like all of the girls at Hogwarts!"

"Well, I'm sorry. There's no denying the truth, Lily," Elaine said laughing.

Lily scowled at her mother as she left the room.

"Aw, how sweet. Lily has a crush. Is he a _freak_ as well?" Petunia asked coming into the kitchen.

"Don't worry about it, Petunia," Lily said not looking at her.

"Oh, I'm just curious," she said sitting down.

"Why?" Lily asked narrowing her eyes at her.

"Someone has caught the elusive Lily Evans' eye," Petunia said with a sneer.

"Bugger off," Lily said standing up.

"Oh, Lily I'm only curious," Petunia said smiling at Lily.

Lily stared at her sister. She didn't know if her smile was genuine or not. She wasn't going to fall into Petunia's trap.

"So tell me about him," Petunia prodded.

"Again, why do you care?" Lily asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're my baby sister. I want to know what kind of man is in your life," Petunia said sounding actually genuine.

Lily was taken aback. Why was Petunia being so nice to her now? What was the motive behind this?

"Well, I'm waiting," Petunia said tapping her foot.

"Fine. His name is James and he goes to school with me," Lily paused looking at Petunia's face for her reaction. There wasn't one, so Lily went on, "we're in the same year and house."

"That's all? What made him so special that he caught your eye?" Petunia asked leaning forward.

Lily blushed.

"I don't know. One year I hated the bloke, the next it felt like I fell for him. It's the strangest thing," Lily said relaxing.

"I don't believe you hated him like you say you did. Why would you just randomly fall for him if that were the case? Sure, he may have matured or whatever, but I think deep down you always liked him. You were just too stubborn to admit it," Petunia said with a small laugh.

"I doubt it, Tuney. If you saw this guy, you'd think the same thing. He was an insufferable toe rag that would follow me around whilst getting himself and his mates into trouble. It was maddening."

Petunia smiled at the term of endearment Lily used. "Well, Lils, you can't help but feel flattered that the guy was determined. It's quite cute. Now, is he cute?"

"Petunia! You're engaged!" Lily said laughing.

"So? I'm simply asking for your sake."

Lily smiled at her sister. "He's really good looking. He's at least six feet tall, lean but a bit muscular because he plays a sport, unruly black hair, dazzling hazel eyes and glasses," Lily sighed to herself.

"He sounds perfect, for you," Petunia said smiling at her sister.

"Thanks, Tuney," Lily said quietly.

"Well, I should, er, probably go," Petunia said standing up.

"Oh, ok," Lily said watching her go.

* * *

Planning for the wedding was quickly consuming the better part of Lily's summer. Her days consisted of waking up early, helping Petunia and her mother with whatever they needed to do that day, writing her best friends about the horrors she has to live through and thinking about James (and Sirius). She was wondering what they were doing and if they were having fun. She missed them. She felt she would be more relaxed if they were in the country. Lily sighed to herself.

Today was going to be another busy day. She was to go with Petunia and her mother to pick out their dresses. _Joy_. She was glad that the planning was almost over and it was almost time to actually have the damn wedding. She and her father were secretly counting down the days until all of this craziness was over.

"Lily, are you ready?" Her mother called from downstairs.

Lily quickly walked downstairs. She knew that if she were to drag her feet, Petunia would make her life a living hell. So, Lily quickly walked into the living room and stood in front of her mother.

"Good, now we can leave."

Lily nodded and followed her mother outside and into the car.

The car ride was uneventful. Lily simply blocked out all of Petunia's ranting and raving. It was bad enough she had to be stuck in a dress shop with her until who knows when.

Elaine parked the car and the three of them scrambled out of the car. As soon as they got into the shop, the woman working there instantly swooped down on them.

"Hello, girls! What can I help you with?" She asked cheerfully, too cheerful for Lily's liking.

"Hello, well my daughters are here to be fitted and to pick out their dresses," Elaine said cheerfully back.

Lily rolled her green eyes at her mother's cheerfulness. How could she be so cheerful so early in the morning whilst planning this ridiculous wedding? One of the many mysteries of the world.

"So, who is the bride?" The woman, Liz, asked.

"I am," Petunia said with an air of superiority.

Liz nodded and looked at Lily. "You must be the Maid of Honor."

Lily nodded her head.

"All right, follow me girls," Liz said walking farther into the shop.

Once they reached their destination, she quickly turned to them and smiled.

"So, Petunia, what type of dress are you looking for?"

As Petunia began her tirade of what she wanted and didn't want her dress to be like, Lily quickly turned her out and walked to a rack of dresses. Lily was in her own world thinking about her own wedding. _My wedding? _Lily quickly mentally shook herself. One, she and James weren't even officially together. Two, who knew if she and James would last. She knew what James was like, but did James really know what she was like? Sure he stalked her for the past 6 years, but did he really know her like he thought he did? Lily started to panic. What if she wasn't what he wanted after all these years? She had finally fallen for the boy and now she was unsure if she would live up to his standards.

"Lily? Lily!" She heard her name being called. She quickly turned around and saw her mother standing there.

"Sorry, mum. What did you say?"

"I was just wondering where you roamed off to."

"I was just looking at dresses."

"Are you feeling ok, Lily? You're looking rather pale," Elaine said walking closer to her youngest daughter.

"I'm fine, mum," Lily said with what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

"All right. Just making sure, dear. Now come, I think your sister has found her dress."

Lily took her mum's hand and they walked back to where Petunia waited.

Lily was shocked when she saw her older sister. The dress she wore was perfect. It had short lace sleeves that were loose around her skinny arms. The bodice was formfitting, but conservative. The bottom flared out about her waist. All-in-all, Lily thought she looked beautiful.

"Tuney, you look…gorgeous," Lily breathed.

Petunia stopped admiring herself in the mirror and turned to her sister.

"Thank you, Lily," she said quietly.

Lily simply nodded.

Lily looked over at her mother and saw that she had unshed tears in her eyes. Lily put an arm around her and smiled. Elaine returned the smile and looked at Petunia again.

"Lily, did you find a dress?" Elaine asked her youngest daughter.

"No, I should probably go do that," Lily said walking towards the rack she was at before.

After searching for what seemed like forever, Lily found it. She quickly ran into the area where Petunia tried on her dress. Petunia was now dressed in her normal clothes and she and their mother were sitting talking quietly.

"I found it! What do you think?" Lily asked holding up the dress.

The dress was a soft yellow color that came to Lily's knees. It had thick straps on either side with off-white lace in between the straps to form a collar. It was simple, but elegant.

"I like it a lot. Maybe there's still hope for you," Petunia said with a small smile.

Lily rolled her eyes and smiled back at her sister.

Elaine burst into a fresh wave of tears.

"Mum, what's wrong?" Lily asked.

"I'm just so happy. Petunia's getting married and she looks so gorgeous in her dress. And you're her Maid of Honor and you're going to look beautiful as well. My girls are growing up," Elaine said in between sniffs.

"Oh, mum. We'll always be your little girls," Lily said walking over to their mother.

"I know, but it's still so hard to take."

"It'll be all right, mum," Petunia said.

Elaine looked at them both and smiled while wiping her eyes.

"Lily, go try on your dress," Petunia said.

Lily nodded and walked over to the dressing room.

Moments later, Lily came out slowly. Petunia and Elaine sat up and stared at her. Lily feeling self conscious blushed.

"Lily, you look amazing!" Elaine said clapping her hands.

"That dress does look great on you," Petunia agreed.

"Thanks," Lily mumbled.

Lily turned and looked at herself in the mirror and was taken aback by what she saw. The dress did look nice on her. It hugged her slim figure and flared out at her waste.

"All right! We got everything we need. Let's go pay for these and go home," Elaine said smiling.

Lily quickly changed out of her dress and headed to the cashier with her mother and sister.

* * *

Two weeks passed uneventfully. The wedding was in one days and everything seemed to be running smoothly besides the occasional bitch fit Petunia threw. Lily invited Tegan and Jenna to the wedding so she wouldn't have to suffer through the event alone.

Even though Lily was dreading this wedding, she was happy for her sister. Petunia was happy even if she was marrying a complete idiot, but if Petunia was happy so was Lily. Things seemed to be ok between them since the day at the dress shop. Lily was a bit wary of this change, but she welcomed it at the same time.

The wedding was to be held at the large Catholic Church outside town. Lily wasn't really religious, but she had to admit the church was beautiful. This decision was made by Vernon and his family. Petunia quickly obliged.

Lily was extremely grateful that Jenna and Tegan got to stay over the day before the wedding. She needed people, that weren't her family, to keep her sane. Plus, she wanted to know what's been happening in the magical world.

"Lily, your friends have arrived!" Her father called from downstairs.

Lily launched herself down the steps. She was quickly covered in hugs.

"I missed you guys!" Lily said smiling at her two friends.

"Oh, we missed you as well. We have so much to tell you!" Jenna squealed.

"Well, dinner is almost ready girls," Elaine said coming out from the kitchen.

"Hello, Mrs. Evans!" Tegan and Jenna said in unison.

"Hello girls," she said smiling at them before disappearing into the kitchen.

"Come on. Let's put your stuff upstairs," Lily said.

They followed Lily up to her room and sat on her bed.

"So, what's been going on?" Lily asked.

"Well, Jenna has a boyfriend," Tegan said smirking at her.

"What! Who? Details!" Lily exclaimed.

"If you _MUST _know, I'm now dating Robert Burns," Jenna said turning red.

"The boy you snogged last summer?" Lily asked with a smile on her face.

"Yes. He's more than a great snogger," Jenna said with a shrug.

"Aw, our little Jenna is growing up," Tegan said with a laugh.

Lily joined in.

"So, what's been going on with you Miss Lily?" Jenna asked.

"Honestly, nothing. I've just been immersed in this wedding," Lily said with a shrug.

"You haven't heard from James?" Tegan asked.

"No, not since I saw him the night before he left."

"Sirius hasn't owled you either?" Jenna asked.

"No. I'm sure they're both too busy to write. I'll be happy to see them once school starts."

"So when are you and dearest James going to officially go out?" Jenna asked eagerly.

"I don't know," Lily said with a laugh as she blushed.

"Dinner's ready, girls!" Elaine called from downstairs.

"You're lucky your mum called for us or we'd be asking a lot more questions," Tegan said with a smirk.

Lily rolled her eyes and headed downstairs with her best mates.

* * *

"Lily, wake up," her mother called.

Lily opened a green eye and saw her mother's blurry form standing over her.

"What time is it?" Lily asked rubbing her eyes.

"It's almost 8 a.m."

Lily instantly lay back down.

"Lily, you must get up! You have to get ready!" Elaine said ripping the covers off of her daughter.

Lily sighed and sat up. Lily wasn't a morning person. With Petunia getting married so early, Lily wasn't particularly happy.

"Good, now that you're up, you can go shower. I'll have breakfast ready."

"What about Tegan and Jenna?" Lily whined.

"You can wake them up after you're done showering."

"That isn't fair."

"Life isn't fair, Lily. You're also your sister's Maid of Honor, so therefore you have a lot more to worry about. Now, into the shower you go," Elaine said with a smile.

Lily glared at her mother and headed across the hallway to the bathroom.

When Lily was done showering, she discovered both of her mates were up already.

"Good morning!" Jenna said cheerfully.

Lily grunted.

"Oh, Lils, stop being such a grouch. Your sister is getting married today and from what you told me your dress is smashing," Jenna said with a smile.

"What are you two doing up already?" Lily asked sitting on her bed.

"We're always up early. It's you that we have to wake up usually," Tegan said smirking at her.

"Well, you're bloody both nutters to _want_ to be up this early in the day."

"After almost 7 years, you tend to get used to it," Tegan said.

"I never have and never will," Lily said drying her hair with her wand.

"Obviously," Jenna said quietly.

"What was that, Jen?" Lily asked.

"Nothing," Jenna said with a laugh.

After Jenna and Tegan got ready, the three girls headed downstairs for breakfast.

It was a cornucopia of sorts when they saw the kitchen. Elaine had outdone herself. There were pancakes, waffles, muffins, eggs and several breakfast meats.

"Wow, mum. You have clearly outdone yourself. Also, you must have been up since dawn to cook all of this," Lily said sitting down.

"Yes, Mrs. Evans you are amazing," Tegan said sitting next to Lily.

"Mrs. Evans this all looks delicious," Jenna said sitting opposite of the two girls.

"Thanks, girls. I couldn't sleep! I was just so excited," Elaine said sitting down at the table as well.

"Good morning, girls," Geoffrey said walking into the kitchen.

"Morning, dad!"

"Morning, Mr. Evans!"

"Good morning, dear!"

"And where is Petunia?" Geoffrey asked sitting down at the head of the table.

"I tried to get her to come down, but she's making sure everything's perfect," Elaine said.

Geoffrey rolled his green eyes. "Sounds like Petunia."

"Speaking of the devil," Lily muttered.

Petunia walked into the kitchen looking stressed and panicked.

"Is everything okay, Petunia?" Elaine asked.

"Yes. Everything is fine on my end. I just have to make sure everything is fine on Vernon's end. But I won't know that until I'm at the church," Petunia said sitting down and placing a hand over her face.

"It'll be ok, Tuney. I'm sure everything will be fine," Lily said between mouthfuls of eggs.

"I hope so," Petunia whined.

"Don't worry, sweetie. Like Lils said, I'm sure it'll be all right," Geoffrey said with a smile.

Petunia nodded and grabbed some fruit.

"Aren't you going to eat more than that, dear?" Elaine asked.

"I'm too stressed to eat, mum."

Elaine simply nodded and continued to eat her food.

After everyone was done eating, Lily, Tegan and Jenna ran upstairs to get ready.

Lily quickly put her dress on. She curled her hair and put it in an elegant up do with help from Jenna. Lily did her makeup. She put a bit of eyeliner on her top lids, cover up and lip gloss. Petunia wanted her bride's maids to be simple, but elegant. Lily quickly put on her off-white pumps on and was done.

After Tegan and Jenna were done getting ready, they headed downstairs to wait on Petunia.

"Lily, you look absolutely gorgeous," her father said as she came into the den.

"Thanks, daddy. You look handsome."

"Thanks Flower."

Moments later, Petunia came down the steps quickly. Petunia's blond hair was down in loose curls that hung a little past her shoulders. Her makeup was flawless. She had eyeliner on her top and bottom lids, a light dusting of cover up, light red lipstick and crème eye shadow.

She was dressed in her everyday clothes because she was going to change at the church. Petunia stopped at the bottom of the steps and looked at her staring family.

"What? Is there something wrong?" Petunia asked gingerly touching her hair.

"No, not at all, Petunia. You look beautiful," Geoffrey said quietly.

Petunia smiled for a moment. "Thanks dad."

"Shall we?" Elaine asked opening the door.

Everyone filed out of the house in a hurry. The church was only fifteen minutes away, but Petunia wanted to make sure that the church was up to her standards.

Since there were too many people to fit into one car, Elaine drove her car with Lily and her mates. Geoffrey and Petunia rode together so Petunia could put her dress and everything else she needed in the backseat.

They finally arrived at the church. Lily quickly got out and helped grab a few of Petunia's things. Jenna and Tegan followed her lead and helped her carry Petunia's things in. As they entered the church, Lily, Tegan and Jenna turned left and entered the first room in the hallway.

Lily and the girls hung up and placed everything in the room and sat down. It was barely 9 and Lily already felt exhausted. This wedding was going to be the death of her.

Petunia walked in moments later and looked around the room. She nodded her approval and sat down in front of the vanity.

"How does the church look?" Lily asked her sister.

"It's perfect. I knew Vernon would pull through," Petunia said looking at herself in the mirror.

"I'm glad to hear it," Lily said smiling at her reflection.

"Lily, can I talk to you? Alone?" Petunia asked looking at Lily's friends.

"Sure. Um, Tegan, Jen you can go find seats. I'll come find you in a few minutes."

They both nodded and headed out of the door. As the door closed with a small click, Petunia turned to Lily.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Lily asked looking around the room.

"Well, after this we probably won't see each other a lot. I'll be moving away, you're going back to school soon and let's face it…we're both completely different now," Petunia said matter-of-factly.

"Oh. Erm, yeah. I suppose," Lily said fidgeting.

"And I know we haven't gotten along very well over the years. I'm sorry. It's just I was so used to the old you that it's hard to think of you as this _new_ Lily," Petunia said scrunching her nose.

"Tuney, I haven't changed," Lily said finally looking at her sister in the eyes.

"You have changed. I've changed. We grew apart."

"I'm still your little sister. I'm just not following you around anymore. I always will look up to you because you're my big sister. I love you, Tuney," Lily said quietly.

"I know, I know. It's just our _worlds _are so different. You don't _just _fit into one world anymore, Lil. You shift between two and one day you're going to have to choose."

"No, I can still fit into both. I'm not just one or the other. I just have more to me now," Lily said as her eyes brimmed with tears.

"No, Lily. It doesn't work like that. You will have to choose one day. And having you as my Maid of Honor is more than having you part of my wedding. It's a goodbye," Petunia whispered.

Lily's eyes grew wide as she looked at her sister. The tears that were threatening to spill over only minutes ago finally gave way. Lily didn't know what to say. Could she say anything? Her only sister—her only sibling, was telling her goodbye. She was letting her go. She didn't even give her a chance.

Lily and Petunia were silent for awhile. Lily finally came back to her senses.

"Well, I should go check on things. I'll send mum in," Lily said getting up.

"Lily," Petunia called.

She turned and looked at her sister.

"I'm sorry. I don't want it to be this way, but it has to be. I love you, Lily. I always will."

"Love you too, Tuney," Lily said opening the door and shutting it softly behind her.

Lily walked around the church until she found her mother and father. They smiled at her as she neared them.

"Hello, darling," her mother greeted.

"Hi mum. Petunia's ready for you to put her dress on," Lily said with a small smile.

"All right, darling. I'll go right now."

Lily was alone with her father.

"Flower, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, dad," Lily said not looking at him.

"Lily, you're a terrible liar. What's going on, love?"

Lily sighed and turned to look at her father.

"Petunia told me goodbye," Lily choked on the last word.

"Goodbye? She'll see you during holidays," he said standing in front of his youngest daughter.

"No, no she won't. She told me that it basically won't be the same and that I can't shift between the Muggle world and the Wizarding world. She said I'll have to pick eventually," Lily said as tear threatened to roll down her face again.

"Lil, you don't have to choose. You'll always be a part of both. I know you and Petunia will see each other no matter what. Don't worry, baby," he said hugging her.

Lily hugged her father back and silently cried into his suit.

"I hope you're right," Lily said wiping her eyes.

"I'm always right," he said with a smile and a wink.

Lily smiled back at her father and headed to the bathroom. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw that her makeup was a mess. She pulled out her wand from her bag and quickly cleaned her face and reapplied her makeup. She sighed and headed into the church to find her best friends.

She found them sitting on one of the pews to the left. She quickly walked over to them and sat down next to Jenna.

"Hello," Lily said with a smile.

"There you are. We thought Petunia locked you up or something," Jenna said.

"No, not this time," Lily answered.

"What did she want?" Tegan asked.

"Just to talk. Nothing major," Lily said with a shrug.

She knew that her mates would see through her lie, but she didn't feel like explaining herself at the moment.

They nodded and had small talk until Elaine came into the church and told Lily it was time to line up. Lily bid her friends farewell and walked back into the lobby.

Lily saw Petunia all the way in the back whispering to their father. She sighed and turned to face the front. Lily was walking down with one of Vernon's best friends. Needless to say she wasn't impressed, but he seemed to be impressed by her. Lily ignored him.

The music started and Lily began to walk. This wedding symbolized much more than Petunia getting married. This was the end of their relationship. They hadn't had a proper relationship in years, but this was the true end. In a way, she believed Petunia was right. She would have to pick a world to live in. Lily Evans couldn't always flit between worlds.

It made her extremely sad, but the Wizarding world chose her. And she didn't want to give it up. She also didn't want to give up the Muggle world either. It was all she knew for 11 years. She couldn't turn her back on it. Or her parents. Lily decided to think about this later. She was supposed to be doing her duty as a Maid of Honor.

The music changed and Lily saw Petunia and her father stand at the doorway. Lily's eyes brimmed with tears. Petunia was radiant. Her dress was perfect. Her veil was short; it covered half of her face. Lily could see Petunia's smile as she came down the aisle.

Lily looked over at Vernon and he was smiling back at her sister. She hated to admit it, but she saw that he truly did love Petunia. Lily felt some of the tension leave her body. He would take care of her. He would love her no matter what. It would be ok.

Their father handed Petunia over to Vernon and quickly walked to his seat next to their mother. Lily turned to look at the couple. They beamed at each other.

The service was short and that was fine with Lily. She was happy to be a part of her sister's wedding, her life. Just one last time. After Petunia and Vernon were officially husband and wife, the wedding party followed the married couple out.

Pictures were soon taken and the real fun began. Lily was supposed to sit at the wedding party table, but she didn't want to neglect her mates. She sat at a table with her parents and friends temporarily.

"Ready to give your speech?" Tegan asked.

"Speech?" Lily asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know. Since you're the Maid of Honor, you have to give a speech," Jenna said looking at Lily.

"No, I didn't know that," Lily said biting her lip.

"Well, now you do," Tegan said with a smirk.

Lily returned to the table in the front of the room. She sat down next to Petunia and started eating her food. The whole time, Lily thought about what she was going to say during her speech. It seemed that the time had slipped by because it was time for Lily to speak. All eyes were on her as she stood up slowly. Someone handed her a microphone and Lily blanched.

"Hello," Lily said swallowing," I'm Petunia's younger sister. And I'm quite happy for Petunia…and Vernon. I know that their marriage will be everything they hoped and dreamed. And I feel extremely relieved to know this. It's true, Petunia and I haven't really gotten along in years, but I still love her regardless. And Vernon, I hope that no matter how many times Petunia makes you mad, you still love her no matter what as well. I hope you take care of her like I know you will. I wish you both the best."

Lily smiled at her sister and sat down. The place exploded with applause. Lily had her own sort of closure with her sister. She said her goodbye without actually saying the word. She knew Petunia was right, even if she didn't want to admit it.

If Lily was going to be with James, her world would be chosen for her. James knew nothing of the Muggle world, but if she loved him like she said she did, she would do anything to keep them together. Lily wouldn't completely abandon her Muggle life, but she knew where she would mostly belong. Her choice was made.

The whole time Lily thought about her future, Vernon's Best Man was giving his speech to the couple. Lily obviously didn't pay him any attention, but what did catch her attention was when the DJ announced it was time for the couple's first dance. Lily couldn't help but watch her sister and brother-in-law dance together. She saw how much he and Petunia truly cared about each other. It made her miss James.

She hadn't seen him in a month and a half. She wouldn't be seeing him for at least another month. Lily sighed to herself. After the couple's dance, an upbeat song came on and Lily went to grab her best mates. They all stood together and danced and laughed. It was what Lily needed to keep her thoughts at bay. She needed to stop thinking about such serious topics and let her hair down.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Petunia's wedding. In the time span between the wedding and the present, Petunia had gone on her honeymoon and moved out. To Lily it felt incredibly strange to see Petunia's bedroom door open with nothing inside. Often Lily found herself walking into the room and looking around as if expecting Petunia to scream at her to get out of her room that instant, but it never happens. It almost makes Lily feel lonely. It felt weird to actually miss the presence of her sister. Lily left the room and returned to her own.

When she got there, she saw her owl sitting her bed with a letter tied to its leg. Lily instantly recognized the letter and the emerald scrawl on the front of the envelope. She quickly untied the letter and ripped it open. As she took out the contents carefully, she noticed something hard at the bottom. She slowly pulled out a badge. She stared as the gold glinted from the morning sun.

Lily's lips quickly turned up into a smile and then she screeched. Her mother and father both were standing in her doorway moments later looking worried. Lily slowly turned towards them giving them a sheepish grin.

"What's wrong, Lils?" Geoffrey asked as he caught his breath.

"I made Head Girl!" Lily yelled standing up.

Her parent's features morphed from worry to elation.

"Oh, Lils! I'm so happy for you!" Her father exclaimed pulling her into a bear hug.

"Oh, Lily. This is amazing news. We'll have to celebrate," her mother said taking Lily into her arms.

"I'm sorry for scaring you earlier. I was just so excited," Lily said as she took a step away from her parents.

"It's all right, darling. I must call and tell your sister," Elaine said running out the door before Lily could stop her.

"She doesn't have to do that," Lily said sobering.

"I'm sure your sister will be proud," her dad said planting a kiss on her head.

"Possibly," Lily said staring out the window.

"Well, don't worry about that right now. Tonight, we're going out for dinner to celebrate. So, look nice," he said smiling at her as he walked back downstairs.

Lily quickly grabbed bits of parchment and sat down at her desk.

_Jen-_

_Great news, I got Head Girl! I can barely contain my excitement! It makes me wonder who Head Boy will be. I'm betting on Remus. He's the best candidate. Anyways, what do you think? Oh, shopping for supplies sometime this week?_

_~ Lil_

_Tegan-_

_So, I got Head Girl! I'm so happy! I was wondering to myself who could possibly be Head Boy and my money's on Remus. What do you think about this? Also, shopping sometime this week? I asked Jen and I was when would be the best time for all of us._

_~ Lil_

Lily beckoned her owl over to her and tied both letters to her leg. She watched as the owl flew out of her window. Lily lazily got up and lay on her bed. She didn't have to wait long to get her replies. She heard the sound of wings and saw her owl perched on the windowsill. Lily got up and took the letters and lay back down.

_Of course you got Head Girl. Who else would? No one is as much of a suck up as you are. Plus, you're all of the professors' favorites. So, congrats, even if you born to get it. I vote for going to Diagon Alley Friday._

_~Tegan_

_P.S. As for Head Boy assumptions, I lay money also on Lupin. He seems like the male version of you. It just works._

_Congratulations Lily! I knew you'd be Head Girl since our first year. I've never met someone so determined as you. Your hard work as paid off. Anyways, I say we go to Diagon Alley Friday. And I think Remus will be Head Boy. He's perfect for the job._

_~ Jen_

Lily quickly wrote them and informed them that Friday at noon will be when they meet up.

* * *

Just as her parents promised, they took Lily out to dinner to celebrate her Headship. It was one of the most expensive restaurants in town. Lily and her parents usually went there if it was of the upmost importance. And with Lily getting Head Girl, it was a very important event to celebrate.

As Lily and her parents sat in the booth towards the back, Lily felt extremely happy. She had proved she worked hard and done well at school and her parents were extremely proud of her. Despite what Petunia said about her over the years, her parents were proud of her. And that's all that mattered to her.

As the three Evans ate their food, Elaine held up her glass and beamed at her daughter.

"I want to make a toast to Lily. All of your hard work has paid off and we're terribly proud of you. I hope your last year and years afterward are amazing. We love you Flower," she finished as continued to beam at her daughter.

"To Lily," Geoffrey chimed in.

Lily held up her glass and they all clinked them together.

"Thank you. I love you both so much," Lily said smiling at them.

Geoffrey looked at his wife and she quickly took a box out of her purse and slid it over to Lily.

"What's this?" Lily asked with wide eyes.

"Open it and find out," her father said with a smile.

Lily quickly took the top off and stared at a white gold charm bracelet. It was perfect. Lily picked it up and placed it in her hand to examine. It had a small lion, a picture of her parents, a picture of herself and Petunia when they were children.

"We figured you could add more whenever you want," Elaine said.

"Thank you. I love it," she said squeezing their hands.

"I'm glad you like it, love," Geoffrey said.

Lily couldn't thank and appreciate her parents enough. They would always be part of her world.

* * *

Friday morning rolled around as Lily rolled herself out of bed. She was to meet her best friends in Diagon Alley so they could pick up their last years worth of school supplies. It was almost sad.

Lily quickly walked over to the bathroom and turned the water on so she could take a shower. After a quick shower, she walked clad in her towel to her room. Lily dressed in a pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt. She slipped a pair of trainers on and walked downstairs.

Her mother and father had already gone to work, but they left her Muggle money so she could convert it and buy her supplies. Lily made herself a bowl of oatmeal and quickly scarfed it down. Lily pocketed the money and quickly apparated outside of Leaky Cauldron.

As she walked in, she looked to see if her friends had arrived yet. Lily saw no signs of them, so she sat down at a table towards the back.

"Hello, Miss Head Girl," Jenna said beaming and sitting down in front of Lily ten minutes later.

Lily rolled her green eyes and smiled at her friend.

"Where's Tegan?" Lily asked.

"Right here! Sorry, my mum would not shut up," Tegan said sitting down next to Lily.

"S'all right. Jen just got here too," Lily said.

"Shall we, girls?" Jenna asked.

The other two girls got up and they headed into bustling streets of Diagon Alley.

The first stop was Gringgots so Lily could exchange her Muggle money for Wizarding money. After that, the three girls ripped and raced to every store they needed to go to. As they got their supplies, they ran into school mates and said their hellos. The girls were done buying all of their supplies and celebrated with ice cream.

"A good end to a productive day," Tegan said with a sigh.

"In total agreement," Jenna said.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Lily said licking her ice cream.

"I'm surprised we haven't bumped into any of the Marauders," Tegan said turning to look at Lily.

Lily simply shrugged. "I figured James and Sirius weren't back from France yet and the Marauders usually come get their supplies together."

"Still haven't heard from him?" Jenna asked as her brows knitted with worry.

"No. I'll see him on the train. I'm not worried," Lily said with another shrug of her shoulders.

"All right," Tegan and Jenna both said.

"What?" Lily asked looking over at her two best mates.

"Nothing, Lily. Just strange that you haven't heard from him is all," Tegan answered.

"Well, he went to visit his family. I'm sure everything's fine."

They nodded and lapsed into silence.

"Ready to go home?" Lily asked.

They nodded again, hugged and parted ways.

Lily hated to admit it, but they did have a point. It was a bit strange that she hadn't heard from James or Sirius for a whole summer. Sure, she and James hadn't been friendly and cordial for that long, but she thought since he came over to her house before he left, he would write. Lily and Sirius had been friendly for a lot longer than she and James and she hadn't heard from him either.

Maybe she was right. Maybe James and Sirius were just busy having fun with James' family. It's not a big deal. Things were fine. Lily would see them soon and everything would be great.

But why did she have such a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach?

* * *

The last few days of summer went by at a snail's pace, but it gave Lily time to pack her trunk and make sure everything was in its proper place. She was excited because she would finally get to see the Marauders and finally start to learn about everything she had skimmed in her books.

Lily walked down the stairs with her trunk in tow. She placed it in the den next to the door. She walked into the kitchen and saw her mother and father at the table sipping tea and talking quietly. Lily's mum looked up and saw their daughter enter.

"Good morning, darling!" She said cheerfully.

"Morning mum and dad," Lily said taking a seat at the table.

"Morning, Lil. Excited to be heading back to Hogwarts?" Her father asked.

Lily nodded her head. "I just can't believe it's my last year."

"Me either, Flower. It feels like you were only eleven yesterday," Geoffrey said.

"I'll always be your little girl, daddy," Lily said with a smile.

"I know, baby, but it's still hard."

"Aw, daddy," Lily said walking over to him and giving him a hug.

He hugged her back and laughed. "I'll be fine. Now, eat something before we leave."

Lily moved away from him and grabbed a bowl of cereal.

After finishing her bowl of cereal, she double checked she got everything out of her room that she needed and came back down the stairs.

"Ready Flower?" Her father asked.

Geoffrey grabbed her trunk so Lily nor her mother had to lift it. He put in trunk of their car and headed to King's Cross.

As the station came into view, Lily's excitement grew. She was so excited to see people and to see that scarlet train for the last time.

Geoffrey parked and Elaine went to grab a trolley. They placed her trunk of the trolley and walked slowly towards the wall between platform 9 and 10.

For Lily it brought back memories of when she was eleven. Her sister teasing her and telling her Hogwarts didn't exist. Then Lily saw Severus and he showed her everything he promised before was indeed real. Then she met James Potter and Sirius Black. It's funny to think so much had changed in 6 years.

Lily knew and loved Hogwarts like it was a second home to her. She was now Head Girl. She was friends with Sirius Black. She loved James Potter. She and Severus weren't on speaking terms and she didn't know where he was. And now her and Petunia weren't speaking and were out of each other's lives. So much had changed.

Lily turned to her parents and gave them a smile. She hugged each of them at a time.

"I'll write you when I get settled in. I'll tell you who is Head Boy and such. I love you," Lily said.

"We love you too, Flower," Elaine said.

With one last look at her parents, Lily walked into the barrier.

The station was alive with parents and students of all ages. Lily smiled to herself. As she walked towards the train she looked around for a familiar face. As she made her way to the train, she didn't see anyone. She decided to board. Lily found the compartment she usually shared with her mates and quickly settled in.

Fifteen minutes later, Jenna burst through the door.

"Hello, lovely," Jenna said sitting down.

"Hello!" Lily said back smiling at her friend.

Five minutes after that, Tegan slid the door open and beamed at her two friends.

"Hello, darlings," Tegan said.

"Hello!" Lily and Jenna said.

"You two haven't started the gossip without me, have you?" Tegan asked sitting down next to Jenna.

"No, of course not," Jenna said with a laugh.

Relief flooded Tegan's face.

The train started to move a minute after the girls got settled.

As the three girls were busy discussing the gossip they heard as they boarded the train, Lily saw familiar hazel eyes peering at her through the window of the compartment.

Lily stopped talking and gave the boy her full attention. The two girls sitting around her looked at the door and both let out ooh-ing noises. Lily both gave them a look at they stopped. She got up and opened the door.

"Hi," Lily said biting her lip.

James didn't say anything. He just stared at her.

Lily started to feel self-conscious.

"Is there something on my face?" Lily asked letting out a nervous giggle.

"No. I just haven't seen you in months. My dreams don't do you justice," James said still staring at her.

Lily smiled at him.

Jenna and Tegan brushed past their best mate with a wink.

Lily moved aside and James walked in.

"So, how are you?" Lily asked sitting down on her abandoned seat.

"I'm great now that I finally get to see you. How are you?" He said with a smile.

"A lot better now that you're here," Lily said with an equally goofy grin.

The pair lapsed into silence, but Lily broke it after a few minutes.

"How was France? And where is Sirius?"

"Padfoot is back in our compartment. I told him to let me see you before he mauls you," James said with a laugh, "and France was…all right. I guess."

"Just all right? It's _France _James. How could _France _just be _all right_?" Lily asked shocked.

"It was just all right," James said with a shrug and a smirk, "How was the wedding?"

"Oh. It was all right," Lily said looking at her hands.

"Just all right, Lils? What happened?"

"Everything went fine. Petunia said goodbye to me," Lily said with a shrug.

"Goodbye? Why? She's your sister, how could she say goodbye to you?" James asked looking distraught.

"She told me that one day I'm going to have to choose a world to belong to—the Muggle world or the Wizarding world—and she's right. I know that I can't keep straddling both, I'll have to choose. And I know any one I choose, I'll always have a piece of it with me," Lily whispered.

James got up and sat next to Lily. He put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Lily, no matter what world you choose, I'll be there with you. If you want me to," James said.

"Of course I want you to be there," Lily said looking up at him.

James gave her a small smile.

"James, is everything all right?" Lily asked as her eyebrows knitted in concern.

"I believe so," James said looking out of the window.

"You don't sound too sure," Lily said looking at his face.

"Everything's fine, Lil," he said squeezing her shoulders.

"All right," Lily said not completely believing him.

"Oh, do you know if Remus got Head Boy?" Lily asked.

"No, he didn't," James said.

"What? I was so sure he would have gotten it."

"Me too."

"Do you know who got it then?" Lily asked.

"Yes," James said evenly.

"Then who?" Lily asked.

"I…did," James said looking over at her.

"You what! Why? Oh my Merlin," Lily said jumping up.

"Thanks, Lil. I thought you would be happy that we would be Heads together," James said looking hurt.

"I am happy, but no offense, you aren't Head material."

"Um, ouch!"

"I said no offense. I mean, between you pranks and your lack of work ethic, I didn't expect it. It's a pleasant surprise, but just a bit of a shocker."

"My ego is thoroughly bruised," James said holding a hand to his chest.

Lily stopped pacing and walked until she stood in front of him. She leaned down and kissed him square on the lips. James let out a sigh and kissed her back, but not with his usual vigor.

Lily pulled away and looked James in the eyes. She saw they weren't as bright and clear as they usually were. It worried her, but she figured now was not the time to ask.

"Am I forgiven?" Lily asked.

"I'll think about it," James said with a smile.

"I think I more than made up for it," Lily said crossing her arms.

"Fine, you are forgiven," James said getting up.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked.

"We have a meeting soon," James said, "or has Lily Evans forgotten about said meeting?"

"No, I was just testing you."

James opened the door and let Lily leave first. He followed after her without a word. As they walked to the first car at the top of the train, Lily thought about how odd James' behavior was.

He seemed all right, but the little things Lily noticed, like how his eyes weren't their normal bright hazel. Maybe she was just imagining things. Maybe he seemed different because she hadn't seen him since June. That had to be it. She wasn't used to him anymore.

As James opened the door to the compartment, Lily's train of thought stopped. She smiled at him and entered the compartment. She saw not many people had arrived yet. Remus was sitting in the front and Lily walked over to him with a smile on her face.

"Hello, Lily," Remus said with a smile.

"Hello, Remus. How was your summer?"

"It was pretty good. How was yours?"

"It was all right," she said sitting down next to him.

James walked over to them and sat next to Remus. Lily noted his distance. She chided herself. He didn't _have _to sit next to her. Gosh, she felt like she was becoming like every other girl in Hogwarts. She was becoming clingy and got easily miffed over the dumbest shit. She needed to stop. So, Lily engaged in conversation with Remus until all of the Prefects shuffled in.

Lily looked at James and they stood.

"Hello, everyone. I'm glad to see some familiar faces as well as a bunch of new ones. I am Lily Evans, your new Head Girl, for those who didn't know. This is James Potter—as most of you may know—your new Head Boy," Lily said looking over at James.

Lily continued on with her speech with a few interjections from James. It went painlessly as possible. As they dismissed the Prefects, Lily smiled and thanked them for coming. Remus hung back and looked at James. James looked back at him as if they were having some kind of silent conversation.

"Um, I'm going to go. I'll see you both later," Lily said awkwardly.

They looked up at her and nodded. She shut the door behind her and headed back towards her compartment.

Lily wasn't paying attention; she was too buried in her thoughts. Wondering about what the look Remus gave James.

"Lily-Flower!" She heard a voice in front of her.

She looked up and saw Sirius standing a few doors from her. She gave him a smile as she walked towards him.

"Hey, Sirius!" Lily said trying to sound cheerful.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked looking Lily in the eye.

"Nothing, Sirius. I just got done conducting a meeting," Lily said with a shrug.

"Liar. Remember, Lils. I know you better than you think. Maybe even better than you know yourself."

"Maybe," Lily said with a small smile.

"Now, spill."

"Can we talk somewhere a bit more private?" Lily asked looking around.

"Yeah, you can come in here. Wormtail isn't here."

Sirius moved aside and let Lily in and shut the door behind him. He casted a silencing charm and sat down on the opposite bench that Lily sat on.

"All right, talk."

"Fine. Did I do something wrong? I feel like I did something wrong, but I don't know what," Lily said in a rush.

"What do you mean Lily-Flower? You could never do anything wrong," Sirius said with a smile.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm being serious!"

"You're pretending to be me?"

Lily gave Sirius a look. "You are so bloody difficult to talk to!"

"I'm just kidding, Lils. Talk to me."

"I just feel like I did something wrong. James is acting so weird around me. I don't know if I'm imagining things because I haven't seen him in months or if I did something completely wrong without realizing it! Oh Merlin! What if I upset him when I was ranting that he was a very unlikely candidate for Head Boy? How could I see so insensitive? What is wrong with me, Sirius?"

"Lily! Calm down! Why do you blame yourself for everything? Can't other take the blame too? Not everything is your fault. You are fine. You haven't done anything. James may just be acting strange. I don't know," Sirius said looking at Lily.

"You would tell me if James did something while you were away, right?"

"Yes, Lily-Flower. Nothing happened. James is just being James. Strange."

Lily cracked a smile.

"That's what I like to see. You smiling. Now, go back to your compartment and everything is fine," Sirius said standing up.

Lily hugged the boy in front of her and then left. She felt better now that she talked to Sirius. Lily opened the door to her compartment and saw her two best mates sitting there.

"Well, hello. Where have you been?" Tegan asked.

"I had a meeting with the Prefects. Oh, James is Head Boy. Who would have thought…"

"Is Dumbledore off his rocker? James isn't Head Boy material," Jenna said wide-eyed.

"Well, I believe we were all wrong in our assumptions then," Tegan added.

"Dead wrong. This year shall be interesting," Lily said grabbing her robes out of her trunk, "I'm going to change. We'll be at the school soon."

* * *

Lily sat in her new dorm room. It was the size of her room she shared with the girls last year, but it was just her room. It was strange to think that this huge room was just _hers_. She laid back on her king-size four poster bed. She hadn't unpacked yet.

The feast went well. Lily felt like she hadn't eaten that well in years. She noticed that James seemed to be out of his bad mood. He sat next to her during dinner. He also invited her to hang out in his new Head dorm later. Lily felt like they were on the right track again.

Lily thought about telling James she was ready to date him now. Might as well start off the year right since she didn't get to tell him before he left for France. She wanted to make sure all of her feelings were out on the table.

Lily slid off of her bed and decided to unpack until it was time to go to James' room. The Heads dorms were separate this year, but they had their own common room. Lily's dorm was up a few stairs above the 7th year girl's dorm. It was password protected. James' dorm was the same way, but at the top of the boy's staircase.

Lily looked at the time and saw that it was almost time to head to James' dorm. The corners of her mouth turned up instantly as she thought about seeing James, even if she saw him hours ago at dinner.

Lily quickly exited her dorm and bound down the stairs. As she looked around the Common Room she saw three out of four Marauders in the corner of the room with their heads together. It looked strange without having James' head mixed in with theirs. Lily turned and headed up the boys' staircase.

Lily knocked on the door and waited patiently for James to open the door. When he opened the door, she smiled instantly at him.

"Hi," he said smiling at her.

"Hello," Lily said.

James moved out of the way and let her in. When Lily walked in, her senses were assaulted by the many pictures and smells. There were pictures of James, his parents, the Marauders, herself and Lily guessed other relatives. The smells coming from the room were pleasant. The room smelled of James already. It was a blend of the woods and cologne. Lily slowly walked over to his bed. As she sat down, he shut the door and walked over to sit next to her.

Lily felt a bit awkward sitting there with James. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, but she couldn't help it. She hadn't seen him in so long, but he hadn't changed. She was just being stupid. She turned to look at him and saw that he wasn't looking at her like he usually did. Again, his eyes didn't seem as happy as they were when she saw him last. What had happened to him? She was about to ask when he said something.

"I'm sorry for my behavior. I didn't mean to act so strangely around you," James said giving Lily a small smile.

"It's all right. I think I've been acting a bit strangely as well," Lily said to make him feel better.

"No, you've been fine," James said taking her hand in his.

"So why have you been acting so weird then?" Lily asked rubbing his hand with her thumb.

James froze.

"If you don't want to talk about it right now, that's all right. I was just curious," Lily said back peddling.

"Yeah, I don't think I could talk about it right now," James said exhaling.

"That's fine. Whenever you're ready."

"So why have you been acting so weird?" James asked mirroring her question.

"Oh. Well, don't take this the wrong way. Since I haven't seen you in months, it sort of feels strange being back together like this. I know it sounds stupid, but I don't know. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous," Lily said taking her hand out of his.

"No, you're not being ridiculous. It does feel a bit weird, but I missed you the entire time I was gone. You know that right?" James asked.

"Of course, but I doubt you missed me more than I missed you," Lily said with a smile.

"Oh, you dare challenge me, Evans?" James said with a smirk.

Lily's heart melted. In that instant she needed to tell him.

"I believe I can beat you, easily."

"And how can you do that pray tell?" James asked lifting an eyebrow.

"I said easily."

"Well, show me then."

"It's more of a-tell-you thing," Lily said starting to squirm.

"Ok, tell me then," James said watching her squirm about.

"Ok, here goes. James, I've been thinking since night you came to visit me—no—when school ended last year. I want you in every sense of the word. And I'm hoping you still want me. I believe I love you, James. You're it for me. And I'm sorry if I'm being so forward, but I think it's about time we're finally together," Lily said not looking at him.

It was quiet in the room. Lily didn't dare look at James. She didn't know what to expect. She knew that his feelings towards her hadn't changed, but there was always a possibility that he might have found someone better. Possibly in France. And as much as Lily didn't want to think about it, it had crept into her mind several times during the summer.

"Lily…" James started.

"James, you don't have to if you don't want to. I know I took my good ole time and I know you may have been tired of waiting on me. Hell, you may have found someone better when you were away. And I'll understand. I wanted to tell you this before you left, but I was afraid. You deserved to know, but I couldn't say it. And you don't know how much I've regretted it over the summer. But now you're here in front of me and I just _had_ to tell you. I'm sorry."

"Lily, shut up," Lily heard the smile in his voice, "Silly girl. I was going to say something completely different from what just spewed out of your mouth. So, let me finish before you go spewing off nonsense."

Lily looked over at him and nodded and waited for him to continue.

"All right. Lily, you obviously know how I feel about you. You've known for years now. And they haven't changed. If anything, they've grown especially since you finally gave me a chance with you. And Lily, I love you too. I think I always have. And you have no idea how amazing it is to hear you say it! And you also know that I've wanted us to be together. So, Lily Evans, will you finally go out with me?" James asked looking at her hopefully with a mix of something else, but Lily wasn't sure what it was.

"Yes, James," Lily said with a huge smile on her face.

James moved closer to her and kissed her hard and full on the mouth. James savored every moment of it. He knew everything could possibly be all right. James nipped at Lily's bottom lip and Lily opened her mouth a bit. James took the opportunity to slide his tongue in her mouth. Lily moaned in his mouth as their tongues twirled around each others. Lily was the first to break the kiss.

"Well, I missed that," Lily said out of breath and smiling at James.

James smiled back. "I can't believe you finally said yes! And you _love _me!"

"Don't let it go to you already inflated head," Lily said with a giggle.

"Too late."

Lily rolled her eyes and looked at the clock on James' dresser. She quickly got up.

"Where are you going?" James asked with a pout.

"It's getting quite late. I need to go to bed. Classes start tomorrow bright and early," Lily said matter-of-factly.

"I know, but you can always stay here," James said gesturing to the bed.

"You wish, Potter. Yes we may be together, but that doesn't mean I'm staying in your bed the first night. I'm not daft."

"But you're willing some other night?" James asked as his face lit up.

"One day, just not tonight," Lily said standing by the door.

"That's all I need, hope," James walked over to Lily and kissed her once again.

Lily pulled away again and smiled at him. "Goodnight, James. I'll see you tomorrow."

"G'night Lils. I love you," James said beaming.

"I love you, too," Lily said as a blush crept to her cheeks.

Lily turned and walked down the boys' staircase and then up to her own dorm. Jenna and Tegan were going to freak out when once she told them. Lily lay back on her bed and sighed contently. Not a bad start to her 7th and final year.

James lay back on his bed and sighed. He was finally dating the girl of his dreams, but something in the back of his mind was bothering him. Maybe he didn't have to tell her. Maybe things could stay this way sans everything that happened. He loved Lily and he was finally happy, but why did his mind scream to him to tell her? He ignored it and went to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Lily got up earlier than she usually did. She felt well-rested as well as happy. She hopped out of bed and went on with her morning routine. It felt strange to her to have her own bathroom. She didn't have to fight the other girls for it. She smiled to herself and headed down a few stairs to the dorm her best friends were in. She skipped over to their beds.

To wake them or not to wake them? She couldn't contain her happiness. But the downside of waking her friends at 6:30 a.m. was that Tegan would personally kill her. She would hex her into oblivion. Lily wasn't too particularly happy with that option, but again, she couldn't contain her happiness.

Lily grabbed her wand out of a pocket of her robes and splashed water on her mates' faces. She knew it was cruel, but it was the easiest way to wake them. She stood as far back as she could and waited. They bother stirred with a shriek.

"Good morning sleeping beauties," Lily said with a smile.

"Lily Elizabeth Evans, I will murder you," Tegan said through clenched teeth.

"I second that motion. It's super early in the morning as well! What has gotten into you?" Jenna asked sitting up.

"I have fantastic news to tell you. I swear you'll love me after you heard," Lily said bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"You're glowing, Lils," Jenna said with a smirk.

"What is this news then? Go on," Tegan said.

"Go get dressed and I'll tell you on the way to breakfast," Lily said sitting down on Jenna's bed.

They both grumbled and went to get ready.

Twenty minutes later, her two best mates were dressed and ready.

"All right, let's go!" Lily said cheerfully.

"This better be good, Evans," Tegan grumbled.

"It is. It's quite fantastic really."

As they walked out of the portrait hole, Lily turned quickly to her best friends and beamed.

"James Potter and I are dating," Lily said with a smile plastered to her face.

Jenna and Tegan both stared at her with their mouths agape.

"FINALLY!" Tegan and Jenna yelled in unison.

"I know!" Lily said laughing.

"When? Where? Why?" Jenna asked.

The three girls began to walk down to the Great Hall.

"Well, I went to visit him last night in his rooms—no nothing bad happened—and we started talking. I just blurted out how I felt and I thought he was going to reject me, so I started to reject him before he could do it to me. And he laughed at me and told me that I was being silly. He asked me out and I said yes," Lily finished.

"How could you think that _James Potter _wouldn't fancy _you_ anymore?" Tegan asked with a laugh.

"I don't know. I was feeling a bit insecure. I've never felt this way about anyone before and I really didn't believe I would ever feel this way about _James Potter_!"

"What about me?" They heard a voice behind them.

"Oh, hello James!" Jenna said with a snicker.

"Good morning, ladies."

"I suppose we owe you a congratulations for _finally_ getting the elusive Lily Evans," Tegan said sending Lily a smirk.

Lily rolled her eyes. James was blushing.

"Thanks," he said walking over to Lily.

"I'm surprised you're not telling the whole school by now," Jenna said laughing.

"I figured that I embarrassed Lily even over the years," James said looking down at Lily.

She mouthed a 'thank you'. James smiled and turned them around to head into the Great Hall.

Lily, Tegan and Jenna all sat down at their usual spot. James stopped, kissed Lily on the cheek and headed down to sit next to his friends.

The three girls went out with their morning laughing, talking and gossiping as usual. It wasn't long until Sirius walked over to them and sat down next to Lily. Lily turned to look at Sirius expectantly.

"Hello Lily-Flower," he said not as cheerful as he usually was.

"Hello, Sirius. How are you?" Lily asked still cheerful.

"I'm all right. I'm guessing you're over the moon?" Sirius said with a small smile.

"How could you guess?" Lily asked grinning.

"A little birdie told me," Sirius said sounding more like his old self.

"Well, the 'birdie' was quite correct."

"Yes, about this so-called 'birdie', I need to speak to you about it," Sirius said as his voice dropped.

"Why? What's wrong?" Lily asked concerned.

"Well, that's not my place to say, but I do have a few concerns."

Lily looked in Sirius' stormy grey eyes and saw concern, seriousness and a hint of anger.

"All right, tell me," Lily said slowly.

"Can we go somewhere more private?" Sirius asked, "No offense, ladies."

"None taken," Jenna said.

Lily nodded and she and Sirius headed out of the Great Hall. Sirius walked over to a cupboard and gestured for Lily to get in. Lily shook her head and walked inside. Sirius shut the door, used a silencing charm and lit his wand.

"All right, what are you concerns?" Lily asked sitting down on the floor.

Sirius sat down as well. "Well, for one, I don't want you to get hurt. I love you like a little sister Lily-Flower and I couldn't bear to see you hurt, even more so since you're dating my best mate. Also, I think you and James shouldn't be together."

"What? Why? And why aren't you giving me that whole 'if you hurt my best mate' speech? What's going on Sirius?"

"Like I told you, I can't tell you that. It's not my tale to tell. And I'm telling you this because I know you, you would never hurt James. I mean, minus bruising his ego something terrible during our younger years," Sirius smiled.

"Sirius, please. If it's something terrible, you must tell me. You're my friend as well as James'."

"I know, Lily, but I still can't betray James."

"Did he do something bad? I have to know. You're scaring me," Lily said taking Sirius' hand.

"Lily, I cannot tell you. Just think about what I said about breaking up with James."

"I find it ironic that over the last few years people have been begging me to go out with James Potter and when I decide that I finally want to, everyone tells me to break up with him," Lily said biting her lip.

"I'm simply trying to look out for you," Sirius said starting to stand up, "I know you're confused now. And I wish I could tell you more, but I cannot."

Lily didn't respond, but simply nodded.

Sirius undid the silencing charm and opened the door. He let Lily go out first and then walked out after she did. Lily gave Sirius a small smile.

"Thanks for looking out for me Sirius, even if I don't understand what's going on," Lily said giving him a hug.

"You're welcome and I'm sorry," Sirius said hugging her back.

Lily nodded again and walked back into the Great Hall to sit down with her friends again.

As she walked into the Hall she saw that James was staring at her and Sirius. He had a concerned look on his face with a hint of anger. _Why was everyone so angry?_ Lily cocked her head to the side and gave him a questioning look. James shook his head and sighed. Lily was even more confused as she sat down with her mates.

"So what did Sirius want?" Tegan asked.

"I really don't know. He wanted me to break up with James, but he didn't tell me why. He said he couldn't," Lily said looking down at the table.

"If Sirius Black tells you to break up with his best mate, it has to be for a good reason. I mean, he knows James better than anyone. I trust his judgment," Jenna said.

"I know, but wouldn't you still want to know why though?" Lily asked looking up at her friends.

"Of, course, but I would at least take his request into consideration and then try to find out what's going on. Either by asking James' himself or asking others, as a last resort. Of course," Tegan said.

"All right. I'll consider it, but I'm putting it in the back of my mind. I've been dating James for less than a day and things seem to be falling apart."

"Well, don't worry about it. Anyways, here comes James," Jenna said.

Lily gave them a concerned look. They both shook their heads and smiled at her. Lily took a deep breath and turned towards her boyfriend. _Boyfriend. Boyfriend for how long? No, I mustn't think about that._

"I got your schedule. Seems like we'll both be in Defense together. Shall we?" He asked extending his hand.

Lily took his hand, her schedule and her rut sack and left.

* * *

The day passed without much to do. Lily and James enjoyed each other's company when they had classes together. She and Sirius' talk was constantly nagging her from the back of her mind. Lily kept trying to push it as far down as she could, but it kept drifting upwards anyways. Lily just tried to focus on James. He seemed to be acting like himself, but why were his friends giving him glares and such during the day?

That night, Lily walked into the Head's Common Room so she could have some peace and quiet as she did her essay. She figured she would be completely alone. James probably wouldn't come in there tonight because she doubted he would work on his essay yet. They did have several days to complete it, but Lily being Lily, wanted to get it done as soon as possible. So that gave her a place to think as well.

Lily spread her books, scroll and ink on the large table. Instead of digging into her essay, she merely sat there. She looked at the materials in front of her and just sat there. It almost felt too good, but with lack of things to focus on, it also let her mind wander.

_What had the Marauders on edge today? It seemed like every one of them was angry with James. I don't understand it. James seemed to be fine. Maybe he doesn't realize they're mad at him? No, that's silly. How could he _not _know they're mad at him? Was it because he's dating me? Maybe they feel I'm going to take James away from them? Maybe it's because I know too much about them. I just wish Sirius would have told me today during breakfast. This is becoming maddening. Maybe I can get James to tell me later. _

With that, Lily finally started her essay. Her mind was a bit more at ease now that she decided she was going to ask James what's going on.

She was half way done with her essay when the door opened. Lily stopped writing and waited to see James, but it wasn't James. It was Remus Lupin.

"Hello, Lily," Remus said walking towards her.

"Hello, Remus. Not to be rude, what are you doing in here?" Lily asked setting down her quill.

"Oh, sorry. I was looking for you, actually," he said sitting down across from her.

"Oh. Well, you found me. What's going on?" Lily asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something," he said fidgeting.

"Does this have to do with anything Sirius told me earlier today?" Lily asked with a raised auburn eyebrow.

"Yes," Lupin said simply.

All right, out with it."

"All right. Well, Sirius has told you how he feels about you and James and I have to agree with him," Remus said slowly.

"Why?" Lily asked crossing her arms.

"I can't tell you that. Not my story to tell. Sorry."

"Ugh! This frustrates me! How am I supposed to take you all seriously if you all won't tell me what's going on?"

"I know, but I feel James should tell you, not any of us."

"Just tell me, Remus. I've been trying not to think about this all day and now I can't stop. Is it me? Is it my fault that you're all so angry with him?" Lily asked desperately.

"No Lily! You're wonderful and we've all wanted this to happen for years, but it's not you. It's all James."

"He seemed fine earlier today, though," Lily said mostly to herself.

"I think he's still having a hard time with it himself. He promised us all that he'd tell you. If he doesn't we promised we'd kill him," Remus said with a small smile.

"I believe it. After I finish with this essay, I'm going to talk to him," Lily said.

Lupin nodded and got up to leave.

"Thanks for talking to me, Remus. And also, if you want to, you can come in here to study or do work whenever you want," Lily said smiling at him.

"Thanks, Lily," he said before leaving.

Lily sat there once again. She was already going to talk to James about whatever this was all about, but now she was even more terrified than she was before. Remus didn't tell her what was going on either, but for him to tell her the same thing Sirius told her it seemed a lot more real. Sure Lily believed Sirius when he talked to her earlier, but with Remus also telling her it really didn't help. Lily quickly shook her head to dislodge these thoughts so she could finish and then speak to James.

* * *

Lily slowly walked back to Gryffindor Tower. Her mind was abuzz with everything she talked about, or lack thereof, with Lupin and Sirius. Now she was going to face James. She didn't know what to expect. What he did could literally be _anything_.

Lily gave the Fat Lady the password and walked into the Common Room. Everyone was talking and having a grand old time. Lily stopped and looked around the room. She saw three out of four of the Marauders in the corner playing a game of Exploding Snap. Lily smiled to herself and then stopped. She had things she needed to talk about, no time for distractions.

As she made her way through the Common Room and towards the boys' staircase, she heard her name being called. She spun around and saw her two best mates along with a few of their dorm mates sitting down by the fire. Lily smiled at them and walked over to them.

"Where have you been?" Tegan asked.

"I was in the Heads' Common Room working on our DADA essay," Lily said with a shrug.

"That's not due for awhile, Lils," Tegan said levelly.

"I know, but you know me," Lily said with a smile.

Jenna gave her a knowing smile.

"Yes, we know you very well, Lils," Tegan said with a laugh.

"I have to go, but I'll talk to you two later?" Lily asked before turning away.

She heard her best mates consent and Lily dashed up the boys' staircase. As she got closer to James' room, her pace went from a light jog to a leisurely walk. Her heart was beating, not from the jog up the stairs, but from the nerves. She didn't know how to conduct this talk. Before Lily knew it—and warranted—she was at his door. She took a deep breath, shut her eyes and went to knock on the door when it opened.

Lily opened her eyes and saw her boyfriend standing there with a knowing smirk.

"How did you know I was outside of your door?" Lily asked incredulously.

"I have my ways," he said letting her in.

Lily walked across the vast room and sat down on the bed like she did a fortnight ago.

"That doesn't surprise me," Lily said with a wistful smile.

James' eyebrows knitted together. "What's wrong, Lily?"

Lily looked down at her pale hands and pretended her nails were the most interesting thing in the world. She finally sighed and spoke.

"I have to talk to you," Lily said taking a peek at James.

"What about?" He asked sitting down in a chair a meter away from her.

"Well, I-I've heard some _things_. Well, I actually haven't heard a thing. Just…I've had warnings thrown at me. And I don't know what to make of it! So, I came to the source, or so it seems," Lily said flustered.

James was quiet. Lily looked over at him to see what was going on with him. His face was blank and pale. Lily bit her lip and waited.

"Who warned you?" He asked, but he already knew the answer to the question.

"Sirius and Remus. They seemed rather adamant about it and it frightened me. I don't know why. Maybe because I've never seemed them so serious about something that dealt with my well-being, especially since I'm not close to them. It made no sense," Lily said seemingly speaking to herself more than James.

"What did they say?" James' said as his throat grew dry.

"Sirius said that we should break up. He said that you've done something, and he wouldn't tell me what, and that he doesn't want to see me hurt. Remus agreed with Sirius. And I asked him if this was my fault in any way and he assured me it wasn't. So, James please tell me what's going on," Lily said as her emerald green eyes bored into his hazel ones.

James held her gaze and quickly averted his. He sighed.

"Lily, I don't think I'm ready to tell you yet. I just…I just can't. Yet. I will tell you and you deserve to know every bit of it. I'm just scared and terribly selfish, but I promise you I'll tell you. I wish I were stronger," James said as he ran his hands through his hair.

"James, I'll give you a bit of time to tell me, but it won't be long. Whatever you have to tell me is going to worry me to death. So, I'll give you until the end of the week. Ok?" Lily said walking over to him.

James looked up at her and nodded. Lily stopped inches from where he sat. She bent down and looked at him in the eyes.

"I love you James Potter and whatever you have to tell me, you can. I know everything will be all right in the end. Do you believe me?" Lily asked.

James kept looking into her eyes as if he were mesmerized. After a moment, he nodded.

"I love you too, Lils," he said quietly.

Lily nodded, kissed him on the forehead and left the room.

When she came back down the stairs, she saw that most of the occupants were gone. Only Sirius, Remus and her best mates still remained.

Four pairs of eyes were trained on her as she stopped at the bottom of the stairs. She looked at them all and slowly walked over to the couch. She sat down and rested her auburn head on the back of it.

The room was eerily quiet as they waited for her to say or do something.

"I know you're all waiting on me to say something, but for tonight, I rather not," Lily said still in the same position.

"We understand," Remus said from the corner of the room.

"Thank you," Lily said quietly.

Lily lifted her head as Sirius and Remus stood up. They both gave her a small smile and headed up the boys' staircase. Her best mates walked over to the sofa and sat next to her.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but we just want to make sure you're ok," Jenna said.

"Mmm hmm. I'm fine. I still don't know what he has to tell me, yet, but it can't be good. I've never seen James Potter at a loss for words before. It was…strange," Lily said slowly.

"What do you think it may be?" Tegan asked softly.

Lily shrugged. "It could be anything. I know we haven't been together during the summer, but I feel that in a way, we were. I didn't tell him I loved him until yesterday, but I feel I showed him I did when he came to visit me before he left. And I just feel that if he…snogged or shagged someone else whilst in France, I'd feel betrayed. Maybe I'm being stupid," Lily said staring into the fire.

"Lils, that's not stupid. I mean, you told him you fancied him finally. And he'd be a fool to mess that up. I'd kill him myself if he did. Plus, it wouldn't make any sense for him to go after some other bimbo because he's been after you for years," Jenna said.

"I know, but I can't help to think that I waited too long," Lily said quietly.

"No. You had to make sure James Potter grew up. You had to make sure this whole thing wasn't one of his pranks. We all understand that," Tegan said.

Lily nodded. "I did want to be sure he had grown up. And he has and I couldn't help _but _to fall in love with him. I'd be a fool not to."

The three girls were quiet. Lily broke the silence.

"Thanks for listening to me. I appreciate it so much. I'm going to go to bed. Try to sleep off this whole night. I'll see you two tomorrow," Lily said standing up.

"It's honestly no problem at all," Jenna said with a smile.

"What kind of best mates would we be if we didn't let you talk our ears off?" Tegan asked with a smile.

Lily smiled at them and headed up the stairs to her room.

* * *

Sirius and Remus walked up the boys' staircase, but not to their dorm, but up to James' room. They knocked and waited. After a few minutes, the door opened a crack.

"Prongs, let us in," Sirius said.

Without a word, James opened the door and let them in. He shut the door behind him and sat down on his bed. The others followed suit.

"I'm guessing you didn't tell her," Remus said calmly.

James simply shook his head. "I can't tell her yet. I-I just got her, Moony. I'm going to lose her," James said forlornly.

"I know you don't want to hear this, Prongs, but I think you lost her as soon as you did what you did," Sirius said crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know, but I-I love Lily. No one else," James said looking down at his feet.

"We know you do, mate. Just tell her. Maybe once you do and give her time to take it in. Maybe she'll come around. No promises, but just maybe," Lupin said.

"I know I have to tell her. She gave me until the end of the week to get my shit together and tell her."

"Well, take the week to get your shit together and then please tell her. Lily deserves to know," Sirius said looking at James.

"I know that Padfoot! I've wanted to tell her what scum I am since it happened, ok?" James lashed out.

"Sorry, mate. I'm just trying-"

James cut him off. "No, I don't want to hear it. I'll tell her when my time is up and that'll be that."

The other two boys nodded and got up. They didn't say anything to James nor did he say anything to them.

* * *

The next day, Lily went about classes, Head duties—sans James and socializing as she usually did. She didn't give anyone any indication that she wasn't completely there. She was still heavily thinking about things with James. The end of the week seemed to loom at her. Everything she didn't want to know about would come to a head. She wasn't ready, but she had to be.

Lily didn't say much to James that day. She only spoke to him when she needed to. She didn't care what the populace of Hogwarts thought about their behavior. All she cared about was getting whatever they needed resolved. She just wanted to go back to how it was only two days ago. Lily wanted the Old James back.

The rest of the week seemed to pass in the same fashion. Lily did what was expected of her and nothing more like she usually did. It was becoming alarming to her close friends. Usually, no matter what, Lily always went above and beyond what was expected of her, but not now. They knew this whole situation with James Potter needed to be resolved and quickly.

In just two days, it would be. It was Friday night and Lily holed herself up in her room with her best mates. It seemed like one of the most normal things she's done all week. They sat around and laughed, talked and ate. It was almost a ritual after all these years. It felt nice.

"Our first week of our last year of Hogwarts is over!" Jen said stuffing her face.

"Jen, you're making it sound like this week was our _last _week of our last year of Hogwarts," Lily said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry, I'm feeling sentimental," Jenna said with a smile.

"Well, we have awhile until you can truly feel sentimental," Tegan said.

"I can't help it! Plus, both of you will be blubbering idiots when it _is _our last week of school," Jenna said pointing to the two of them.

The three girls giggled together.

"I know I will be," Lily said sighing.

"Me too," Tegan said.

"Me three," Jenna said laying back on the bed.

The lapsed into quiet. All three in their own little world. Thinking about the future.

"Is anyone frightened about truly growing up?" Tegan asked looking up at Lily's canopy.

"It is scary, isn't it? With the war looming overhead and just going out there being on our own," Jenna said with a sigh.

"It is scary. I often forget about the war. I know it's going on, but living in the Muggle world sometimes you just…forget. Also being at Hogwarts really makes you feel safe. Like nothing will ever harm you here," Lily said.

"I feel that way as well. I feel like we're in our own protective bubble here in Hogwarts. I wish it were like this everywhere," Jenna said.

"Me too," Tegan agreed.

They all lapsed into silence once again. After ten minutes, Tegan set up and stretched.

"I think I'm going to go to bed," she announced.

"Me too. I'm terribly tired," Jenna said.

"Goodnight, girls," Lily said with a wave.

"Goodnight!" They said leaving the room.

Lily lay back down and looked up at her canopy.

She did feel like she lived in a protective bubble. Living within the confines of Hogwarts, Lily felt immensely safe. It also bothered her in a way. Shouldn't everyone in the Wizarding and Muggle world feel this safe? When she left this place, she knew that she would never be this safe ever again. But Lily vowed to herself and everyone in the world that she would help to protect them. She wanted everyone to feel like they lived at Hogwarts. With that thought, she fell into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

When Lily woke the next morning, she found a note on the floor next to her door. She stared at it. Someone must have slipped it under there sometime last night or this morning. She bent over and picked it up. She unfolded it slowly and read:

_Lily-_

_I know you gave me until the end of the week, but I think we need to talk tonight. I can't take this much longer. Meet me in my room at 8 pm. _

_-James_

Lily refolded the note and placed it on her dresser. She sighed. She knew it was coming, but deep down she still wasn't ready. Regardless if she was ready or not, it was going to happen.

Lily took a shower and got dressed. She headed down to breakfast knowing her friends would already be there.

And was right. Jenna and Tegan were sitting in their usual spot. Lily slid in where she usually sat and started piling food on her plate.

"Good morning, Lils," Tegan said.

"Morning. Sorry, I'm starved," Lily said digging in.

"I can see that. You're like a ravenous Hippogriff," Jenna said with a smile.

Lily rolled her eyes and continued to eat.

After finishing half of her plate, she spoke up.

"So, James wants to speak to me today," she said nonchalantly, even though she didn't feel that way.

"Oh?" Jenna asked.

"Yeah. Tonight around 8."

"And how are you, uh, feeling about this?" Tegan asked.

Lily simply shrugged. "It's about time, but I'm still dreading this whole talk," she said.

"I can understand. I'd be very apprehensive about this as well. Don't worry, Lils. Whatever it is, it'll be all right," Jenna said.

"I hope so," Lily said starting to get up, "I'm going to go to the Head's Common Room. I want to get some work done."

She bid her friends goodbye and headed upstairs. She quickly ran to her room and grabbed her bag. She headed towards the Head's Common Room. Lily gave the password and stepped in. With a great sigh of relief, James wasn't occupying the area.

Lily quickly sat down and pulled out her supplies. She quickly busied herself in her work. She didn't realize someone had opened the door. When she heard a chair scrap the floor, Lily looked up to see a pair of hazel eyes staring into her green ones.

Lily didn't do anything, didn't say anything. She just stared. James sat down and placed his hands on the table. Lily finally let exhaled.

"Hi," James said quietly.

"Hello," Lily said just as quietly.

"I've been looking for you," James said fidgeting.

"Oh? Well, you have found me," Lily said feeling as if this conversation felt familiar.

"I have. I decided we need to talk now," James said.

Lily didn't say anything, but simply nodded.

James sucked in a breath and then exhaled.

"All right. I-I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. And I just want to let you know that I love you. I love you more than anyone. And you have to know this was a mistake. This wasn't what I wanted to do. I take complete blame for this. I should have known better. And I'm terribly sorry, Lils," James said sadly.

"James, just spit it out."

"All right…one night Sirius and I got piss drunk with my cousins. I can usually hold my liquor, but I don't know what I was even drinking the whole night. Well, my cousins, Padfoot and I all headed into town to just start some fun. Well, my cousins were all flirting and such with the girls in the town. Padfoot was as well. I was just enjoying myself and finishing off the bottle. A girl approached me. She sat down next to me and we talked. She asked if I had a girlfriend and I answered yes because Lils you're it for me and now that you reciprocate my feelings, I felt we were together, but not. Anyways, we talked more and before she left, she leaned down and kissed me. I was so shocked that my drunken mind pulled away when it was too late. I should have been on guard. I don't want anyone but you, Lily. After pulling away, I ran for it. I'm not asking for your immediate forgiveness, but please know that this was eating me up inside since it happened," James finished quietly.

Lily continued to stare at the boy in front of her. She didn't know what to think.

He didn't want to kiss this girl, but he was so drunk and out of his normal mindset that he didn't react to it until it was too late. She and James weren't officially together at the time, but he felt like they were together regardless of title. Lily felt the same way. So, all-in-all, he _had_ cheated on her.

James finally looked up at her. She saw unshed tears in his eyes. Lily looked at him with no emotions giving her away.

"Lily, please say something," James pleaded.

Lily sucked in a breath and exhaled it like James had moments before.

"James…I don't know what to say. I mean, we weren't officially together, but I felt the same way you did. I felt like we were together—in a way. That night you came to my room, I felt that we made a silent promise to one another that I was yours and you were mine. I know that it wasn't completely your fault, but I suppose you should have known better. Especially since you were knackered! James, I want this to work out between us and you're right into believing that I won't be forgiving you for, I don't really know how long. I just need some time. Maybe you need a bit of time as well," Lily said starting to pack up.

"I-I understand. Again, I'm sorry. I can't even put into words how sorry I am. Just know I love you," James said staring right into her eyes.

"I know you do James and I-I love you, too. I mean, you should have told me as soon as possible. That's what's really pissing me off. Things may not have been so bad if you just told me over the summer. All summer I thought about you. And wondering and worrying. And in the end, all the things I told myself wouldn't or couldn't happen has happened. I almost feel foolish believing that you've grown up."

"Lily, I have grown up! I have. It was a dumb mistake and I am regretting it more than you know. I know that means nothing right now, but I have to tell you that. I've grown up and I've changed. I'm not the same 15 year old boy that you grew to hate. And I promise for the rest of the year, I will prove to you that I have changed. I promise," he said getting up.

Lily nodded. "Then show me."

With that, Lily walked out of the Common Room and headed to her room. All the while tears pricking her eyelids.

* * *

Later that evening, there were several knocks on Lily's door. Lily had been sprawled upon her bed, crying since she'd come back from talking to James. Lily got up slowly and lumbered over to her door. When she opened it, she saw Jenna, Tegan, Remus and Sirius standing there.

"We heard you spoke to James, let us in," Tegan said behind the boys.

Lily silently let them in.

All four of her friends sat on the floor in a semi-circle around her bed. They looked like a bunch of kindergarteners sitting there waiting on the teacher to read them a book. Lily smiled to herself for a moment and then sat on her bed.

"All right, what happened?" Tegan asked impatiently.

Lily sighed. She gave them the abridged version of everything they said.

"That fucking arsehole!" Jenna yelled.

Tegan and Lily looked at their conservative friend.

"What? You two are acting as if you've never heard me swear, ever. Which is a lie. I've swore many of times. Now, I am going to kill him," Jenna said.

"No, don't kill him," Lily answered quietly.

"And why the hell not?" Tegan asked.

"Because I'm giving him a chance," Lily said.

"What? To cheat on you again!" Tegan asked angrily.

"Whoa, whoa! Even though Prongs has done something completely thick and mental doesn't mean he's going to do it again. Ever since that night, he's been beating himself up about it. I had to watch over him for the rest of the summer to make sure the bloke didn't off himself," Sirius said crossing his arms and glaring at Tegan.

"I agree with Sirius. I know James would never want to hurt Lily again. He couldn't ever hurt Lily again. I haven't seen him this upset since Lily rejected him all those years ago. I know you're doing the 'best mate' thing right now, but if Lily's willing to give him a chance, maybe you two shouldn't be ready to kill him off. I know you're going to protect Lily no matter what, but in the end Lily's the one who's going to make the decision," Lupin said.

"Thanks for agreeing with me Moony!" Sirius said with a smile.

"Pads, you're not as daft as I thought you were," Remus said smiling at him.

"Thank you all for your concern and Sirius and Remus are right. I will be making the decision in the end. And Tegan and Jen that's for wanting to protect me. I'll see if James can prove to me that he has indeed matured and gain my trust back," Lily said to her friends.

"We'll always try to protect you, Lils. You're our best mate. It's in the job description!" Jenna said with a smile.

"And we hope James proves you can trust him again. He loves you. He truly does," Tegan added.

Lily nodded thoughtfully.

"Well, Lily-Flower, we should go so that you can get some rest," Sirius said as he kissed her cheek.

Remus, Tegan and Jenna all followed suit and headed to her door.

"Bye guys and thank you ever so much," Lily said before they left.

They all smiled at her and went back to the Common Room.

After her visit with her friends, she felt a tiny bit of hope that wasn't there hours ago. She hoped as well as they did that James Potter proved he had matured and that she could trust him. She loved him still even after learning what happened.

Lily sighed to herself and changed her clothes so should could get ready for bed.

* * *

Several months had passed. It was now February. During the months that passed, many things had transpired.

Jenna and Robert Burns broke up

Lily stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays (for the first time in her Hogwarts career)

Many others also stayed during the holidays

Lily saw an old acquaintance and wished she hadn't

Things between Lily and James weren't so frigid

One November day, Jenna ran into Lily's room without knocking. Lily was lying on her stomach doing a bit of homework when Jenna burst in. Lily sat up startled.

"Lily!" Jenna called.

"Yes Jenna? And you don't have to yell, I am only a meter away from you," Lily said sitting Indian style on her bed.

"Sorry," Jenna said quietly.

Lily finally noticed the tears streaming down Jenna's face. Lily instantly got up and hugged her. Jenna clung to Lily as the sobs increased.

"Jen, what happened?" Lily asked while rubbing her back.

"R-Robert broke up with me!" Jenna sobbed.

"What? Why?" Lily asked holding her friend at arm's length.

"B-b-because I wouldn't have s-s-sex with him."

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Lily said.

Jenna quickly shook her head.

"I know you aren't, Jenna. That is the worst excuse I've ever heard. You shouldn't be wasting your tears over that bastard. If you didn't want to have sex with the slimy git, you don't have to. Plain and simple," Lily said looking at her best mate.

"I know," Jenna said quietly.

"Good, then why are you crying?" Lily asked.

"Because it makes me feel that that's all boys want from me and I'm sick of it!"

"Oh, Jen. You're gorgeous, inside and out and you know there's a boy out there that won't solely want you for sex. They'll see what I've seen for seven years. Don't worry about Robert or any other boy that thinks of you in that way. Ok?" Lily asked with a smile.

Jenna nodded and hugged her best friend. "Thanks, Lils."

"No problem love."

Jenna let her go and headed to the door. With one last smile, Jenna closed the door.

* * *

It was getting close to the holidays. The signup sheets for who was staying at Hogwarts over the holidays were already posted on the wall outside of the Great Hall. Lily looked at them every time she came down for a meal. She was half tempted to sign up. Christmas wouldn't be the same when she went home. Petunia wasn't going to be there now that she and Vernon were married. Mum and Dad could go visit them for Christmas this year.

Lily decided and quickly scrawled her name on the list. If she looked closely she would have seen a few other names that would have maybe changed her mind about the matter. But alas, Lily signed her name and didn't give it a second thought. After she signed her name, she wrote to her parents telling them that she was staying for the holidays and would see them soon enough.

The time for the others to leave was drawing close. Tegan and Jenna begged her to come home with one of them over the holidays, but Lily declined. She wanted to stay at the castle. She thought it would be fun without having hundreds of students roaming around all day. It would just be her and a few others that decided to stay.

Lily told her two best mates goodbye and happy Christmas before they departed. They exchanged gifts and said their goodbyes. Lily promised to write them if something interesting happened while they were away.

It had been several hours since the last student left. Lily was lying on her bed, enjoy the silence. She felt that she was the last Gryffindor in the tower. _Was she?_ Lily got up and walked down to the Common Room. It was empty, but she heard a few voices. Curiosity getting the best of her, she went to find these voices.

She stood at the bottom of the boys' staircase. Whoever was still in the tower was definitely up there. Lily slowly started climbing up the stairs. The voices sounded like they were coming from James' room. _Oh no he was still here. _Lily stopped in front of the door and placed an ear to it.

"I think we're the only ones left in the tower," Peter said with a smile in his voice.

"I think we may be the only ones here in the school. I doubt anyone else wanted to stay," Sirius said barking a laugh.

"If only we could be so lucky," Remus said.

"No, I think someone else is in the tower as well," James said.

"Take out the map and see," Peter suggested.

They all stopped talking and Lily heard someone take out what sounded like parchment.

Without another word, the dorm door opened and Lily almost fell into the room.

"Hello Lily," Peter said with a smile.

"Oh, um, hello," she said turning as red as her hair.

"Spying on us Lily-Flower?" Sirius asked amusement dancing across his face.

"No. I was seeing if anyone else was in the tower and I heard voices. So I came up to see who was still here," Lily ended lamely.

"Using your Head Girl skills," Remus said with a knowing smile.

Lily glared at him and looked down at her shoes. "You could say that."

"It's all right Lily. We were equally as curious as you to see if anyone was indeed still here. If you want, we were going to go around the castle to see if anyone else was here," Remus said.

"Oh no, that's all right. I'll leave you four to it. I'm going to go do some work or something. Thanks for the invite," Lily said with a small smile.

"Oh come now, Lily-Flower! We invited you. You should come. Who wants to work on holiday homework when you could hang out with us, the coolest people in the castle? No, don't answer that. Only you and Moony would ever want to _willingly _work on homework," Sirius said with a chuckle.

Lily gave him a smile. "If you all don't mind."

Sirius looked around at his best mates. "Do any of you oppose?"

All three boys shook their head.

"All right! It's settled, let's go!"

The five of them set out of the tower and walked every nook and cranny of the castle. Lily was amazed by their knowledge of the castle. She would have never guessed that there were so many hidden passages and rooms. Ultimately Lily enjoyed herself.

She and James barely said anything to each other. They only spoke when it was necessary. This was the first time they really had been in close proximately to one another since James told her what had happened over the summer. It was still a bit uncomfortable for Lily, but James seemed to be handling their closeness well. Or he hid it. Lily didn't quite know.

The night ended with them getting food and butterbeer from the kitchen and sitting in the Common Room together. It was a fun first night. They all laughed and talked. All awkwardness between her and James was momentarily forgotten.

The grandfather clock next to the fire chimed. Lily looked at the time and saw that it was one am. She quickly threw her bottles away and started walking to the girls' staircase.

"Where are you going Lily-Flower?" Sirius asked.

"To bed Sirius," Lily said with a giggle.

"It's still early. It's not like we have anything to do tomorrow anyways. What's the hurry?"

"I am tired and I _do_ have things to do tomorrow, er, today," Lily amended.

"Such a killjoy," Sirius said with a smile.

"No, I'm practical."

"If you say so," Sirius said taking a sip from his fire whiskey bottle.

"Goodnight Lily!" Remus and Peter called.

"Goodnight boys."

"Goodnight Killjoy," Sirius called.

"Goodnight Sirius," Lily said with a laugh.

"Goodnight Lily," James said quietly.

"Um, goodnight James," Lily said with a slight blush.

She quickly headed up the stairs without a backwards glance.

* * *

Days passed. It was Christmas morning. Lily sat on her window seat and watched as the snow fell silently to the ground. Hogwarts was beautiful surrounded by snow. Lily sighed. She wished she stayed previous years so she could savor this feeling, but this was her first and last time to ever feel this way. She felt at peace.

Sure things weren't as well as they should be, but in that moment she felt that everything would be okay. She just knew it. With one last look at the snow-covered grounds, Lily got up and got ready for the day.

She headed down to breakfast. It felt strange walking by herself. It also felt strange that the castle was so quiet. It had been several days, but she still wasn't used to the feeling yet. There was one table in the middle of the room. Lily, the Marauders and a few students from Hufflepuff remained. Lily was the first of all of the students to arrive for breakfast.

She smiled and said her good mornings to the staff as she sat down. She focused on her breakfast in front of her and nothing else. So when Sirius Black called her name from right behind her, Lily was quite startled.

"All right there, Lily-Flower?" Sirius asked with a grin.

Lily glared at him. "Yes, Sirius, I'm fine. You just startled me is all."

Sirius chuckled and sat down next to her.

"So the lads and I are planning to go to Hogsmeade today to get in the holiday spirit. Do you wish to tag along?"

"What? Dumbledore hasn't given us a Hogsmeade weekend during holiday," Lily said turning towards him.

"No shit Lily-Flower!"

"Then how are you and the rest of the Marauders planning on getting there without anyone knowing?" Lily asked raising an eyebrow.

"Love, you must not know us by now. We know _how _to get places," Sirius said with a wink.

Lily rolled her green eyes.

"So are you in?" Sirius asked smiling.

"I suppose. When are we going?"

Sirius clapped his hands with a huge grin on his face. "Sometime during the afternoon. I'll find you."

With that, Sirius got up silently and walked out as quickly as he came.

Lily sat there shaking her head and smiling. What had she just agreed to?

* * *

Lily was sitting in the Common Room reading a book when Sirius bound in.

"Ready to go Lily-Flower?" He asked with his grey eyes alight with mischief.

Lily giggled and got up. "Let me grab my cloak and shoes."

Sirius nodded and watched as Lily ran up the stairs. Moments later she returned in proper weather attire.

Sirius held out his arm and Lily took it without a word. The two friends walked out of the tower and towards an old classroom with an ugly statue of a woman with a hump. Lily looked around confused.

"I thought we were going to Hogsmeade," Lily said.

"And we are. We have to wait on the others," Sirius said leaning against the wall.

They didn't have to wait long, the other three Marauders could be heard yelling and laughing as they made their way towards Sirius and Lily. Sirius pushed himself from the wall and turned himself towards the sound of the voices.

James followed closely by Remus and Peter came around the corner.

"Happy Christmas," Remus said to Lily.

"Happy Christmas, Remus. And Happy Christmas to the rest of you," Lily added.

"Happy Christmas!" The other three chorused.

"Shall we go now?" Peter asked.

James took out his wand tapped the Old Crone's humped and said Dissendium_. _The statue moved out of the way and revealed a passageway. Lily's eyes bugged out of her head. Sirius rolled his grey eyes and took hold of her arm. He led her into the passageway after the others.

"Where does this lead?" Lily asked no one in particular.

"Honeydukes," Remus answered.

Lily nodded even though no one could see her.

Moments later they walked into Honeyduke's cellar. James told the others to stay down there and he'd check to see if the coast was clear. It was, so the five of them made their way up to the shop and out onto the street.

"Good, no one's out," Sirius said rubbing his hands together.

"What did you think Padfoot, it is Christmas after all," Remus said with a smile.

Sirius crossed his arms and walked in silence.

They headed to the Three Broomsticks. There were only a few people in the bar. All at their own tables nursing a drink.

The five of them sat in a booth together.

"Drinks? Food?" James asked.

"Mhm. Five Butterbeers?" Remus asked the table.

They all nodded in agreement.

James got up and went to order their drinks. James came back holding their drinks and quickly dispersed the drinks.

The five of them spoke of nonsense the whole time, telling stories, laughing and arguing. Lily—who sat closest to the window—glanced out of the window into the snow-covered street. Lily did a double take. She couldn't have seen him. It had to be someone who looked like him.

Lily stood up.

"Lily, are you ok?" Peter asked.

She nodded. "If you don't mind, I'm going to head over to Zonko's. I'll be right back."

The boys all looked at her with confused expressions and simply nodded.

Lily dashed out of the bar and looked around the street. No one was there. She went the way she saw the person that looked like him went. As she walked carefully down the street, she saw two figures ahead of her. As she got nearer, he suspicions were confirmed.

Severus Snape was standing at the end of the street with someone else that Lily couldn't quite make out. Lily looked around for a place to hide. There was an alleyway next to her. She quickly dashed into it and peeked around the corner.

Snape looked pissed off. Lily could tell by his body language. He was tense and his face was in the same cold mask. Lily couldn't hear what the two were saying however, but it couldn't be good.

Before she realized it, their talk was over. Severus was walking towards her. Lily started panicking. She swiftly flattened herself to the wall of the alleyway.

"Lily, I know you're there," she heard.

She bit her lip. What was she to do now? She decided to go out and face him.

"Hello, Severus," Lily said coolly.

"What are you doing here?" He asked looking around.

"What does it matter to you? Oh, right. You shouldn't get caught talking to me Severus, you'll get in trouble."

Snape stood up straighter. "It doesn't have to be this way."

"You're right, but you blew it."

"I know I did, but Lily…"

"No, don't 'but Lily' me. Why aren't you in school?" Lily asked crossing her arms.

"I completed my education early," Snape said slowly.

"I see. Well, I should be getting back to my friends," Lily said turning to leave.

"You mean Potter and company?" Snape drawled.

Lily turned back around. "Does it matter if I'm friends with him! You gave up on me. You have no rights, friends of not, to delegate who I'm friends with! That's my decision."

"He's no good for you, Lily. When will you see that?"

"You're wrong, he deserves me," Lily said turning and walking back towards the bar leaving a stunned Severus Snape behind her.

"Where'd you go, Evans?" James asked.

Lily turned to look at him. Her green eyes holding unshed tears.

"I ran into someone," Lily said quietly.

"Who?" James asked gently.

"Severus," Lily said barely audible.

James didn't say anything. He merely stared at Lily's downcast fast.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he said quietly.

"It's all right. I thought it was him and I shouldn't have gone after him. I don't know what I was thinking."

Silently, James walked closer to her. She looked up at him and saw his hazel eyes full of concern.

"You just let your curiosity get the best of you, is all," he said walking closer to her.

When she didn't tell him to back away, he hugged her. Lily stood there for a moment and then wrapped her arms around him.

The short-lived familiarity of it all was over-whelming. Lily felt safe and warm. It was intoxicating. Lily quickly pushed herself away and gave him a small smile.

James gave her a small smile back. The awkwardness seeped in.

"Prongs? Did you find her yet? Oh, there you are Lily-Flower!" Sirius said.

"Yup, here I am," she said with a smile.

"Ready to go?" Remus asked as he and Peter made their way over to the others.

They nodded and headed towards Honeydukes.

When they made it back to the Common Room, Lily told the boys she'd see them at dinner and went up to her room.

When she got to her room, she sat on the window seat by her bed.

Lily missed James. Yes, he messed up—yet it really wasn't his fault—and she was still mad about it. But yet she still loved him. How could see not? But she was still hurt about what happened over the summer. It didn't help that he seemed so intoxicating to her. _Dammit_.

Lily realized she hadn't opened her presents yet. The small pile was sitting at the bottom of her bed. She walked over to her bed and sat down. She quickly opened the present from her parents, Tegan, Jenna, Sirius and Remus and then…James. James still got her a gift regardless of the fact they weren't really speaking to each other.

Lily lifted up the bracelet and looked at it in the light. It was beautiful. It was pearl and simple. Lily never liked ostentatious things. Lily smiled to herself. She placed it on her left wrist and admired it against her milky skin.

Lily grabbed her parchment and decided to write to her friends and parents to thank them for the gifts. Also to inform her mates about what was happening at Hogwarts whilst they were away. She'd personally thank Sirius and Remus for their gift. Would she personally thank James or would she be cowardly and write him a thank you letter as well?

In the end, Lily took the coward's way out and wrote James a quick note.

_James-_

_Thank you ever so much for the bracelet. It's beautiful and perfect. I feel like a right ass for not getting you anything (yet again). You seem to never tell me we're getting anything for one another for Christmas. I will get you something, mark my words._

_Lily_

She folded the note and quickly walked down the girls' staircase and crossed to the boys'. She quietly walked up to James' door, slid the note underneath and darted back to her room.

It was hard being sneaky, Lily decided. She went to sit back on her window seat. The sun was setting and she soaked up the last remnants of the sunshine. As she was lost in her thoughts, she heard a noise and discovered a note lying on her floor.

Lily got up and picked it up. She knew immediately that it was from James. It read:

_Lily-_

_Again, you don't have to get me anything. You never do. I'm glad you liked your bracelet. I saw it and it immediately screamed "Lily". Happy Christmas, again. I'll see you soon for dinner._

_And you're welcome._

_James_

_P.S. Sirius is quite upset that you haven't thanked him for the gift he and Remus gave you._

Lily smiled and folded the note up again. She shook her head and sighed. She opened her door and headed down to dinner. She would thank Sirius and Remus when she saw them so Sirius could stop fuming.

* * *

Days flew by. It was New Years Eve already. After the New Year, there were only a few months left of school left. Their last year at Hogwarts was quickly coming to a close.

Lily was sitting downstairs in the Common Room doing last minute homework. She realized she had been a bit lax over holiday, more so than she has ever been over the years. She also realized she's been having fun, more so than she has in years. Change was good.

Lily's thoughts were interrupted when she saw Remus Lupin sit down next to her.

"Hello Remus," Lily said with a smile.

"Hello. Doing work as well?"

"Yes, I realized I got a bit behind schedule," Lily said with a shrug.

"I did as well," he said with a smile.

"Well I can see why. Hanging out with you and the Marauders is a full-time job."

"That it is. Speaking of hanging out with us, Sirius has this silly idea of having a New Years Eve party."

"It sounds silly especially since there's only the five of us in the tower and the scant few in Hufflepuff."

"Well knowing Sirius, that won't stop him. He'll have this party as if the whole school was present."

They both laughed together and then lapsed into silence.

"So how have you been, _really_?" Remus asked.

Lily exhaled loudly.

"I've been all right. I mean things with James and I aren't as bad as they were. We're on speaking terms and ever since Christmas day; I've felt all right around him again."

"That's good. I know he misses you. I'm glad that he's not acting like James from the past. If he were, he would be complaining every few minutes about how he misses you, but James now is being more reserved. It's…strange," Remus said knitting his eyebrows together.

"Really?" Lily asked thoughtfully.

"Mmm hmm."

The two friends didn't say anything for awhile. All was heard was the scratching of their quills on parchment. After a few minutes, the portrait opens and Sirius and Peter bust in.

"The party has arrived!" Sirius yelled.

Lily turned around and looked at the boy. "Sirius, there's barely anyone here, no need to yell."

"I'm sorry Lily-Flower, I'm fucking excited!"

"I can see that."

"And we brought fire whiskey," Peter added with a smile.

"I can see that as well," Lily said.

"Aw, Lily-Flower you aren't going to celebrate with us?" Sirius asked giving her puppy dog eyes.

"I don't know yet," Lily said turning back around.

"Aw come on! This may be the last year you get to celebrate _Marauders_ _style_," Sirius said sitting on the arm of the couch.

"That's what frightens me," Lily said looking up at him.

"What does?" Sirius asked confused.

"_Marauder's style_," Lily said with a smirk.

"Oh Lily-Flower there isn't anything to worry about!"

Lily saw Remus shaking his head next to her.

"If Remus thinks it's a bad idea and _he's _a Marauder, then there's something wrong!"

"Don't pay attention to straight-laced Remus. He knows he enjoys every second of our greatness," Sirius said with a smile.

"Not _every _second, Padfoot!" Remus corrected.

"Whatever, don't listen to him. Just have fun with us!" Sirius said pleading with Lily.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine, but this is the last time."

"Never say never, Lily-Flower," Sirius said with a smirk.

* * *

After dinner, the New Years festivities began. Sirius poured them all fire whiskey and broke out the records.

Lily noticed throughout dinner that James was missing. She thought it odd considering he's usually front and center for a Marauder's party. Lily saw that Sirius was distracted and set her drink down. She quickly headed for James' room.

Lily inhaled and knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again. Again, no answer. She was about to walk away when she heard the door open a crack. She turned around and saw James Potter squinting at her.

"Hey," Lily said quietly.

"Hi," James said sleepily.

"Were you sleeping the whole time?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, I fell asleep after lunch."

"Well, you've missed dinner and you're missing Sirius' New Years party."

James chuckled. "I'll be down. I'm just going to go change."

Lily nodded and headed back downstairs.

"Lily-Flower where did you go!" Sirius yelled.

"Sirius Black what did I tell you about yelling?"

"Sorry."

"And if you _must_ know I went to see if James was in his room since he didn't turn up at dinner," Lily said with her hands on her hips.

"Was he still asleep?" Remus asked taking a sip of whiskey.

Lily nodded.

"Good old Prongs. He probably would have slept through the New Year if you didn't wake him," Peter said.

"My thoughts exactly," Lily said sitting back down.

"Prongs!" Sirius yelled happily.

Lily just shook her head. She knew he wouldn't listen to her about yelling for no reason.

"You've finally decided to join us, eh?" Remus said with a laugh.

"Shut up, Moony. I was tired," James said sitting on the couch next to Remus.

"I'm only joking with you," Remus said nudging him.

Sirius came over to the couch and handed James a glass of whiskey.

"Thanks mate," James said to Sirius.

Sirius nodded and sat back down in his chair.

The night consisted of singing—albeit badly—to songs, talking, more storytelling and of course meaningless arguments.

Lily was enjoying herself even if she was a little concerned about this Marauder style Sirius was talking about earlier. As the time drew closer to midnight, Lily felt oddly reminiscent to the year prior. It had been Sirius, James, Tegan, Jenna and herself. _Would she kiss James again? _Part of her wanted to, but the other part was scared to.

"Excellent, it's almost that time," Sirius said looking over at Lily.

Lily gave him a confused look.

"Oh, no! You're not going to make us go around and tell everyone our resolutions?" Peter groaned.

"I actually am, Wormy," Sirius said with a mischievous smirk, "you can go first by the way."

Peter groaned. "I just want this—our friendship—to continue."

"It will Wormy, don't worry. Moony, your turn!"

"I just want…a job where I'm accepted," he said quietly.

"Moony, you'll be fine. Don't worry," James said with concern.

Remus nodded and remained quiet.

"Your turn Prongs!" Sirius said.

"I just want to fix everything and continue to be mates with you all," he said with a smile.

"Oh, Prongs. You'll _never _lose us. And I think everything will be fixed soon," Sirius said with a wink, "Lily-Flower your turn!"

"Erm, I plan to do well in my career choice and also to make sure everything is fixed in my life," Lily said quickly.

"Lily-Flower, you're always the over achiever," Sirius said with a laugh.

Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

"Now it's my turn!" Sirius said rubbing his hands together, "I plan to finally get my motorbike."

The three boys that sat around him let out a round of laughter.

"You're finally going to get it then Padfoot?" James said after his laughter died down.

Sirius nodded vigorously.

They started up again.

"You know, it's not that funny. When you arseholes are going to be riding brooms, I'll be riding in style. And you'll ask me for a ride and I'll tell you no because you all laughed at me," Sirius sniffed.

"You tell them, Sirius," Lily said with a smile.

"At least _she_ understands me!" Sirius said pointing at Lily.

The three boys finally stopped their laughing.

"So you think," Peter said with a smile.

Sirius crossed his arms and turned his head away from his friends.

"Oh! It's midnight! Happy New Year everyone," Lily said holding up her glass.

The others followed suit and clinked their glasses together.

"Happy New Year," they all said in unison.

After a bit more chit chat, Lily decided to call it a night.

"Well, I will bid you all goodnight," Lily said finishing her glass and setting it down.

"Aw, so soon?" Sirius whined.

"'Fraid so," Lily said with a smile.

Sirius got up and hugged her and gave her a sloppy, wet kiss on her cheek. Lily giggled and wiped the kiss off.

Remus and Peter merely said goodnight instead of following Sirius' ridiculousness.

"Um, can I come talk to you for a bit?" James asked Lily.

Lily nodded and started for the stairs. James ran up the boys' staircase and grabbed his broom. He flew up Lily's staircase and saw her door was already open. He landed at her doorway.

"You can come in and shut the door if you want."

James nodded and walked in.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Lily asked sitting on her bed.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to fix _us_ as well. Was that what part of your resolution was about?" James asked sitting on the floor.

Lily nodded. "Yeah, after you hugged me on Christmas, I can't deny it any longer. I still feel the same way about you, but I'm still scared. I just want to take it one step at a time."

"I understand. I really do. I'll take it slow as long as I get you back because I've been miserable without you. It hurts to have had you and then to lose you so quickly," James said playing with his broom.

"I know. It hurts me as well, but we'll get back to that," she said with a small smile.

"I'm glad to hear that."

Lily nodded again and got up.

"Well, I'll let you go to bed then. Happy New Year again. I'll see you later."

Before James could turn around and open the door, Lily was standing in front of him.

He could see the light freckles on her nose. He wanted to reach out and lightly touch them with his index finger, but he restrained the need.

Lily leaned in closer. He could feel her warm breath, that smelled like fire whiskey, on his face. It was intoxicating. He leaned forward as well.

James felt Lily's lips upon his. James was shocked, but then quickly responded back to her lips. He missed the feel of her lips on his. He savored the moment. He didn't get aggressive like he wanted to, but kisses her like she was fragile. Lily's tongue darted out and licked his bottom lip. James opened his mouth and rolled his tongue around hers. This was pure pleasure.

Lily pulled back moments later. Her face was flush and her breathing coming out in quick sprits. James was in the same state.

"Goodnight, Lily," he said lightly stroking her face.

"Goodnight, James."

With that, he turned around and flew back down to the Common Room.

* * *

_Present day_ (February)

Lily was sitting around with Jenna and Tegan in the Head's Common Room when the door burst open. The three girls sat up straighter and looked to see who came rushing into the room. It was Sirius, Peter and Remus.

"Lily!" Remus said out of breath.

"What's going on?" Lily asked standing up.

"You have to come with us," he said gasping.

"Why? What happened?" Lily asked her voice full of concern.

"Just come with us," Remus said quickly.

Lily looked at her mates and they told her to go. Lily nodded and ran out of the room with the three boys.

"Tell me what's going on!" Lily said.

"James, James isn't doing so well," Sirius said quietly.

"Why?" Lily asked.

"His parents were killed, Lily-Flower," Sirius said slowly.

Lily gasped and put a hand over her mouth. "What? How?"

"They were on a mission and they-they were surround…" Sirius didn't finish the sentence.

Lily quickened her pace as did the others.

"He won't let us anywhere near him, so we were hoping that you could try," Remus said.

"I'll try," was all she could say.

Peter yelled the password to the Fat Lady and they hurried inside. They all ran up the boys' staircase and stopped in front of James' door.

Lily stepped closer to the door and knocked. No answer. Lily knocked harder.

"Go away!" James yelled.

"James, it's Lily. Let me in, please," Lily said with desperation.

"Lily? Just leave me alone," he said.

Lily looked around at the boys and bit her lip.

"The password to his room is flower," Remus said quickly.

Lily nodded and muttered the password. The door opened with a small click. She gave his friends one last look and headed inside.

The room was dark. The red and gold velvet curtains were drawn. The lights in the room were out. Lily could barely make out James' shape on his bed. Lily slowly walked over to him.

"James?" She said quietly.

"How'd you get in here?" He asked just as quietly.

"Remus gave me your password."

"Oh. Well, I don't want to see anyone right now, Lily. Can you please leave?"

"I can't do that, James."

"Why?" He asked sitting up.

"I have to make sure you're all right," she said sitting on the edge of his bed.

"I'm not all right, Lily. I doubt I'll ever be all right again," James said softly.

"I know it hurts right now, but you will be all right again James. You have to be. Your parents would want you to live a long, happy life."

"You don't know how this feels, Lily. And how would you know what my parents would want!"

"I know I don't know how it feels to lose _parents_, but I do know how it feels to lose others. I admit, I don't know what your parents would want, but I'm sure they wouldn't want you to throw your life away because they aren't around anymore."

James didn't say anything for awhile. He merely soaked everything in. He scooted closer to Lily.

Lily hesitantly put an arm around his shoulders. He laid his head on her shoulder and sighed.

"I'm glad you're so hard-headed," James said with a smile in his voice.

"Well, I'm guessing that's the best thank you I'm going to get," Lily said with a laugh.

James lifted his head and turned to look at her. Lily couldn't make out his features in the dark, but she knew he was looking at her. She could feel it.

"I love you, Lily. I feel like I have to tell you that."

"I love you too, James."

"You know, I always thought my parents were invisible. I mean, I know they really weren't, but I just felt that they _were_. I know it sounds ridiculous and childish, but that's how I saw them. With them…dying, reality has finally set in. And I'm actually scared. I'll admit it; the G_reat_ James Potter is scared. If my parents could be done away with so easily, could I?"

Lily rubbed small, soothing circles around his back. "It's not ridiculous or childish to think that your parents were invincible. I think we all think that way. We love them so much that we think nothing bad could ever happen to them. And maybe that isn't such a bad thing, but it hurts twice as much when we discover it's not true. And James, you're allowed to be scared. I'm scared too. All of us are scared. With this war looming over our heads, it makes sense to be scared. And don't worry about being _done away with_. You're the _Great James Potter_," Lily said with a smile.

James chuckled beside her and rubbed his knuckles over her cheek.

Lily leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. She was startled when she felt his lips on hers. Lily responded to his urgency. She felt the need in his kisses. He needed to be reassured. He needed to feel loved. He needed to forget for awhile. And Lily would give him all of those things.

James's tongue brushed her bottom lip. Lily opened her mouth slightly to grant him entrance. Their tongues danced together as Lily fisted her small hand in James' hair. It was as soft as she imagined. She felt James' hands rub her back up and down as they continued to snog.

Lily broke the kiss, out of breath and shaking. She felt James was in the same state.

"Lily, I-I want to make love to you," he said softly.

Lily was shocked. "Are you sure, James?"

He chuckled. "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

Lily giggled. She placed her lips back upon his and gave him a soft kiss.

James deepened the kiss and went back to where they left off. Lily's hands slid down his chest to his torso. She played with the hem of his shirt. James started to lift his shirt with Lily's help. James broke the kiss long enough to bring his shirt over his head and throw it into the distance. He quickly started kissing Lily again.

Lily gingerly touched James' chest. He couldn't help but smile as she slowly explored his torso. James broke contact with her mouth and slowly kissed her cheeks, her forehead, and her neck. Anything he could reach, he kissed. Lily felt more comfortable now and slowly stroked James' chest and torso. She liked how he shivered under her touch.

James' hands went down Lily's torso slowly. He enjoyed the feel of her curves under his finger tips. His fingers danced around the bottom of her shirt. He lifted her shirt and pulled it over her head. Since James couldn't see her—he wished he could—he lightly traced her body with his hands. Her small, supple breasts felt heavenly even with her bra still securely on. James wanted to feel them without the damned bra.

He slid his hands over her ribs and smirked when she shivered. He slowly caressed her back and unhooked her bra. Lily took the straps down and James' hands instantly went for her chest. His calloused hands were rough, but the feel of them over Lily's soft skin felt amazing. She left out a small groan. James decided to try someone else. He gradually leaned forward and placed chaste kisses all over her chest. When he got close to her nipple, he laved around the taunt bud and then sucked on it softly. Lily's drew back her head and let out a moan. James did the same with the other.

Lily pushed his head away from his breasts and pushed his down. She started kissing him all over. She started at his strong jaw, down his neck and down his chest and stomach. She stopped right above his pants and James thought he was going to pass out from the pleasure her lips brought. Lily sat up and kissed James on the lips.

James flipped them over. Lily could feel his erection pressed to her belly. She gulped. He pulled back and rested on his knees between her legs. She jumped when she felt his hands rubbing up and down her thighs.

"All right there, Evans?" James asked with a smile in his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine," Lily said sounding a bit nervous.

James laughed as his hands inched their way up her skirt. James' hands finally stopped and rested right at the top of her thighs. Lily let out a shaky breath. She then felt his thumb upon her. Lily let out a breathy moan. James' thumb slipped inside her knickers and continued his ministrations. Lily felt her body grow hot. She had never felt so much in such a small amount of time.

She felt like she was losing control of her body. It felt hot and cold at the same time. She felt tension in her stomach and it was growing by the second. Soon the tension was gone and so was her ability to move. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she clutched the bed sheets. James removed his thumb laid down next to Lily.

"Bloody hell," Lily whispered.

James let out a soft chuckle and kissed her neck.

"That, that was amazing."

"There's more to come," James said kissing her lips.

She felt James pull off her skirt and knickers. She shivered. She heard James' undoing his belt and slip off his pants. Lily lifted her left arm and ran it down his stomach and stopped at his erection. She gingerly placed it in her hand. Lily heard his breath become shallow. Lily, not having any sexual experience, slowly moved her hand up and down his length. James let out a low moan. Lily smiled to herself and kept going. James grabbed her hand and stopped her.

"Did I do something wrong?" Lily asked with much concern.

"No. You were doing everything quite amazingly, but if you kept going I'd literally explode," James said in a forced voice.

Lily giggled. "I'm sorry."

"S'ok."

James took off his boxers and lay down next to Lily again.

"Are you sure about this?" James asked.

"You finally asked me, eh?" Lily asked with a laugh.

"Shut up, Lils. I'm being serious."

"I know. And I'm very sure about this," Lily said kissing his cheek.

James got up and kneeled between her legs again. Lily felt the heat radiating off of his cock. He scooted closer to her entrance. The head was right between her legs. James rubbed her legs to ask if she was ready. Lily took his right hand and gave it a squeeze.

With that, James slowly pushed his way into her. Lily let out a gasp.

"Am I hurting you?" James asked.

"A little, but it'll go away. Or so I've read."

James let out a nervous laugh and continued to push all the way inside of her. He stopped when his cock was buried inside of her warmth. The warmth and wetness was enough to make James come instantly. But he squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath.

"James?" Lily called.

"Yes?"

"You can move now," she said quietly.

James pulled back bit by bit and then slid back into her. Lily let out a moan as did James. He repeated the process again and again.

James and Lily simultaneously moaning and saying each other's names.

James felt his balls tighten. He knew he was about to come. Lily knew she was close as well.

"Lily, I love you," James said before he threw his head back and came hard.

"I love you too, James," Lily said as her climax hit.

James rolled off of her, but draped a leg over her hip. Both out of breath and sweaty.

Lily turned towards James and kissed his sweetly on the lips.

"So, I think that warrants us being together again," Lily said as she propped herself on her elbow.

James smiled and kissed her nose. "I'd say so."

They both laughed as James wrapped Lily in his arms.

* * *

Months passed quickly without any incidents. James and Lily were back together and happy, the Marauders were planning their graduation prank and life—despite the war—wasn't so bad.

Graduation was soon approaching and the 7th years were beyond nervous to be flung into the _real world_. They were all so accustomed to Hogwarts that it was hard to imagine a life outside its walls. They spent some of their childhood and teenage years at the castle. It was almost unfair that they didn't get to spend their young adult lives at the castle as well.

"So did you write your speech then?" Lily asked James as they sat by the lake with their friends.

"Speech?" James asked raising a black eyebrow.

"Yes? We both have to give one at graduation. Did you not hear McGonagall three days ago when she told us we needed to write speeches?" Lily asked with a smile.

"Lils, when do I ever pay attention to Mcgonagall?"

"Yes, I know stupid question, but I at least _hoped _you caught that little tidbit."

James smiled charmingly at his girlfriend.

"Give it up, Lily. I'm sure he'll ask me to write his speech at the last minute," Lupin said with a smirk.

"I'm sure he will," Lily said sticking her tongue out at James.

"No, I'll actually write it myself and it'll be excellent," James said crossing his arms with a sniff.

Everyone laughed around him. James glared at them all.

"Prongs, it's all right mate. I believe in you," Sirius said with a wink.

"At least someone does!" James said.

Lily fondly remembered that day by the lake. She was sitting on stage looking out in the crowd of faces of her peers. James sat next to her tapping his foot in anticipation. Dumbledore stood at the podium and smiled at the crowd. He cast a sonorus charm on himself.

"Good morning everyone," he started. The crowd grew quiet as Dumbledore made his speech.

When he was done, the crowd clapped and he looked over at Lily and James. Lily took a deep breath and walked over to the podium.

"Good morning, peers, students and families. My seven years at Hogwarts has taught me a lot. I'm honored I was allowed to come here. The people, teachers and even the odd creature or two has taught me more about myself and the world than I think anyone or anything else could.

Hogwarts has been my home, as it has been for many others. I feel the safest when I'm behind its walls. Now that I am leaving, I don't feel safe anymore. I feel like I'm leaving my childhood and early teenage years behind. I feel like I'm leaving part of myself behind.

It's a strange feeling, but it's part of growing up. And I'm happy to have had the chance to grow up here. And I hope you all feel the same way. And good luck on all of your future endeavors. Thanks," Lily said as she walked away from the podium.

Everyone burst into applause. Lily sat down next to James and winked at him. James smirked at her and got up. He cleared his throat and began.

"Hello people I have grown to like and dislike over these many years. This will probably be the most informal speech you've heard, but what did you really expect from _me_?

Well, as Evans said, Hogwarts has too been my home and I wouldn't change a thing about it. I found fantastic mates here along with other things. I don't think I've ever gotten in so much trouble anywhere else, but here. And I formally apologize to Dumbledore and the rest of the professors. But just remember that you will sorely miss me and the rest of the Marauders. I guarantee that.

But enough with the mushy stuff and on with more important matters. Let's graduate and show Hogwarts that we're the best class they'll ever have," James finished and smirked at his peers.

He went to sit down with cheers and applause. He took Lily's hand and walked down to where the others were sitting.

Dumbledore once again took the podium and calmed everyone down. He began calling the students' names.

After the last name was called—Zabini, Thaddeus—everyone threw their hats in the air like Muggles did when they graduated. Cheers and fireworks were also heard.

Lily heard her name being called from the crowd. She saw her parents standing there and ran to hug them.

"Congratulations Flower!" Geoffrey said with a grin on his face.

"Thanks daddy!"

Elaine hugged her daughter and sobbed into her neck.

"I'm so proud of you darling," she said wiping her eyes.

"Oh, mum, no need to cry. But thank you," Lily said with a smile.

Lily turned around to see where James was. He was standing next to the Marauders. When she got his attention she motioned him over to her. He slowly walked over to her.

"Mum, dad, this is James Potter…my boyfriend," Lily said biting her bottom lip.

"Well, hello," Elaine said hugging the boy.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Evans," James said shocked.

When Elaine let the poor boy go, Geoffrey stood in front of him. James gulped and held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you as well Mr. Evans."

Geoffrey took his hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you as well James."

The four became silent.

"Well, this is awkward. I'm going to go," Lily said grabbing James' hand and waving goodbye to her parents.

"Well that was awkward," James said with a smile.

"Indeed. I'm sure I'll hear a lot more about it when I go home," Lily said.

The rest of the Marauders and Tegan and Jenna were sitting down by the lake. The Giant Squid was splashing water about. James and Lily sat down next to their friends.

"We did it. We've survived seven years," Jenna said.

"We did. Who knew it would go so quickly?" Peter asked.

"I sure as hell didn't. It's almost sad," Sirius said watching the squid.

"It is sad. I'll truly miss this place," Lily said putting her head on James' shoulder.

"As will I. We've had a lot of brilliant memories here," James said with a sigh.

"And terrible ones," Remus added.

"But this place will always be our home in a way," Tegan said.

The seven of them grew silent and just soaked in what was going to be their last time looking at Hogwarts.

* * *

**A/N: **Whew! All done! Don't worry there will be an epilogue. I also promise it won't take as long as this did. I have free time now. And I am sorry that this did take so long, as I said before.

I hoped you enjoyed it. I sure did. 74 pages this chapter. I knew it seems rather rushed and I'm sorry. I was trying to get this done as soon as possible! If there's spelling and grammar mistakes, I'll fix them later. I just want to get this out.

Well, reviews are nice, even if you yell at me for taking so long. Lol!


	9. Epilogue

**Author's note:** Hello, hello! Here is the epilogue. I hope you like it! And thanks for those we have read and reviewed.

P.S. I also stole a scene from my story _Our Love Saved Us_.

**Disclaimer:** I obviously do not own shit. I merely borrow characters and twist them into random plots.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Epilogue  
**

The weeks after graduation passed by as a blur.

Lily had started the Auror program along with James, Sirius and Remus. Jenna started training to be a Healer at St. Mungo's. Tegan decided she wanted to intern in the Department of Mysteries.

Training with her friends was nothing that she had experienced before. Lily knew that coming into the program. She knew it was going to be hard and grueling. She wanted a challenge. She needed it.

Going home for Lily had been disheartening. Of course her parents were overjoyed to have their youngest daughter home for the summer, but Lily wanted more. She wanted to be out there helping as much as she possibly could. She didn't want to sit at home and wait for her time to leave. She felt she needed to be out there to fight.

Lily was impatient and she knew it. James had even told her so many times when she complained that things were taking too long. He would simply laugh at her and declare that program was already accelerated enough because of the war. Lily would still grumble that it wasn't soon enough.

The pair had grown closer. Especially since they saw each other everyday and often had to duel the other. James was a formidable partner, dueling and in their love life. What Lily was not, James was. Her weaknesses were his strengths and vice versa. They were perfect for each other and everyone knew it.

"So, when are you and James tying the knot?" Jenna asked Lily one day they got to have lunch together.

Lily choked on her tea. "Excuse me?"

"I believe you heard me, don't act as if you hadn't," Jenna said with a smile.

"I thought that harassing me was Tegan's job?" Lily asked raising an auburn eyebrow.

"Well since she isn't here, I have taken both her job and my own," Jenna said with a smile.

"Great," Lily said taking another sip of tea.

"So are you going to answer my question or not?"

"Well considering I'm not James bloody Potter, I cannot answer the question."

"Have you two even talked about it yet?" Jenna asked leaning over her tea cup.

"A little. Just...little things. And no, he wasn't been hinting at anything," Lily said pointing a finger at her friend.

"Ah, you know me too well. Never know. I may have to have a chat with Mr. Potter myself," Jenna said thoughtfully.

"Don't you dare!" Lily bellowed.

"Why Lils, are you scared that James will propose?" Jenna asked raising a brown eyebrow at her best mate.

Lily rolled her green eyes. "I'm not scared," she said jutting out her chin.

Jenna just looked at her.

"What? I'm not. He could propose tomorrow and I'd accept!" Lily said determined.

"What are you accepting?" The two girls heard from behind them.

They both stiffened. Lily turned around slowly and saw her boyfriend standing there with a smile on his face.

"I'd accept anyone that Jenna dated of course," Lily said with a smile of her own.

"Right. I don t believe you," James said sitting down at the table next to Lily.

"As you shouldn't! She 'a rotten liar," Jenna said winking at Lily.

"You know Jenna you're my best mate, not his. Therefore that means you're supposed to go along with whatever I say and not rat me out to him. Or have you forgotten the 7 years of amazing friendship?" Lily asked pointedly.

Jenna gave Lily a devilish grin. "Well, would you look at the time, I have to go! Um, James we'll be in touch rather soon. I have something to discuss with you. And Lily, I love you and stop lying it is a very bad habit, that you happen to suck at by the way."

Lily folded her arms over her chest. "Thanks. Consider us no longer friends. You can be James best mate. I'll just take Sirius from him. Fair trade."

"What? You are not taking Padfoot from me!" James said turning to look at his girlfriend.

Lily looked at him innocently. "Well, since Jenna has betrayed me and told on me to the likes of you, therefore she has broken the best mate cardinal rule. I will not stand for this, so I will take Sirius as my new best mate since she is clearly on your side."

"That's not fair. Jenna, you have to fix this. I cannot lose Padfoot," James said looking at the brunette in front of him.

"James, I am insulted! I thought you would be jumping at the chance to be my mate since I am fantastic, except when it comes to Lily."

"Jen, I'm sure you would be an exceptional mate, but Sirius knows too much about me and I really cannot let him go. He would probably tell Lily a lot of embarrassing things and I cannot afford that."

"All right, I will forgive you for that. Lily, I am sorry I have betrayed your trust and told on you for my own benefit. Now, I must really go. I love you both! And James, I'm quite serious. I will be in touch soon. We must discuss something," Jenna said sending an smirk Lily's way and leaving the cafe.

"I will never understand her," James said.

"Join the club! I haven t understood her these past 7 years," Lily said playing with James fingers.

* * *

Days later, Lily was at home laying on her bed after a long day of training. Her muscles ached and screamed every time she moved. When she saw an owl fly through her window, she simply stared at it. Willing it to come to her, but it didn't.

Lily mentally gathered her wits about her and got up slowly. The owl hooted and held out it s leg. Lily took the letter and petted the owl on its great head. Lily made her way slowly back to her bed, promising herself she would never grow old. She sat down and opened the letter.

_Evans~_

_Go out with me?_

_-Potter_

That's all it said. Lily couldn't help but smile. She turned over the note and wrote yes. She tied it back to the owl's leg and laid back on her bed.

Lily heard a resounding crack and saw James Potter standing in her bedroom. Lily felt like it was the summer before her 7th year. She smiled and sat up.

"Who knew you'd say yes so willingly?" James said walking over to the bed and sitting down.

"Well, you're not an annoying little twit anymore! So, of course I said yes," Lily said cheekily.

"I don't know if you remember our school years correctly Lily, but I was never an annoying little twit," James said faux offended.

Lily laughed. "Whatever you say James. Now, where we going?" Lily asked eagerly.

"I cannot tell you that, it is a surprise," James said with his trademark smirk.

Lily sighed heavily. "Fine."

"Now, go shower and get dressed!" James said helping her up.

Lily finally looked at the attire her had on. He had a nice maroon button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black slacks. He looked handsome.

Lily looked up and saw that James was smirking at her. "Evans, I know I look fantastic, but we're on a time schedule. Now, go!"

With a roll of her eyes, Lily headed into her personal bathroom.

Moments later, Lily came out in teal spaghetti-strapped summer dress with low white heels.

"You clean up rather nicely," James said winking at her.

"Shut up and let's go," Lily said smiling back at him.

James blindfolded her and then they apparated away.

Lily felt solid ground underneath her feet. She started to grow impatient. She wanted to know where they were and what was going on.

After what felt like forever, James took off the blindfold. Lily saw that they were in Hogsmeade.

"What are we doing here?" Lily asked raising an eyebrow in the moonlight.

"You'll see," James said grinning.

He grabbed Lily's hand and they headed up towards the castle.

Lily saw they went straight to the lake. Lily, feeling far more confused than she let on, cocked her head at James.

"It'll all make sense eventually," James said sensing her confusion.

James took out his wand and tapped the rock next to where they were standing. It moved and a picnic basket appeared.

"How did you do that?" Lily asked.

"Magic."

"No, seriously," Lily asked with a laugh.

"The house elves _may_ have helped me out," James said spreading out the blanket so they both could sit down.

James gestured for Lily to sit down on the blanket. She sat as well as he did.

James took out various foods out and placed them between he and Lily. He took out two glasses and poured them pumpkin juice.

"This looks wonderful," Lily whispered.

"I'll give our thanks to the elves later," James said smiling at her.

James handed Lily a plate and they both began piling food on their plates.

As the evening wore on, Lily and James ate, talked and enjoyed themselves immensely.

"There's one more thing I wanted to do before we wrap up this evening," James said quietly.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "How could you make this wonderful night any better?"

"Well, that is a fantastic question. It could make it better or worse," James said with a shrug.

He stood up and held out his hand for Lily. She took it. James took out his wand and cleaned up their picnic.

"Want to go on a short walk?" James asked.

"Sure," Lily said quietly.

They walked around the lake and part of the grounds. They laughed and reminisced about their years at the school. When they reached the tree the Marauders dubbed _theirs_, James stopped and turned to Lily.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"All right, go for it," Lily said kissing him on the cheek.

James took a deep breath in. "I know this seems like such a big step in such a short time, but I was thinking about what you said a few weeks ago. You said that things weren't going fast enough for your liking. Yes, you were talking about the Auror program, but I have to agree with you, but about something totally different. Lily, I've loved you since I laid eyes on you on the train in our first year. That's a _long _time for a bloke to chase after a girl. But you were worth it. And you'll always be worth it. I know we haven't been dating that long and I just feel that now that I got you back, I will never be able to let you go again. You mean more to me than anyone in the world. I love you Lily Evans and I want to marry you and have as many babies as you want. What I'm getting to is is that will you marry me?"

Lily's eyes welled with tears and she nodded her head vigorously. James took the box from his pocket and opened it.

"I got this ring made especially for you. I didn't want to give you the family ring because I think you're too unique to have something so old. You needed something that said 'I'm Lily Evans-Potter, hear me roar'," James said sliding the ring onto her finger.

Lily looked down at the ring. It was beautiful. It was a white gold band with a large princess cut diamond in the middle with a garnet diamond on each side of it. Lily looked back up at her fiance.

"I love you," she said quietly as tears slid down her cheeks.

"And I love you," James said cupping her cheeks in his hands and kissing her passionately.

When they pulled apart, Lily smiled. "Well, this is the ultimate 'go out with me Evans'."

James laughed. "It was and you said yes!"

"I did," Lily said as they walked back towards Hogsmeade hand in hand.

* * *

The weeks of planning were about to pay off. Lily couldn't believe it. Well, yes she could. She had pulled it off. It wasn't as ridiculous as Petunia's wedding. It was going to be simple and romantic.

Lily had asked Petunia to be her Maid of Honor, but she declined. Lily knew she would in the end, but she still had a tiny bit of hope.

Lily had asked her two best mates in the world and one of her closest cousins. It was going to be brilliant.

James, of course, asked the Marauders to be his groomsmen.

Lily and the girls were getting ready. Only one more hour and she would be Mrs. James Potter. It was beyond exciting. She honestly couldn't believe it.

Lily sat in her mock dressing room looking herself over in the mirror. Her dress wasn't traditional. It was a short dress, it went to her knees. It had a silk strapless bodice and the skirt flared out at her waist. She felt like a princess. She twirled in it once again and couldn't help smile at herself.

Her auburn hair was down in loose curls. Tegan and Jenna helped her with it. It would have taken her forever if they hadn't helped. Lily stopped twirling when she heard a knock at the door.

"Lils, you look beautiful," Elaine said.

"Thanks mum," Lily said smiling at her mother in the mirror.

Her mother walked over to her. Lily turned to look at her.

"How are you feeling darling?"

"Nervous. I couldn't believe it. Everything went so fast. I'm not complaining. It's just hard to process sometimes," Lily said playing with her hands.

"I felt the same way when I married your father, but I know you and James will be perfectly fine."

"I hope so."

"I know so, trust me," Elaine said with a wink.

Another knock was heard and the door opened.

"Lils, almost ready?" Tegan said peeking her head in.

"Yeah, I'll be right out," Lily said with a smile.

Elaine hugged her daughter and headed out of the door.

Lily placed her veil upon her head. It was also short and covered her face down to her nose. She looked herself over once more and grabbed her flowered and walked out the door.

Everyone was lined up. She spotted Jenna and Sirius at the head of the line then Tegan and Remus and finally her cousin Daphne and Peter. Her father was standing by the door as Lily came out.

"You look beautiful," he said as she took his arm.

"Thank you daddy."

The music started to play and Lily stood up taller.

* * *

James' head perked up once he heard the music begin.

Sirus and Jenna were the first to come down the aisle. Sirius smirked at his best mate as they drew closer. James smiled back at him. Jenna gave him a wink as she went to her perspective spot.

"Wait until you see her mate. She looks gorgeous," Sirius whispered to James.

James' smile grew broader. He couldn't wait to see her.

James knew the day would be perfect. The sun was shinning down at them and the weather wasn't too hot. He would be marrying the girl of his dreams in mere moments.

He did wish that his parents could be there. He knew they'd love Lily. They'd finally get the daughter they've always wanted. And they'd be happy James finally got to marry her and wouldn't have to hear the his constantly moaning about her.

He also wished Lily's sister would have accepted their invite. He knew how much Petunia meant to Lily. No matter how much they fought and didn't get along, he knew she loved her with everything she had. He hated that it made her sad. He wanted everything to be perfect for her today.

Remus and Tegan took their spots as well as Peter and Daphne.

The music changed and James stood up a bit straighter. Everyone stood up and waited for Lily to appear.

As soon as Lily appeared, James lost his breath. Even from afar she looked stunning. Her dress, her hair, everything about her was perfect. It took all of his will power not to run down the aisle and take her hand and run back to the alter.

When Lily and Geoffrey reached the alter, Geoffrey placed her hands into James'. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

The couple turned to face the minister.

"Today we are here to celebrate the union of two people..."

James stared at her the whole time. He feared if he took his eyes off of her, she would disappear. He tightened his grip on her hands.

After the exchanged their rings, vows and I dos, James waited with rapt anticipation for those final words.

"You may kiss the bride."

James wrapped his arms around Lily's waist and kissed her with all the passion her could muster.

When they broke apart, the crowd went wild. James held Lily's hand as they made their way down the aisle.

* * *

The reception was also outside.

Lily and James stood in front of the table as people came over to congratulate them.

"James, Lily-Flower! Congrats, mates! I love you both," Sirius said hugging them both at the same time.

"Sirius, have you been drinking?" Lily asked with a giggle.

"I have, but don't worry. My speech to you will be brillant!" Sirius said smiling at the couple.

"I can't wait to hear it, Pads," James said with a smile.

Sirius bowed and went back to the crowd.

"Congrats you two!" Jenna exclaimed.

"Thank you, Jen," Lily said hugging her best mate.

"I'm so happy you two _finally _did it. Took you two fucking long enough!"

"That wasn't _my_ fault," James said winking at Lily.

Lily rolled her eyes.

Jenna kissed them both on the cheek and left.

"Congratulations!" Remus said beaming at the two of them.

"Thanks Moony," James said with a smile.

"I agree with Jenna, it is about damn time!"

"Not you too! I thought you were the sensible one," Lily said with a grin.

"I am and I'm telling the truth," Remus said hugging them both.

"Congrats, loves!" Tegan said hugging Lily and then James.

"Thank you!" Lily and James said in unison.

"Now you two can make beautiful babies and I can finally be a damn aunt," Tegan said with a smile.

"Whoa! That won't be for a few years," Lily said turning red.

James laughed.

"Oh shut up, it'll happen," Tegan said with a smile and skipped off.

"Oh my god. I-I can't believe she said that. No, actually I can," Lily said burying her face into James' shoulder.

"It was pretty funny," James said putting an arm around his wife.

Lily lifted her face and gave James a swift kiss.

"Darling!" Elaine yelled.

"Hello mum," Lily said with a smile.

"Congrats, both of you," she said hugging both Lily and James.

"Thanks," they both said.

"I'm sorry for my wife," Geoffrey said with a smile.

"Oh, Geoff! I'm fine. I'm just happy that my little girl got married to such a nice man," Elaine said wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

Geoffrey put an arm around his wife's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. He let her go and walked over to Lily.

"Congrats, Flower. I love you and will always. I'm glad you married someone like James. He's a great bloke," he said hugging her.

"Thank you, daddy. I know he's great," Lily replied with a smile.

He gave her a smile and then walked over to James.

"Take good care of her," he said with a smile.

"Of course I will Mr. Evans," James said seriously.

"I know you will. Now, call me Geoffrey or dad."

James gave him a hug.

Lily was touched by the moment between her father and her husband.

After the rest of the guests gave them their congrats, they all sat down to eat.

Before everyone was done, Sirius stood up while clanging his glass.

He cleared his throat and was handed a microphone.

"Hello ladies and gents. We are all here to celebrate the nuptials between Mr. James Potter and Mrs. Lily Evans-Potter. I've known both James and Lily since first year. Pretty sure Lily hated both of us, mostly James though. Well, that never made dearest Prongs give up on her mind you. He badgered her and badgered her until she finally said yes. He was ridiculously happy and here we are today. I love you both dearly. Finally some estrogen in the group. To Lily and James," Sirius said holding up his glass.

Everyone held up their glasses and took a drink.

James clapped Sirius on the back as Lily walked over and gave him a quick hug.

Jenna stood up and clanked her glass.

"Hello, I'm Jenna. One of Lily's best mates. Most of us have been waiting _years_ for Lily and James to get married. I'm glad it's finally happened. They're both great people and I'm happy I've gotten to know them. I know their marriage will be filled with laughter and love. No matter they'll work out any problem they may have. You two are what I look up to. I love you both and wish you the best. To Lily and James," Jenna said holding up her glass.

The guests repeated the action.

"The couple will be taking their first dance," someone annouced.

James stood and held out his hand. Lily took it and they walked to the dance floor.

The band started to play and James wrapped his arms around her waist as Lily placed her arms around his neck. They stared at each other as they swayed to the music.

"I can't believe we're actually married," Lily said looking up at her husband.

"Me either. I have to be dreaming. I mean, I knew we'd be together eventually, but it just seems so weird to think we're married."

"It is weird, but I love being able to call you my _husband_."

James smiled at Lily and kissed her on the lips. "I love hearing it. I also love that I can finally call you my _wife_."

"One of the best things I've heard come out of your mouth, Potter," Lily said with a smile.

"Why thank you, Potter," James said laughing.

* * *

**2 years later**

Lily paced the area in front of the front door.

She was waiting for James to come home from work. She was panicking and she knew it. _Maybe things wouldn't turn out so bad_.

Lily saw the door open and she immediately stopped. She took a deep breath.**  
**

"James, I have something to tell you," Lily said quietly.

"Good news or bad?" James asked tiredly taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

"Good?" Lily said unsure.

"Let's have it then," he said wrapping his arms around her.

She bit her lip not meeting his eyes.

"Lily? C'mon. You can't just tell me there's news and then not tell me! Completely rude," James said smirking down at his wife.

Lily's green eyes finally moved to her husband's face. The smile on his face was contagious as Lily smiled back at him.

"I'm sorry, it's rather big news!" She said still smiling.

James rolled his hazel eyes and raised an eyebrow as to say "I'm waiting".

Lily sighed. "James, I-I'm pregnant."

The look on James' young face was priceless. His expression changed from teasing to surprise to worry in seconds.

"James? Are you ok?" Lily asked looking at her husband nervously.

James cleared his throat and looked at his wife.

"I think I need to sit down," he said letting her go and sitting down on their small sofa.

Lily continued to stand and shuffle her feet.

When James didn't say anything more, she spoke.

"I was terrified to tell you, you know? I'm just terrified in general. It's not; it's not a good time to have a baby. The war's going on and you and I are both fighting. I fear for both of our lives and now I'm even more frightened because for this baby's life. James, I'm _petrified_!" Lily said as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

James got up in one fluid movement and was standing in front of his wife in mere seconds. He wiped her tears away.

"Lily, I'm scared too. You and I both know this is frightening. And bringing a baby into the world at a time like this isn't ideal, but I see it as hope. Hope that this war will end and we'll have a family that we've always wanted. And I know you're going to be a brilliant mother. And I can only hope that I'll be a great dad. I love you and I'm going to love this baby, our baby. So no more crying, we have people to tell!" James said with a smile.

"James Potter, you never cease to amaze me," Lily said kissing him softly.

**9 months later**

"James!" Lily yelled.

James got up from the couch and ran into the bedroom.

"Yes Lils?" He asked out of breath.

"I believe it's time," Lily said, her green eyes as big as saucers.

"Time?" James asked.

Lily gestured to the puddle that was currently around her feet. James' eyes grew wide and looked up at his wife.

"Oh shit! That _time_!" He yelled as he rushed around the room to grad everything they needed.

He put the bag onto his shoulder and looked at Lily expectantly.

Lily cleaned up the mess and walked out of the room holding James' hand.

They flooed to St. Mungo's. The nurse at the desk put them in a room quickly.

Lily was laying in bed as James sat next to her holding her hand.

"James, I'm scared. I know we've had 9 months to prepare for this, but he's coming! Harry James Potter is coming," Lily said squeezing his hand.

"I know, love. And I can't wait to finally see him. I hope he looks like you," James said smiling at her.

"No, I rather him look like you," she said.

"We'll see soon enough."

As if James' summoned them, Lily's contractions started to hit closer together.

Lily had the arm that wasn't currently in James' possession over her eyes.

"James Potter, this was a terrible idea. This pain is the worst thing I have _ever _encounter and it's your fault. If you hadn't had sex with me, this would never have happened. I wouldn't be in pain right now," Lily said squeezing his hand.

"I'm sorry Lils," she heard the smile in his voice. It pissed her off.

"When this shit is over, you are not to come within two inches of me with your penis!"

James' mouth opened with a small pop. "_What_?"

"You heard me! If you do, I will hex it off!" Lily said as venomously as she could.

James cringed. He's seen Lily mad before, but this was beyond frightening. She was threatening his manhood.

"It'll be all right, Lils. I promise."

"Better fucking be."

After more swearing, threatening, crying and yelling Harry James Potter was born.

The doctor cleaned him and wrapped him in a blanket. He handed him to his mother.

Lily stared down at his black hair and green eyes.

"He's beautiful and he looks _just_ like you," Lily said teary eyed and looking at her husband.

James leaned over and kissed the baby on the forehead.

"He's perfect," James said in awe.

"Want to hold him?" Lily asked quietly.

James nodded his head and sat down. Lily handed their son over to his father.

James stared down at the tiny baby in his arms. He was beautiful.

Lily watched James as he simply stared at their son. Silent happy tears sliding down her cheeks. She had a family. Life felt perfect.

* * *

**Present time **

Lily was staring into space, but was brought back to reality when she noticed James was staring at her.

"What were you thinking about?" He asked looking down at Harry making sure he was still asleep.

"Just everything. I thought about our years at Hogwarts and Harry's birth. Just reminiscing," Lily said with a sigh.

"I do that often," he said smiling at her.

James slowly got up and walked out of the room. He put Harry in his crib and walked back into their bedroom. He held out his hand and offered it to Lily.

"Bed?" James asked.

Lily nodded and took his hand.

As they snuggled down to go to sleep, Lily stroked James' cheek.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"Why?" James asked knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

"For Harry. For Marrying me. Just not giving up on me."

James scooted closer and kissed her. "You're welcome. And thank you for Harry and for saying yes. You gave this bloke a chance at achieving his dreams and I thank you."

Lily smiled at him in the darkness.

"I love you, James Potter."

"I love you too," he said as they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: **And done! I had fun writing this and I hoped you enjoyed it as well. I didn't want to write about their deaths. Too depressing. In my mind, Lily and James lived forever.

Thanks to those who have read and reviewed. :)

P.S. I'll probably be sticking to one-shots for awhile. Done with chapter stories until I get super motivated again.


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